Blackberry Fields Ballet for One

<blockquote>The birds which dotted the barren branches were determined to sing their song, despite the cold weather. The air was fresh, bitter but fresh and it made for a pleasing day. The sun shone high in the sky, making the patches of snow which lay across the emerald grass glisten- it looked just magical as sparkles of blue and purple littered the floor.
Utterly bemused with the sight before her, the elegant white female was in her element as her imagination took the splendid scene before her and took it over the top; to Silence, the pools of snow where in fact rainbow puddles, the clear sky and sun sparkled and gave the world before her a soft glow. Everything was suddenly enchanting. With a grin upon her face, the small female danced into the field without a care in the world.

Silence was by nature, a happy girl and despite the circumstances she found herself in, lost, alone and somewhat defenceless she couldn’t help but enjoy the freedom that came with being in a strange new land, with extraordinary new sights and smells to assault her senses. Although she could only just hear them, she knew the birds were singing an alluring song for her to dance too. Pup-like in her behaviour, she mentally hummed her own tune to accompany the faint noise of the birds, as she allowed her paws to dance from snow clump to snow clump. Each time her toes touched the cold surface she imagined droplets of every colour splashing up and landing haphazardly on the ground around her. With an inward giggle, she would lift up to her hind legs, spin on the spot and land with such grace before she skipped to the next.

She danced her dazzling ballet for one across the field, neglecting to look for the tell-tale signs of others around her. In her world she was alone, a symphony of music and her paws against the world and she had momentarily found a reason to be happy. Strange though it may seem, her dance had made her forget of her loneliness; of her disregard of her mothers concerns which had ultimately lead her to being here now, lost and far from her homelands. For that single moment she felt bliss once more, like she had no troubles in the world and everything was just fine.

And her lonely dance continued further into the fields, away from cover and onwards towards larger mounds of snow and ice.

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you come to me with scars on your wrist you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this It was cold, but the sun still shone over the Thicket of Secrets, which gradually thinned out until it opened up to Blackberry Fields. Anyu could see the sun through the branches overhead now as she left the thicket. Soon she would be out of the Thicket and into the fields, where she could really see the sun once again. There was more snow as she came closer to the fields as well, as the branches of the vegetation thinned out. Pushing through the final few bushes, Anyu stepped out into the open meadow. She was greeted by the sun reflecting off of the snow and ice that still remained in the field. Blinking in the sudden light, she stopped for a moment and looked about the clearing. Tall grass poked through the snow in some places. Ice sparkled in the sunlight and Anyu could even hear birds singing in the surrounding trees. If she had to choose a word to describe the scene before her, it would be beautiful. The sun lifted her heart some, but the darkness still hung over her like a cloud, keeping her from really being excited by the beauty of the fields. It was hard to feel anything at the sight of the fields, even the little joy that she was able to feel. But any joy was better than none. As a younger wolf, Anyu may have run straight to the center of the field, racing from snowdrift to snowdrift just for the fun of it. Instead, she stepped forward slowly, taking her time to walk farther away from the thicket. She was only here for a little sunlight, and then she would retreat back to her den in the shadows of the thicket, where she could hide in her misery. She stopped several yards from trees of the thicket and basked in the sunlight, letting it reflect off of her bright white fur. Even in the cold of winter, Anyu could feel the sun’s rays warming her fur all the way down to her skin. Just as she was about to turn back, something caught Anyu’s attention. She turned her gray-green eyes to the movement that she had just glimpsed in her peripheral vision and saw that she was not the only one who had chosen to visit fields today. In the distance she could see another wolf dancing in the snowy fields. The wolf was white, as she was, but Anyu could not smell it from here and could not tell if it was male or female. Though she wanted to return to her shadowy life in the thicket, Anyu’s attention was trapped by the scene before her. She had never seen a wolf enjoying itself quite so much, except perhaps during the times when she had visited some of the more beautiful places in the place where she had once lived. She watched in silence. It never occurred to her that she should try to make contact with the wolf dancing further below, in the meadow. It didn’t even occur to her that she might be noticed by the stranger. She could only watch. i just came to say goodbye didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine

<blockquote>The centre of the clearing got closer and closer, and within its heart laid a huge mound of snow. It appeared the wind had been blowing in all directions as it fell, ploughing it towards the middle of the clearing to create a dune of white. It was undisturbed, no prints had been etched into its soft surface and no snowflake had been disturbed.

Silence drew closer and closer, but never touched the circle of snow. Instead her dancing paws took her all around the circumference of it, but dared never touch it herself. She wouldn’t want to disturb something so pure, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy its splendour. Still she danced, and whilst the hues of pink, purple, blue and red glistened from the mound of snow she saw the wind swirl amongst them in time and tune to the silence music in her head. It swirled and coiled, up, down and back as the wind danced along with her, for her imaginary world was beautiful and she didn’t want to be the one to change that… that was until from the corner of her eye she saw a pair of eyes looking back upon her.

She faltered in her step. Her paw went left when it should have gone right. She had been mid-air when her pad had slipped and her body had no choice but to tumble into the bulk of snow she had been dancing and leaping around. She landed, white on white with an ‘Oomph’. A cloud of fine snow jumped into the air as her torso hit the surface and settled back down upon her as she lay momentarily motionless, unsure of what to do next. She had only encountered strangers a few times but she had always been with her mother, who would translate for her and do most of the talking… but her mother wasn’t here right now, in fact she had no idea where she was or if she’d ever see her again and the very thought of having to meet this stranger without aid terrified her so much, she began to quiver.

<i>Run.</i> She thought to herself. It was the first lesson she had been taught as a pup, for she was so small, so petite she had little chance of holding her own in a fight and therefore she had been trained for speed, to run to save her hide and never think herself to proud to back down. She was inwardly and outwardly a coward and even as her mind told her to run, her body wouldn’t have any of it… frozen with fear she merely lay with her eyes closed in the heap of snow.

What an odd one she was.
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you come to me with scars on your wrist you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this The younger white wolf continued to dance all the way to the center of the meadow, until she was dancing around a large snow drift in the very middle of everything. Anyu could understand the joy of the smaller wolf, though she felt very little but awe at the moment. The fields were truly beautiful, and she was glad that she had placed her den in an area that was so near to such a lovely, open area where she could see the sky. While she loved small, dark spaces, especially when she was upset, Anyu also knew that the sight of the sun was enough to lift her spirits, even just a little bit. After the loss of her pack and her mate she needed all the help she could get. She also had to admit that seeing the young wolf dancing around the clearing had also lifted her spirits. It helped her to remember that there was some joy in life, even if she would only remember for a short time. Suddenly the younger wolf stumbled in mid-air and landed in the snow drift that she had been dancing around. When there was no movement from the stranger Anyu grew worried. Had she hurt herself seriously somehow? Her first instinct was to rush forward to see if the stranger was alright, but she held back. This had no doubt happened because she had startled the white wolf, and she did not want to cause any more damage than she already had. Anyu took a few reserved steps forward, watching for signs of life from the snow drift at the center of the meadow. When there was still nothing she trotted forward at a gentle pace, neither running nor walking. When she was still a couple of yards away from where the wolf had landed in the snow she stopped, considered the situation for a moment, and then called out to the stranger. ”Hey, are you alright?” she asked. ”I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m sorry.” She kept her voice as light and friendly as she possibly could. Ears pricked forward, head and tail up slightly, Anyu listened for an answer from the stranger. By now she knew that the white wolf was female; the scent was stronger around this area. When she had been watching the wolf she had known already that it had appeared younger than she was, but this wolf wasn’t a pup either. And she was white, just as Anyu was. If she hadn’t seen the younger wolf fall into the snow drift then she might not have known that she was there at all. i just came to say goodbye didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine

<blockquote>The silence stretched onwards around her, so much so that she had begun to think she had imagined seeing another set of eyes upon her. The quiet wasn’t going to end was it, it had to be her imagination. Feeling like an idiot she readied herself to get up, and that was when she heard steps upon the clearing, crunching against the solid grass and patches of snow. Someone was there, and though her hearing wasn’t as good as it should be, she couldn’t mistake the treading of paws.

Panic began to set in. Her breath caught in her though as she tried to remain as motionless as possible. Every inch of her wanted to tremble but her strong mind kept her nerve endings at bay. Her eyes were pressed so tightly she began to see spots. Unable to breath it seemed an eternity had passed by before she heard a female voice touch the air around her.

Everything went still for a moment, her heart, her breath, her want to twitch whilst she registered the voice. It wasn’t a voice she had heard before, but it was female. She was much more trusted of females so that was a good start. Slowly but surely, she opened one golden eye and glanced upwards at the sky which by this time, had almost turned to dark. There wasn’t a face looming above her. Her other eye opened and took in the sights all around her. She saw nothing. Was she imagining the voice too? She felt like she was going insane.

She took a deep breath. A large belly full and exhaled it slowly, whilst counting to ten in her head. A calming technique her mother had showed her and now she felt a little silly, because there was no one there, she remembered all the emergency procedures she had drilled into her. Typical.

After a moment she rolled onto her belly and pushed up from the snow pile. And it was only when she was standing full height that her honey eyes landed on another white wolf. The panic set in again, but her eyes took a moment to scan the other female and noted her poise, she seemed, calm, relaxed, even friendly. It hindered her rising alarm slightly, but didn’t stop her from taking a few steps backwards.

Unsure of her next move, she simply lowered herself to the floor, her belly just tickling the terrain as she lowered her head and tail into a submissive pose. Let’s face it, unable to talk she couldn’t really do much else. <i>Please don’t eat me…</i> her mind repeated, over and over again. To Silence, all strangers were scary enemies who could gobble you up. Thanks to her older siblings, who saw no harm in teaching her about the outside world, she was certain that she was about to be eaten and her bones spat out.
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you come to me with scars on your wrist you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this The sky was already beginning to grow dark. It seemed like an eternity passed since she had spoken, but still there was no answer. Afraid to move any closer, Anyu stayed where she was and watched for any sign of life from the wolf in the snow. As the moments passed by she began to wonder if the wolf was dead, or if it had ever been there at all. But she could see it in the snow, where it had landed. Surely she wasn’t hallucinating. Was that movement? Had she imagined it? For a moment Anyu swore she had seen just a small amount of movement from the wolf in the snow. She almost didn’t catch it. For a moment she doubted what she had seen, but then she heard the sound of someone taking a deep breath, slowing exhaling afterwards. So the stranger was alive after all. Anyu watched as the white wolf rolled over and then stood up. She pricked her ears forward, trying to catch a response, or even a sound, but she heard nothing. Then the wolf looked at her and Anyu recognized the panic that took control of her. No stranger to panic, Anyu instantly made her posture as unthreatening as possible, if her body was even capable of looking less threatening. She was underweight and she didn’t put much effort into holding her head and tail up. When the younger female took a few steps backward Anyu silently wondered if she was deaf, because it seemed as though her words had not reached the female. She considered taking a step forward and calling out to the female, but suddenly the wolf stopped backing up and lowered herself to the ground in a submissive pose. Shocked, Anyu stood by and blinked, not quite sure what to do now. Only as an alpha had anyone been submissive in her presence; now that she was a loner it seemed as if strangers were quicker to assert dominance over her than to submit to her. Unable to take on a dominant stance, Anyu relaxed her body and began to wag her tail. She hoped to appear unthreatening while also acknowledging the submissive pose of the other wolf. But in Anyu’s mind the two were equals and she wanted the female to see it that way as well. ”Are you okay?” she asked, her voice softer this time. ”When I saw you fall I was worried.” She took a few hesitant steps forward, her head lowered in a friendly manner and her tail still wagging. A quick look at the female told her that she was healthy, but small. Even Anyu was bigger than her, with her medium build and unhealthy status. ”You don’t have to do that you know,” she finally said in reference to the female’s submissive posture. ”I won’t hurt you.” i just came to say goodbye didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine

<blockquote>Her honey eyes remained plastered to the floor- she simply couldn’t bring herself to look the other square on at that moment in time, despite the comforting tones of her voice. She felt most ashamed of herself; she’d been caught dancing to no music, alone and then to top it off she had fallen face first into a snow pile where her intelligent brain had told her that closing her eyes tightly would make her invisible. She felt like such a child, probably because she had been acting like one. She could never explain her actions, that the world seemed alive and the music in her head wasn’t something she could make silent… to be honest she didn’t really want it to be silent. Whilst her voice was without sound she never wished her mind to be for it was as imaginative and alive as it should be and without her inner voices she was certain she’d have been mad by now… though thinking back on her actions she was pretty sure this other female had deduced she was indeed mad.

The other had expressed concern which confused Silence greatly. She hadn’t been expecting the stranger to be worried- maybe it was just courteous to show concern to simpletons. No matter how embarrassed she felt with herself, she was never rude and she finally allowed herself to nod her head. She was fine, a bruised ego but other then that fit as always!

Her last statement had her mind spinning though, she still wasn’t sure of the correct actions to take and decided her best action was to go back to basic instincts. She took a tentative sniff of the air between them, a light breeze in her favour by making the others scent drift towards her. She didn’t smell like a variety of scents, just her own and the land around her. It appeared she wasn’t a pack wolf. Maybe she was lost too? How dreadful. Maybe Silence could help her find her way back home… though judging but what a mess she had made of that for herself, she didn’t think her chances of being any sort of help were too high. Still, it was the thought that counts.

She lifted her head then, though she kept her composure small and unthreatening she wagged her tail ever so slightly and tilted her head. Finally meeting the gaze of the other female she offered a small smile and a shrug. Now came the tricky part… trying to let others knew she wasn’t rude nor shy… just broken. <i>Sigh</i>

There was no time to beat around the bush. She knew where the conversation was heading, the same place it always headed. <i>My name is blar blar. What’s yours?</i> It was better to just rip off the band aid and get it over with.

Though it may have seemed a bit odd, she began moving her lips as if she were talking. Her eyes made contact with the fellow females as she continued pretending to talk, only to stop abruptly and shake her head. <b>See, I can’t talk. And you’re probably thinking I’m a right weirdo at this moment in time but well… you did catch me dancing by myself so this honestly can’t get any more embarrassing for me.</b> her mind mused.
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you come to me with scars on your wrist you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this With the wolf no longer laying in the snow pile, Anyu could see that there were no visible injuries. The smaller female appeared fine. In fact, she confirmed Anyu's conclusion when she nodded her head in response. Certain that the female had suffered no injuries, Anyu let her body relax even more. Slowly she lowered her haunches to the ground until she was sitting comfortably. Anyu listened, waiting for some kind of response from the younger wolf. Clearly she wasn't deaf; she had answered the question with a nod. Still, she wasn't speaking. It didn't click in Anyu's head that she might not be able to speak. Instead, she thought that the female was shy. In her four years of life Anyu had never met a mute wolf before. Then the moment Anyu had been waiting for began. The female began to move her lips, clearly preparing to talk. Anyu pricked her ears to catch the words, but none came. As the female moved her mouth as though she was talking, no sound came out. Perplexed, she watched the wolf closely, her eyes narrowed in confusion and her head tilted. Suddenly, the female stopped and shook her head. Only then did Anyu understand what she was trying to say. So, this female couldn't talk; she was a mute. Anyu straightened her head, her eyes widened in realization. ”You can't talk?” she asked, partly to voice her own thoughts and partly for confirmation for the younger wolf.This was interesting. How was she supposed to communicate with a wolf that couldn't speak? Clearly the female had her own ways of communication, but Anyu wasn't sure how to react to all of this. She felt stupid, being so confused by such a simple situation. ”Well,” she said finally, ”this is interesting. I feel like an idiot.” i just came to say goodbye didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine

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She was trying her best to keep still whilst she gave the other time to analyze her strange activity, unsure of what her conclusion was going to be. Would she laugh? Not understand? Just walk away? All of those reactions had happened to her before and she had no idea which way it was going to swing this time. She hoped she’d understand, hoped she would look past the defect that she was for she seemed kind and reminded her a little of her mother, in looks and temperament. She wasn’t looking for a replacement, no one would ever replace her mother, but it would be nice to talk to someone without being on edge.

<i>You can’t talk?</i> hit her silky lobes. It took her a moment to lift her gaze and tilt her head at the other. She had understood the message? And now she felt foolish. Silence suddenly felt guilty, she hadn’t meant to make the other feel silly. It wasn’t exactly a common problem, in fact she’d never heard or met another like herself so this lovely girl couldn’t feel that way. She nodded and smiled, a big toothy grin which illuminated her delicate face. She understood, and she wasn’t judging so far. This was progress.

Still, how to make her feel better. She pondered on it for a moment before she lifted a paw and lifted it to point at Anyu, following this she shook her head. <b>You’re not an idiot.</b> she said to herself. She supposed she’d have to find out this girls name, she might not be able to say it but it would be nice to put a name to her face. Another tilt of her head followed as she tried to mouth the word <i>Name</i>, with any luck the curious gesture and the word would be enough to make sense. Whilst she couldn’t speak she knew the movements her mouth should make, her mother and she could have long conversations that way.
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you come to me with scars on your wrist you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this She had been right! The female couldn't talk. And it seemed that she was glad she had gotten the message. It was difficult for her to educe a smile onto her face. After all of the sadness she had experienced it felt unnatural to smile, and when she did finally manage one it didn't touch her eyes. But she was glad that the female was happy. In fact, her tail even wagged one or twice in a friendly gesture. The smile soon faded from her face as she concentrated on what the female was trying to tell her next. Unfortunately, she didn't understand why the younger female was pointing her paw at her and shaking her head. The shaking means no, surely, she thought, but why is she pointing at me? What am I not? Confusion colored her eyes, but she didn't question the wolf for now she was making new gestures. Anyu tried to catch on and keep up, but she wasn't sure she would understand everything right away. Her first message had been obvious enough, but Anyu had never experienced this type of conversation before. It would take some time for her t grow accustomed to it. The female appeared to try to say something, but of course no sound came out. Tilting her head in confusion, Anyu tried to make out what she was saying, but she wasn't sure she had quite caught what she had done with her mouth. She stared apologetically at the female, clearly confused. “I'm sorry,” she offered. “I'm not used to this yet. It might take me some time to understand.” She offered a wry smile at the female. “I feel like an idiot because I thought you were deaf when you didn't respond. And now I feel silly because I'm so slow at understanding you!” She smiled, this time quite genuinely even though it was still a little forced. “Can you do that again, with your mouth? Maybe if I see it again I can understand what you were trying to say.” i just came to say goodbye didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine