"Aye.. pups seem to grow far too fast at times.." Vlarindara felt a smile curving her lips, lowering her head with a soft chuckle. "I'm glad they've fared better than those of Grizzly Hollow." A nearly inaudible whine trickled from her lips as her ears slid back to rest against her skull a moment. Self loathing was the only emotion she felt like.. feeling anymore these days... A hatred for what she'd done. It was short-lived, however, as the white female lifted her head to watch him.
It would seem the ivory she-wolf had experience with whelps – whether she had bore her own or had helped to raise an old pack’s young it was hard to say, yet it was obvious she was fond of them. The next words to slip past her lips regarding the Hollow pups drew his own ears back. The near unaudible whine that was released from the ivory lady did little to bring his sympathy to her, but his thoughts instantly recalled Jaysyek and the news he had to deliver to her with Elettra.
The Hollow had taken quite the hit the past year.. both with death and abandonment. “If you cared so much for their well-being, why would you leave the pack one number shorter to try to raise them?” The words could have been considered cruel, and his tone had even become colder, but it was nothing that was not merited. She had left a pack, and it had been one less member they had to feed and look after the young population they had taken on.
The female sighed, listening to his words, flinching as if each had hit her physically. She waited until he was finished before lowering her head, the ears with them to her neck. "I was.. selfish. When I left... The pack was still strong - still full of life and enough strength that... I hoped things would fare well." Vlarindara sighed and shook her head, trying to force herself to come to terms with it. "There's no excuse for my actions. Selfish desires spurred my choice- and brought ruin on the pack." And she hated herself for it.
His words had been harsh, but he hadn’t expected the reaction he received from the pale lady. Her outward flinch stirred a curious gaze from him, but Ruiko reacted with no more compassion than a wild tiger would to a dorm mouse. While his feelings were far from hurt from her disappearance, it had left him slightly miffed.
“I can’t imagine you can take all of the credit for their downfall,” he remarked dryly, his shoulders lifting in a stoical shrug. “And I wouldn’t describe the Hollow in ruin. Jaysyek and Elettra seem more than capable.” And while the latter might have been slightly crazy, Ruiko held both women in high regard; a rare feat for him to do so to any wolf who was not his family or pack.
A frown marred her features before she adjusted nervously, focusing on the ground between her paws. "They blame me- what reason do I have not to blame myself?" She didn't know how Elettra felt about her - but Vlarindara surely knew how Jaysyek felt.. and that the leader of the Hollow blamed her for just about everything.. and she deserved all the blame that fell upon her shoulders. In her eyes anyway.
The pale dove’s shoulders seemed to hang heavily – figuratively speaking. However, Ruiko had never been one to tolerate much of a pity party, and his gaze swept across the broken female with mild disinterest; at one point he had considered her his equal. A being capable of holding herself high and leading a pack by his side. The she-wolf before him now only seemed to wallow in her own self-pity, and the tawny male was silently thankful they had not created a pack together. In the end, it seemed it had been a blessing in disguise.
Still, that did not mean his feelings toward the rogue were unfriendly, and with a shrug, the male lifted himself to his paws, his large figure bowing down in a leisurely stretch. “It’s strange that you still care what their judgments or thoughts are of you – you were the one to leave them, after all. I’d have thought such an action would have meant you cared little to what their perception of you was.” There was a small pause in his words, his bright eyes resting upon the female’s scarred features.
"At one time, I would have thought the same...But my reasoning for leaving was purely selfish - though ..it didn't mean I cared about them any less.." In fact, she'd left - in her mind - partially because she HADN'T wanted to hurt the pack.. Had she lived longer under GrizzlyHollow rule, Vlarindara felt she would have eventually challenged Jaysyek for her rank - after having gone through the others above her.. And she hadn't wanted to hurt any of the wolves in the pack in that way. After all - tearing Jaysyek from her post would harm the pack in a way that even Borden and her own departure hadn't. Not that she would have won the challenge - but Vlarindara had had..confidence in herself at the time.
In truth, the conversation between he and the pale she-wolf was becoming far deeper than he wanted. Her matters and feelings meant little to him; not in the sense that he held a grudge to the female, but only in the sense that he knew her very little. Her words only seemed to contradict with herself, and Ruiko was curious as to if she had cared so much, then why had she left? He cared a great deal for Swift River, but he had left initially to start a life of his own. He never regretted the decision, but nor did he simply vanish.
The state of the entire drama between the she-wolf before him and Grizzly Hollow was of little concern to him. Jaysyek and Elettra ran the pack the best they could from what he could see, and the hit they had taken had been tragic. Still, nothing could be reversed now, and while it seemed Vlarindara was moping in a puddle of guilt, there was truly nothing that could be fixed now.
Rather then delve further into the she-wolf’s reasonings, Ruiko instead offered a flat nod. Pulling himself up straighter, the regal male gave a cat-like stretch for one swift moment before shaking his large figure; bits of grass and twigs flying from his fur. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts then,” he offered, giving a light nod before his body turned, his paws beginning to lead him away from the girl he had almost mistakenly taken as a mate. “Perhaps it’s in your best interest to find a new home, Vlar,” he called over his shoulder, a small smirk just barely gracing his tainted muzzle. “You look like shit.”
She sighed softly, watching him turn to leave before lowering her head with a hoarse chuckle at his comment of finding a home. "If only it were that simple." As the large male turned to leave, Vlarindara did the same, her form drifting through the snow, her eyes, though only one worked focusing on the path ahead of her. With a stomach pinched in hunger - she had to find something to eat before bedding down for the night. Though in this weather, that something was far more likely to be bark stripped off a tree.. Just something to give her stomach to end its pains.. To allow her to sleep.
{EXit? 8D -Loved the thread, Rach.. :3}
Sex: Female