Fallen Tree Cove Fill the coffins in my head

This is AW for ONE SC wolf please, not one of this year's pups as this is in FTC across the lake. Takes place early evening 6/26.

Nash sat beside his parents' combined grave, staring at the rocks that concealed them, and seeing nothing. His mind buzzed, filled with haze like fog over the water.

He'd come out here to be alone, perhaps to talk to his parents like he'd talked to his dad all the times he'd visited over the years.

Years.

It felt like just yesterday and like an eternity at the same time. Years since he'd returned home. Ages since he'd left. Mere moments since he'd covered his father's broken body. A lifetime since he dug a hole for his mother and watched her lie in it.

Everything had gone so wrong.

Now that he was here he couldn't find words. What was the point? They weren't actually here, just their remains. He hadn't been to visit his dad in forever - maybe because he wasn't lonely anymore. He had his wife and his children and-

"I'm trying to be strong," he finally said, voice wrecked. He trembled.

Tomorrow they would be leaving. The pups were old enough to make the trek as long as they went slowly, and he didn't want to risk anything bad happening to them in this cursed place. The journey would be dangerous, but if they stuck together, maybe... maybe they could make it somewhere safer. Somewhere they could finally find some peace.

He needed to keep being strong. Sari's loss had... it had broken Aquene. The woman he loved was gone and it killed Nash to know he was useless. She would know what to do, were their roles reversed... she could have helped him. He wanted to help her, he just didn't know how... didn't know if he could help.

"I'm so tired of being strong," he whispered, nearly a whimper.

There was still so much work to do. He had to lead his pack, had to provide them the courage and motivation he lacked. He had to show them they could still be strong... just somewhere else. He needed to do his job. He needed to be a leader. He needed to be a father. He needed...

He needed a break. Just a moment to himself to break down where nobody else could see him, where nobody would know how weak he truly was. How fragile. How worthless. And then tomorrow, when they needed to leave, he could be strong again.

Here, where his parents rested, Nash hunched over and let the sobs consume him. He sank to his belly, nose pressed between his paws, and fell apart.

WHEN THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO BURN

Magg had taken the twins to visit with grandma @Aquene and their age-mate aunt, as well as asked @Matos to watch over them all. Only then did she ever feel comfortable taking time to herself; there had certainly never been a time she'd left her children unattended, not even for a second, even on their best-behaved days. She'd opted for a walk rather than anything truly constructive, and happened upon her father's scent trail leading outside of the pack. The same way most took when they visited that old territory. With everything happening, Magg made the choice to follow. It was the first time she'd left the pack's bounds in months. She could hear him from a distance, and it tugged at her heart. Still, she did not rush. Magg approached calmly, and settled in at Nash's side without a word, directly next to him so that her side leaned flush against his. Even she could recognize how much her dad was going through, what all of this had to be doing to him inside. Even worse, he was actually a good parent; it wasn't just him and his own tragedies he had to shoulder, unlike his most-selfish eldest daughter.

YOU HAVE TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE

(This post was last modified: Jun 28, 2024, 02:39 AM by Eros.)

Nash was so consumed in his grief he forgot to remain aware of his surroundings. Normally he would have an ear out for a bear, or a cougar, or even a rival wolf. He didn't forget it was coyotes that had driven them all from their home to begin with, that they had plagued his father for so long. There were so many dangers... and yet right now, in this moment, he didn't care about any of that. He couldn't think about anything but how exhausted he was, about the weight of the world crushing down on him. His mind was blank - or what is so full of everything he was drowning beneath it all?

It didn't particularly matter. Nash hadn't heard her approach, and when she settled beside him he nearly jumped out of his fur. He stared at her, blinking rapidly to try and clear his eyes, clear his mind, yank back the armor he'd been wearing for weeks - months - and return to the man she needed him to be. "Magg- I- I'm sorry, I-" he mentally scrambled for something to say. "I'm fine," he landed on, unconvincingly. His guard was down, he'd let go, and now he couldn't seem to make the bravado come back.