Sex: FemaleThe day was still cool despite the weather warming overall. Winter was slowly releasing its grip upon the world as new life began to take hold. Budding leaves on branches, bright green new grass poking through small patches of snow, and multiple scents of pregnancy on the air all pointed to the beginning of spring. It was exciting for the older woman and brought back fond memories. Watching numerous sets of pups grow up over the years, including her own three is probably come to be her favorite part of the year. However, new beginnings brought change and change could be difficult to handle. For these reasons the inky mother sought out her youngest son. Picking up his scent easily Moonshadow weaved through the terrain until his equally inky form came into view. She let out a woof as her tail wagged behind her and a smile crossed her maw.
Nash was by the water's edge not far from the den they'd chosen when he heard his mother's greeting bark. His ears twitched toward where the sound came from, but he didn't look away from the water. For a moment he thought about pretending he hadn't heard her and wandering away, but Aquene's advice wafted through his head and with a small sigh he turned to smile unconvincingly at his mother. "Hey mama," he said quietly as she approached.
He looked back out over the water and wondered where Chan was and if he was coming home. It didn't matter what his older brother had said; anything could happen out there to change plans. He didn't even want to think about what else could happen to a wolf on his own. Chan was clearly competent - if Nash could survive nearly two years on his own, Chan would be fine on a scouting mission.
Her youngest son stood near the edge of the lake and instantly the mother knew something was up. Only a flick of his ears to her bark before be reluctantly turned to greet her. Silver tipped audits laid flat upon her head as her smile faded. Her heart lurched, she should have sought him out sooner. Clearly he wasn't faring well and she felt guilty. Having been gone all that time she still couldnt be there for her baby.
A quiet whine came from her as Moon slowed her approach. The sadness and guilt was clearly in her gaze but luckily Nash turned back to the water. "Hi baby" she replied gently moving to his side. She nuzzled his cheek before letting the bridge of her muzzle come to a rest under his jaw. She lifted ever so slightly in hopes that physically lifting him up would aid in lifting his spirits. She stood still like this for a few moments then moved her head. She didnt move away from him but instead repositioned herself so she could meet his emerald gaze. "How ya doin' love?" The onyx woman asked concern clearly in her voice. She knew the darkness all too well. She wasnt about to let one of her children fall victim to it. Though if only she knew not one but at least two had already done so.
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He sighed and leaned into her slightly as she asked how he was doing. He had to think about his answer. Did he dare try to lie to her, or should he tell her the real reason he was unhappy?
He settled for most of the truth. "I'm worried about Chan," he finally said.
Having known there was a rift between her two boys she felt she should have sought out the younger of the two sooner. She had a sneaking suspicion that Nash's sorrow had something to do with his older brother's departure. These were confirmed when he admitted he was worried about the older Eastfall child. The mother's silver dusted ears laid back upon her skull as she studied his features. She wanted to tell him that Chan would be okay and to not worry but she also didnt want him to feel as if she was dismissing his feelings. "Why are ya worried love?" She asked wanting to know more about the root of his feelings that way she could validate them and hopefully help dissolve some of them.
Nash sighed heavily and looked at his paws. It was hard to quiet all the things swirling around inside of him. What could he say? That he was worried he had done something to drive his brother, her oldest son, away from them? That Chan had decided to abandon him, again? How could he explain to his mother that he was afraid of being left alone, afraid that one day he would wake up and everyone would be gone again?
He wasn't sure he could survive it again.
"I don't want him to get hurt," he said, because it was the truth. "I want him to come home."
The younger brother admitted that he didnt want his older kin to get hurt and just wanted him to come home. The inky mother's lips pulled at a slight and sad understanding smile. "He'll be alright love. Ya brother is gonna be fine, and he'll be back before we know it." She offered in attempts to not only comfort him but herself as well. The first time the first born Eastfall had wandered away he ended up falling off a small cliff and getting seriously injured. But he had recovered and still made his way home. So Moon knew Chan was strong and resilient and determined. She knew he would be okay not only because of these qualities but with all his experience over the years. She knew he was savvy but also knew that Nash may not know that, but she would try her best to help him understand.
His father had been strong. His father had been a guardian, had spent most of his life fighting and protecting his family, whether it be this family or the one he'd had away from here. He didn't know much about that time, but he knew it was before he'd met his mother. He knew he'd spent a lot of time fighting coyotes. Tagg had been strong, and capable, and known their territory well. He'd raised two litters of pups. He'd protected them. And still he had died at the whims of the land, the fickle fancy of nature. Betrayed by the very ground he walked on.
Nash's ears flicked. "But how can you know?" he asked petulantly.
Nash questioned how she knew exactly. This made the mother pause for a second. Was it her maternal instincts? Was it her hope that everything would turn out for the best? Or possibly simply her assumption that because he had returned unharmed so many times before? The inky woman supposed it was a mixture of all three. Mercury orbs looked into emerald counterparts, a fond sadness swelled up in her. Looking into his eyes was like looking into his fathers. She missed Tagg terribly and wished he could help her. "Ya have to have faith my love." She explained "I know its hard to not worry. Yer brother is more than capable of taking care of himself. And I just know in my heart he'll come back...because its home." She knew Chan would have told her if he had no intention on returning. She had a hard enough time with him going on a small trip. She has no idea how she'd handle if he said he wouldn't come home.
Nash couldn't bear to see the emotion in his mother's eyes, and so he turned away again, ashamed for having put it there. She was probably worrying too, and had her own methods of dealing with it. He didn't have that - not anymore. He'd always just buried everything, but Aquene had been right. He couldn't keep doing that. He couldn't remember how he'd done that, and he had no quest to find his family to help him do so.
Maybe if he had an official job. He should talk to Aleister.
But that was another matter.
Nash sank to his belly with a deep sigh as his mother spoke. "You're probably right," he said, "but that doesn't help me feel any better."
He looked back up at her, ears drooping back. "I don't know how to cope anymore. Before I just buried it beneath the need to find you, but now I can't. Aquene said I need to face it, but I just... I don't know how."