Bramble Falls I wanna be [innocent]

OOC// I went with Bramble Falls since Anyu and a couple others made a kill here recently. Gives her a reason to stick around, and it's close enough to SR you come to me with scars on your wrist you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this Clear — Current Temperature: 54° F/12° C Midday and it was nice and warm compared to nighttime temperatures. It was nice for her, with her thinner winter coat and white fur. The sun just glanced off of the white - the opposite of what it did with black fur - and she didn't soak up much of the heat. That's why the temperature was nice for her, since she tended to have more trouble keeping warm than some other wolves. The sun was high in the sky and there wasn't a cloud in sight. It was a beautiful day; the light blue of the sky was exquisite and she wished that she had eyes that color. She wished she could fly, soaring above the treetops and simply melt into the sky, where she would finally be free from all of the burdens of life. Burdens. She had far too many of those. First her father tried to kill her, then her sister had died. She had to leave her family. And when she finally found a new family it was stolen from her by fire. For a while after that she had Cronos, her mate, but he, too, had been lost to her in a devastating fire. Would everything be taken away from her? Was it worth forming attachments again and risk losing it all? Absentmindedly, Anyu picked a few stray pieces of meat from the bone of the deer that she held in her paws. She was well-fed for the time being, but what was left of the kill, several days old already, would not last forever. She was still thin and she would be until she was eating regularly again. Deep in her heart she knew that she needed a family; someone to rely on when she needed help. It was just a frightening thought, to put herself at risk like that. With a sigh she abandoned the bone and pushed herself to her feet. She wasn't hungry, but she was lonely. Kano and Kashi had left; they had other agendas. So here she was, alone with the leftovers of their kill. Lonely. Her pace as she pushed her way through the trees towards the falls was slow and forced. She didn't want to walk and she didn't want to live anymore. Why was she even trying? The scars on the inside of her right foreleg pushed their way into the forefront of her mind even though she didn't want to think about them. At last she came to a stop, coming to rest in a small open space. She could hear the rumbling sound of the falls even though she couldn't see the water as it cascaded from the cliff above. She couldn't even see the shallow pool where the water collected before moving downstream. In fact, she wasn't even looking at the area surrounding her. Though she was out in the open, she had laid down on the forest floor and was staring at the scars on her leg, lost deep in her thoughts. i just came to say goodbye didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine

Crisscrossing through the Sacred Grove and into the Wildwood was a plethora of scents belonging to different wolves, though it was uncommon for Indru to be able to pick out one he knew—the recent influx of lone wolves during winter had not gone unmissed by the hardened leader. While it had only caused him to increase the vigilance of his borders (something which he had done since his return) it had also been behind his more frequent scouting trips beyond them too. It felt unwise to be blind to the land beyond the safety of the territory the River wolves called home and with his children old enough to explore he would not let them do so without knowing, and without making his presence known, in the lands he had been born in.

By the time midday struck his paws had carried him towards the Bramble falls, and he could recount easily and with fond memories many a time spent here as a puppy. Like he expected there was a overwhelming mixture of scents but that was nothing new—and even the slightly fresher scent of a female gave him no cause to pause yet. Most of them belonged to lone wolves, which was no surprise seeing as it was an unclaimed area, but just as he was about to break through a short burst of cover he could see that the fresh scent of the female did not belong to a wolf that had just passed through but one who was still here. Hello, he called, approaching slightly just so that he was not shrouded by the trees in an attempt to avoid spooking her, I'm Indru Tainn, I lead a pack nearby. Are you okay? He was larger than the white female but that was something he was used too and while it seemed unlikely she was hurt (he could smell no blood or slow healing injuries) he could not help but ask. They were similar in age and it only made him more curious as to her status as a lone wolf, she was bound to know the dangers and the risks, especially in winter, and he couldn't help but wonder what had caused her to be alone throughout the harshiest seasons.

What's your name? His tone was soft and though his posture was alert and ready it was far from hostile. He held his tail level with his spine—a gesture that showed he was neither taking a dominant or submissive posture to the female and his ears were perked forward in his curiosity as he waited.

Let's not let our anger get us lost And the need to be right comes with way too high a cost While normally she tried to keep alert and stayed away from strangers or approached them with caution, Anyu hardly flinched when she noticed someone approaching her. Perhaps there was a part of her that wanted to be thrown into some kind of a dangerous situation so that she could really feel something again, and by ignoring a wolf that could be a possible threat, she could achieve just that. Within moments she had decided that this wolf wasn't going to be a threat. At the very least, he wasn't acting as if he were a threat. In fact, it seemed like he was doing his best to appear as someone who wasn't a threat. He even bothered to stay out in the open where she could see him. However, her entire world had been swallowed up by the scars on her leg and she had barely glanced up to look at him when he said hello. The only sign she showed of having heard him was a quick twitch of her ears as she moved them forward to listen to him. “I'm fine,” she said, not bothering to disguise her voice to make it sound as if she were telling the truth. Her voice sounded strained and weak from both emotional and physical trials. While she was distracted, she did hear his introduction and her ears pricked forward a little further. She glanced up at him again for a moment. Indru Tainn. Leader of a pack. So, at long last she had come into contact with a pack wolf, and a leader no less. A small amount of interest showed on her face, but there was a part of her that wanted to run the opposite direction as soon as possible. If she let herself get attached to a pack then she would just be setting herself up to get hurt again. Anyu didn't look all the way up at the larger male until he asked for her name. Still laying on the ground, she lifted her head and looked at him, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. He was larger than her, but that was no surprise. He was a male, for one, and she was only of medium size anyways, though she wasn't that far away from being large. “I'm Anyu,” she replied at last. Normally she might have asked him what he wanted or why he was bothering her, but she was only reacting to things today. She didn't have the drive to challenge him. That's when love turns night-time into day That's when loneliness goes away, That's why you gotta be strong tonight 'Cause only love can build us a bridge of light

Curiosity may have certainly killed the cat but luckily for Indru he was a wolf and so even though he approached the female at her clearly not quite truthful lie, he made sure to keep a easy distance between them, to calm her as much as protect himself. Though at first she seemingly had little interested in him he noticed at mention of his status as a leader her expression soon changed to one of curiosity also, however how he should take that he was not sure. Hello Anyu, he responded softly once she had offered her name, noting that she avoided meeting his eyes, relaxing him slightly.

After a pause Indru glanced over the female, trying to assess any damage and what could cause her rather despondent behaviour. A life of a lone wolf was hard and not many could stand it for a prolonged period—it was not surprisingly she was either ill or injured. What's wrong, Anyu? You don't seem like you're feeling to good. Though he did not wish to pry he could not help trying to give the female assistance if she required it, which, at the moment, she clearly did. From the lack of any dominant scents on her fur he could see she had been a lone wolf a while and Indru couldn't help but wonder why certain wolves put themselves through it over the winter period, when their survival rate dropped significantly. Never the less, he'd try his best if she let him.

you come to me with scars on your wrist you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this Her instincts told her to get up; to stand and be ready to protect herself if she needed to. Every time she thought to herself, I'm going to get up in 3, 2, 1... she just couldn't force herself to do it. For the time being that was not a problem. Indru, who was larger than her and would have easily won in a fight anyways, was not attacking her. If anything, he was being kind, something that she did not come across too often. Anyu was still underweight, but at least she wasn't hungry now so her stomach wasn't rumbling as it usually did. She feared the worst this winter. If she could not find enough food then she knew she would die, but there was no other option other than to try her hardest to survive. This male, with his pack, was probably willing to take her in as a member and then she would have steady meals and a family, but she wasn't sure that she could force herself to join a pack, or how long she would be able to stay for if she did join one. There was too much risk after all that had happened to her. “I'm not injured or sick, if that's what you're asking,” she said dully, dismissing his question as if it were nothing while giving him a sidelong glance. What else was she supposed to do? Tell him that she was lonely, that she was hurting inside, in a place where no one could see? That should would rather be dead right now? She didn't want anyone worrying over those things for her. She had to handle them herself. Yes, she was hurting and there was something wrong, but he would just think there was something wrong with her if he knew what was going on with her mind. She kept her gaze away from him, focusing on the ground between her two front paws. “I led a pack once, you know. Like you,” she said, voice full of longing. “I had a mate and friends. I wasn't always alone.” Her voice cracked at the end, fading out a bit as she tried to fight back all of the emotions she felt when the topic of her pack came up. How she wanted that more than anything. But it was so far out of her reach and she didn't have the energy to reach any farther. How could she ever have a family again if she was so afraid of getting hurt like she had the last time? i just came to say goodbye didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine

Hey Anyu, just realised I forgot to do the avatars for you, I will try to get to them today, my apolgies it's been hectic my end. Also, you have a broken or extra < /div > tag in your table (probs at the bottom of your code) could you see if you could remove it? It's just break the board a little. ^_^

Okay, the leader answered, uncertainty in his voice as he continued to watch her. It wasn't that he believed she was lying, its just that she didn't seem okay—but then again, if she didn't want the help he wasn't going to force it either. Indru had never experience being a true lone wolf before, he had been in similar situations when it was beyond his control, but they were neither very long experiences or else he wasn't completely alone. It felt foreign and alien to him, unnatural, for another to prolong staying in such a dangerous, lonely life style when they had means to change it.

Though she didn't keep eye contact with him she continued to talk and he listened with curiosity, finding the female an enigma at the moment. I never suspected you were, he answered carefully after she had stopped. If she had been alone her whole life she'd most likely be dead after all. What's stopping you joining a pack again? To have safety, security and companionship? His questions were asked out of a wish to help her and for his own curiosity so there was no patronizing or accusatory tone in his voice as he waited for her to answer. Most packs would accept this female he would think, at the moment he could see no reason why he wouldn't but with his pups still so young he wouldn't just let anyone join, they would have to pull their weight with pups to look after. Still, if this female had led before she would surely understand a pack worked that way and would be a valuable member.

OOC// Don't worry too much about the avatars. Also, I tried to fix the table (there were a couple of < /div> tags missing), but there aren't any problems showing up on my computer so I can't tell if it's fixed or not. Also, sorry for all the talking she did e.e she wanted to talk xD you come to me with scars on your wrist you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this “I'm sorry,” she offered, glancing up at him apologetically for a moment. “I am fine physically speaking, really. I don't think you can help with my problems. They're all in my head.” By saying that she meant that there probably wasn't anything he could do in that moment to help. He was a stranger after all, and he didn't need to get himself involved in the emotional struggles of another wolf, especially when he had a pack to take care of. In some ways she envied him; once she had been in his position, leading a pack. She had been happy and surrounded by those she loved. Slowly, Anyu began to sit up, pushing her body up with her front legs until she was leaning back on her haunches. Her posture said that she was claiming no dominance here, but nor was she submitting to the leader before her. He had approached her, and as he was not on his lands she decided that submitting herself to him was not necessary at this point. “I had to leave my first pack when my father tried to kill me,” she stated without any hesitation. “I lost everything; friends, family, love. Somehow I found a place of my own and a mate and I started a “Speaking.”pack. I never had pups, but we still started a family.” Sadness clouded her eyes and she paused, turning her head away for a moment. “My first mate was taken from me, my pack was taken from me later on by fire.” Clearly this was difficult for her to talk about. Anyu took several deep breaths before she was capable of continuing. A small part of her felt guilty for telling all of this to a perfect stranger. The last time she had done that she had upset the stranger and felt like an idiot for telling him anything. Clearly even a small part of her story was a burden. But Indru had asked, and so she would tell. "Eventually I reunited with my second mate,” she started again, her voice weak. “We were going to start a family. And then I was separated from him by another fire.” As she finished that part of her speech she lowered her head and looked to the ground. “I gave up hope after that.” This was just the basic story. Of course many other things had happened to her. But this was part of the answer to his question. “That,” she proclaimed, looking up and trying to make eye contact, “is what stops me from joining a pack again. It will only be torn away from me, time and time again. I belong no where.” There was a fire in her eyes, but not the fire of determination. It was the fire of being certain of something - so certain that it would take something powerful to change it. But her heart ached as she said those words, because she wanted a family again. More than anything she wanted a mate - not to have pups, but to have by her side to support her. She wanted love, but it was something she would never find, just as she would never be able to trust the world enough to let her be a part of a pack again. i just came to say goodbye didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine

Hmm, fixed in all but your most recent table I believe. Don't forget to change your previous table code if you haven't yet. ^_^ And okay - would you still like me to do the other avatars or not now? :) And talking's fine!

At her apology, and then admission, Indru nodded his head in response a sign that he both accepted and listened to what she said. I understand, he smiled slightly, a slight bitter twinge to it with how well he understood her, and these problems are often the hardest to fix. Internal struggles had always been the most difficult for him to overcome anyway, they took often more strength and time than anything physical would. The trick is to remember that everything will get better in time, he smiled at her more warmly, however hard it is now. It was true advice that came from the heart at least—for Indru it had proven true.

As she spoke he listened and made no interruptions, hoping that her getting it off her chest and maybe passing the burden a little would help at least. It was a story familiar to him, there were similarities with his own life that he heard in the females story. Fire, he began, once she had finished, shaking his head as he did so. I've had my own experience with it—and not too different from your own. I was born here, in Relic Lore, and my parents led a pack in the Wildwood, the forest surrounding us now. Indru turned his head and flicked it roughly in the direction of the forest, in case the shewolf was not quite familiar with Relic Lore yet. I was three when the fire hit and not only did it tear away our home but our family too, as my parents, the leaders, perished in that fire. They had cubs that at the time were barely 2 months old and I had to form a new pack, further south of our birth home, near a swift river which is where I reside today. While the story certainly wasn't a new one, it was still raw to Indru and the sorrow in his voice was clear

After he had finished Indru paused and let a comfortable silence hang, watching Anyu in front of him carefully. I understand it hurts, and your worries, but staying alone won't help you either. A small, sympathetic smile curled the very tips of his muzzle as he waited for her to talk again hoping that his words were at least able to help her in some way.

ooc// I am SOOOOOOOO sorry for the month-long wait. Things have been so crazy lately that I've found it harder to reply to this thread. My apologies.

you come to me with scars on your wrist you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this Anyu smiled, glad that he was kind enough to give her advice, but not quite believing it. Things had gotten better for her occasionally, before they would get worse again and then everything would be taken away from her. “I suppose things might get better, but I'm not sure that I want to take the risk and hope that they will.” Hope had often hurt her more than anything, she had found, and she was afraid to hope again as much as she was afraid to love again. She wasn't sure that she would ever be able to do either of those again. Sadness filled her eyes as Indru recounted the story of his parents' demise. Fire truly was a destructive force, but it was nature's way of balancing nature. Fire turned old forests into new forests and brought new life to the land. It was a necessary part in the life of a forest. She knew that, but it did not mean that she was any less hurt by what fire had caused her. “I'm sorry for your loss,” she said softly, the only way that she could express her understanding at the moment. She wasn't sure what else to say to him. A sigh passed through her lips. She had heard this once or twice before. Perhaps there were those that thought being alone would only hurt her more, but she disagreed. She was still trying to pull herself together and work through her loss. She needed to heal if she was ever going to return to a normal lifestyle again, and she wasn't sure that she would be able to heal with other wolves around her. She was still trying to come to terms with the fact that Cronos was gone forever, and she needed to be alone to understand that. But there was the matter of Kashi and Kano, wolves that she had quickly grown to care about. Especially the little Kashi, who felt much like a son to her. She wanted to find him again, someday. Perhaps he would be the one that would help her heal. “For now, loneliness is how I cope with what I lost,” she offered to counter his statement. “Before I can move on to a new family and a new life, I have to accept that my old family and my mate are gone, and that they aren't coming back. Being alone has so far seemed to work the best for me, even if it is working slowly.” i just came to say goodbye didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine

Fading this to black.

The female listened to Indru speak about his family, something which he hadn't done for a while now, and as he was talking he forgot about the worries of the world around him temporarily. It felt therapeutic in a while to discuss something so damaging at the time with a stranger, Indru felt a need to take a more clinical approach in his story telling (not wishing to look weak in face of a stranger either) and discussing it helped him sort through his thoughts in relation to it. The fire had required him to grow up—quickly—and take responsibility for many things he had been unprepared for, namely cubs which at the time had seemed so far away for Indru. But in a way, it had prepared him too, for his own cubs at the very least and also for how much difficulty he would have to face in the future.

It seemed though that the female was not as willing to follow his advice as she was to listen and share stories, and as sad as he felt for her, he respected her decision. Though Indru couldn't help but wonder how being alone would help her, leaving her with her only her thoughts for company instead of moving on and building new bonds, but he hoped that eventually she would join a pack again. I am afraid, Anyu, I must leave, he tone was soft but Indru rose to his feet quickly, keen to get home with the fire still fresh on his mind, and even more keen to seek out Triell who could have so easily have perished in the flames if not for his parents. I hope you are able to feel less troubled in the future, the honesty of his words were clear and he nodded her a farewell as he returned and headed back towards Swift River.