Lost Lake exonerate my blind eye

Nash found himself smiling, if only a little, at Aquene. Her voice was soothing, he decided, and she was sweet. A good addition to the pack, not that he'd ever doubted Aleister's ability. The Vuesain had never given him reason to think he'd be anything but an excellent leader, and now he was.

"When my family disappeared, and I was alone, I kept telling myself it was going to be okay. I pushed myself on, looking for them. I never faltered. I kept myself in good spirits and ignored anything that might drag me down. And, in the end, they came home. Chan and mom and Aleister... they all came back. My faith paid off." He sighed wistfully. "I don't... I don't know how to cope with feeling like this. I can't... bury it. It won't go away."

He scuffed a paw in the dirt, thinking. What did he always do when he wanted to bury something nasty? He thought about things he was grateful for, thought about things he was looking forward to. While he'd been alone, he always looked forward to finding his family. He looked forward to his visits home, and when nobody was there he talked to his dad's grave to ease his loneliness. When he missed Staryn, he focused on having his mom and brother back. He couldn't find anything now that was strong enough to bury Chan's departure. All the old things were already there, still covering what they'd buried to begin with. He was running out of ideas.

But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

She listened carefully to his plight, and she found herself familiar with these kinds of feelings. She had felt the same way after her mother had passed. Her family had tried to reach her, but ultimately they had failed… perhaps she could succeed where they hadn’t? She had no idea, and she wasn’t even sure that she had the right to try… but she was going to do it anyway. She offered a sympathetic smile. “You can’t bury it… burying it will make it grow and fester like a seed in the spring.” It was a little poetic but it proved a point.

You couldn’t just shut out the pain. It was more complicated than that. “You need to embrace it. You need to take it into your paws, stem and all… it’s the only way you’ll really overcome the feelings. It took me far too long to figure that out for myself.” She admitted softly. “Embracing it will hurt… it will intensify everything, and it might make you feel worse, especially at first… but with time, it will get better, and it will get easier.” She tried to assure him. “Besides, you’re not alone. You have me. I’m always here to talk if you need it.”

Nash sat quietly, looking at his paws white Aquene spoke, heart sinking. He'd never learned any of this stuff, never learned how to face things he didn't want to face. Even his father's death, the first terrible thing to happen to him and at the time the worst, was something he was still processing. Was talking to him when he visited not the right way to do it?

He didn't want this feeling to get worse. He didn't want it to grow and fill him, like she was saying.

But how do I... How do I deal with it if it feels {i}worse?[/i] he thought meekly. I don't want to deal with it {i}now.[/i]

He sighed, then smiled at her last comment. Aquene was very nice, he decided. Of course she was, if she was a member of the Cove. "Thank you," he said, and he meant it. Now that he thought about it, he did feel a little better, having talked about it, and knowing he had a friend. "Thank you for listening to me. I'll let you finish your meal in peace. I'm usually around, so if you ever want someone to talk to or just hang out with, I'm here." He liked Aquene, and wanted to be close with his packmates anyway.

He rose to his feet. "Let me know if you need anything," he added before dipping his head respectfully and heading towards the border to scout for hunting. Might as well get some work done if he's going to be brooding.