Mountain of Dire these are your good years

“Hal’s fine.  Well.  Everyone’s fine.  Kind of.  Like no one got hurt badly, or anything – I think there was a fight, but no one was badly hurt.  Her mom just looked…  Really haunted, I think.  You know, when you hunt, and you chase an animal?  Like that.”
 
Except Aponi hadn’t meant to kill – or maybe she had, and Speiden had just been quicker to escape than Aesire did.  Her perfidious intent was hard to gauge.  Or maybe the lack of mountainside had been what assured the former alpha’s survival.  The redhead had an answer to one query, but so many other questions arose in its stead.  She huffed softly, tail slowly moving to curl around her frame.
 
“Anyways – Hal, and her mom, and her mom’s pups, they all went north.  To Whitestone Monadnock.  I think Speiden had a friend up there, or something?  Hal took Alastor and Lark with her, too.  I’m not sure if anyone else decided to go.  But I just…  I just…  Don’t want to join another pack right now.  I don’t trust them.  Hal and Speiden didn’t do anything wrong, I just…  I’m not ready, not right now.  Is that weird?”
 
At some point, it occurred to Kyna that she was rambling, and though she’d enjoyed time spent with Ember previously, she wasn’t quite as close to this girl as she was Hal or Greer.  She flushed and ducked her head.  “Sorry, that was…  Probably more than you wanted to know.” 

A wild dissertation appears!

With each word that Kyna shared, Ember sat up straighter, stiffer. Distance from her past was what she wanted, but she couldn't help comparing and contrasting the story being told to her with her own horrid experiences. What happened to Sahalie's mother, whatever it was, obviously had been grave, even if blood hadn't been spilled. That so many pack members left after the event as well seemed to show a great deal about this woman who had taken leadership. Had they not trusted her intentions either? Or were their loyalties simply with the fallen alpha?

She supposed, maybe, that she would find out for herself soon. In any case, it didn't help her outlook, but so long as @Arion was with her she was certain some sort of peace could be found.

Her ears pinned back once more, her soft gold eyes regarded Kyna from their corners as she went on to express her emotions, the intangible hesitation that was currently dictating her actions. Oh, how Ember could relate.

"I'll always listen," she vowed, in assurance that Kyna had not overshared. Ember had always been an open ear for anyone who wanted to express themselves, no matter how tangled or seeming unnecessary their thoughts and emotions. That certainly would remain true for the gorgeous woman at her right.

Yet as that was said with a faint smile, any mirth shown upon her face fell away as she gathered her courage to bare her own vulnerabilities.

"I get it. I don't think it's weird at all. If it was so easy, to just go from place to place, then that would show... that it doesn't mean anything to you."

Emotions weren't meant to be shaken so easily. If significance was not stored in something, then life was empty and uselessly lived.

"My pack is done for. Really done for. My mom, she came back and she, tried to get leadership back. It was hers but..."

Her coiled muscles began to tremble, her voice becoming raw as she sunk backwards into the memory. Tears even pricked at the corners of her eyes.

"I think Eek killed her. I couldn't find her, but there was so much blood..." and by now Ember knew, that once a wolf disappeared beyond a certain distance from the pack, they were virtually gone forever.

"I thought I was going to die too, I was so sad. I didn't want to eat, to drink, I just... curled up under ground and stayed there."

If passing of thirst and hunger wasn't so painful, if it had been as easy as closing her eyes, she would have been gone. Ember was now thankful that wasn't the case.

"Eventually, I couldn't stand just barely hanging on. So I found Arion and Nalda and," a brittle heh passed her lips, "we decided we'd join the Bend. Because I knew you and Sahalie, and Nalda has family there I guess. Suppose I'll still go. Nalda won't change her mind and, Arion's the closest thing to family I have left.

But I'm not going right there, I'm here because I need to work on me, first. Get all the knots in my head out. Find myself, or something like that, I guess. So what I'm trying to say is, you do know what's best for you, if you just listen to your gut. Don't worry what anyone else would say about it. Time by yourself, searching for your own thing instead of trying to hold up someone else's, sometimes that's the best."

For some time, Kyna was at a complete loss of what to say.  Despite the similarity of their situations, it was hard to imagine the knowledge that someone else had killed one of your parents.  Watching Phineas die had been horrible, but it had only been a wicked part of life.  This must be how Wren felt – when Aesire was found, when Aponi, when her mother –
 
“I am glad you did not die, Ember.  Even though you were sad.  When my father died, all I wanted to do was run…”  Grief stuck different wolves in different types of ways.  Her tail dropped a bit as continue to think.  As she realized that her friend would be joining the pack she’d just left, she sunk a little further, but what could she do?  It was likely the group of yearlings would be well met, considering how many wolves had just dispersed.  With no family ties – yes, Ember would be just fine.
 
She huffed softly.  “But I think you are right.  Time by myself – time to work on me.  Figure all of this mess before I go on…”  Kyna gave a small nod, eying her companion.  “When you go – perhaps don’t mention we are friends.  I imagine my mother is not very happy with me right now.  But otherwise – I think they will treat you fine.”  

Perhaps we can wrap it up here?

A wild dissertation appears!