Fireweed Rise Amen

Set later the same day as <a href='http://relic-lore.net/index.php?showtopic=2370' target='_blank'>this</a>, but because of my slowness timelines are funny now, so... keepin' it vague, I guess. Sorry 'bout that, Allie <3

<blockquote><font style='margin-left:20px;'><i>Trisden's faith had always been something taken for granted. She took for granted that God existed, just as she took for granted that He was far beyond her comprehension. She took for granted that Kiche was not lying to her, just as she took for granted the fact that nobody else seemed to listen to him. She took it for granted that her beliefs were not a bad thing, even when their existence clashed with those of her family. When she was older, Trisden had begun to question these things she had never really questioned before, and therein had laid her downfall. The moment she had begun to doubt, everything had slowly unravelled. Theodore was dead, and it had been all her fault.</font>

<font style='margin-left:20px;'>And yet, at the same time, it had not been. She had been a child. She did not know what to believe any more.</font>

<font style='margin-left:20px;'>"You need to learn to let go," he had said, all long whiskery fur and shining eyes. They had been his first words to her, many days after she and Hocus had joined their ranks. She had frowned, and believed that he was to ignore her presence forever. With those bright eyes now on her, she did not know whether she could stand it.</font></i>

---
She could scarcely believe it. Paranoid delusions of rejection and loneliness had gripped her for so long that this feeling of <i>relief</i> was almost alien. He was still here, he had not vanished, and yet she doubted it still, half-believing him capable of vanishing at any moment. Such thoughts were folly, she knew, for she did not put nearly as much truth in silly supernatural things as she once did, but the incredulousness remained. All of the bitterness of the encounter was swept away by it, by the dual sensation of elation and awed disbelief. <i>She was wanted.</i> Trisden Lyall had never wanted anything more than validation and her place in greatness. Whether or not she would earn the latter was yet to be seen - but without the first, without <i>acceptance</i>, she was nothing.

Kade Attaya was a saint, and Trisden Lyall loved him dearly, never more than in these moments.

<b>"I can't believe you found me,"</b> she breathed, inhaling him once more, pressing her head into his shoulder. She could not believe a lot of things of late, it appeared. <b>"You... I... I should never have left. I'm so sorry. I let you all down."</b> It was impossible to hold back, and so she did not bother. Yet the emotion stuck in her throat as it all tried to spill out at once, confessions and apologies and promises - it could not fit. She was too small a wolf for so much. It was all she could do to sit here with her saint and not collapse in a heap of soggy, worn-out willpower, for her reserves had all but dried up. It had taken so much to get here, to get this far, and she had not recognised her own exhaustion. It was too much. Trisden was a tightly-wound spring, and had been for so long that now, upon release and after the initial elation of release, she found that she was twisted and misshapen and probably changed forever.

<i>Hjornir would be pleased,</i> she thought suddenly, and the memory of his bright eyes alongside the warm presence of Kade somehow made everything better.</blockquote>

You know it's just perfect, Siki, no worries :)

<blockquote>The dark man strode with a graceful bounce in his step now, with <i>her</i> safe at his side. There had been many a day and night when he'd wonder in his solitude if he'd ever see her again, mulling over their memories when he couldn't sleep at night. She had been such an integral part of the Grizzly Hollow he'd come to know, and the guardian had come to cherish and love the young woman as his own. The oldest Lyall was stubborn, clever, and so lively that her golden eyes sometimes shone brighter than the sun, he swore. And so her return brought him not only elation and happiness, but also peace and <i>hope</i>.

Gently he would land an affectionate lick between Trisden's ears as she nudged his shoulder, the grin upon his face remaining.<i> "I can't believe you found me. You... I... I should never have left. I'm so sorry. I let you all down." </i>His pale eyes would look for hers, and it didn't take him but a second to return reassuring words.

<b>"It was by chance, alone, that I happened upon your scent...I'd thought my mind was playing tricks on me,"</b> he chuckled softly, and his tone would become softer as he continued. <b>"Trisden...What matters is that you are <i>safe</i>, and soon you will be <i>home</i>. I've missed you terribly, but understand that I respect your perseverance, and believe you have every right to <i>search yourself</i>. You certainly did not let me down, I was just worried about you, kid."</b> The plume of his silver-strewn tail swayed thoughtlessly behind him. </blockquote>

(This post was last modified: Jun 28, 2012, 05:09 AM by Kade.)

<blockquote>He humbled her. Such was the effect that few others had ever possessed over the girl, if, indeed, there had been anyone at all - her mother was loved dearly, but as Trisden had aged, it had turned into a soft kind of love. There was not much rough about Jayseyek, at least not that Trisden had often witnessed, but Kade had today demonstrated his chosen role in Trisden's life. The hero she had never wanted, but when it was him, it was different.

Was this what it was truly like, having a father? Did the rules just not apply to him? She recalled her first memory of the man, when he had come to the den, and it was with the amused perspective of hindsight did she remember doubting him, wondering who he was and what he wanted. If only she had known.

<i>I've missed you,</i> he said, and she felt her heart burst. Oh, to be wanted - to be missed! All that time she had spent paranoid that they were not sparing her a thought, that they held nothing but contempt... How foolish she felt.

Kade <i>humbled her</i>, and for the life of her Trisden could not bring herself to do anything but love him for it.

<b>"I was okay,"</b> she said quietly, chest still swollen from all the emotion she could barely keep contained. <b>"We fed ourselves okay, and then th- we found some wolves who took care of us. I owe them a lot."</b> <i>I wouldn't be here now without them.</i> The thought of Hocus threatened to put a pinprick in her delicately elated mood, but she took a breath and looked up at Kade's strong face, and she found she had strength enough. <b>"He decided to stay with them. I think it was right for him. He's safe."</b> <i>And all the better for being apart from me.</i> She buried it. Too much was surfacing now to have to deal with it all; the wound her brother left behind was one she had nursed for a long time, and she expected to do so indefinitely. It was her pain to bear, and bear it she would.

<b>"How is the pack?"</b> she asked quickly, wary of questions about Hocus which she may find too difficult to answer - at least for now.</blockquote>

<blockquote>How good it felt to hear the soft tones of the voice that had once been so very small. As he strode at her side, memories of their first meeting floated freely through his mind, similarly to the fireflies that would appear every now and then among the red-hued flowers that surrounded them.

<i>"Okay, but I should warn you my eldest daughter Trisden is very bold, and rather protective of everyone..."</i> Jaysyek had once said to him, the first night he'd entered Cedarwood Forest, which was no less majestic now than it was that dark, fateful night. He had been scared to death of such a young girl, one who would question his reasons for wanting to be so <i>close</i>; he was scared of his own potential failures, scared to be a let-down to members of the only real family he would ever come to have since his days near the sea.

<font style='margin-left:20px;'><i>"Trisden Lyall."</i> She had stated so matter-of-factly upon laying her eyes upon him for the first time, as if to ask vicariously who in the hell he was. </font>

And then there was Hocus, the pup he'd met only once and had never seen again. The mention of his name, and the statement Trisden offered concerning his whereabouts and wellbeing, struck him. It was nice to know the young man was alive and well, and had found a place of his own somewhere out there...But a tinge of guilt could not be dismissed at the thought that he'd never really known him at all.

She would inquire of the pack, and he would grow quietly thoughtful. Quite honestly, he wasn't sure what to say; much of his recent time had been spent away, far away...And as a matter of fact he hadn't seen Jaysyek in months until only a few days prior to Trisden's return, nor had he encountered the little cubs who brought a new wave of hope into Grizzly Hollow's world. As proudly as he had interjected between Trisden and Follko, as easily as he had claimed the Hollow as his home, right now he really didn't feel <i>connected</i> to it or any of its members.

Something was torn somewhere inside of him, as though his soul had been split the night he had watched Jayse's smile fade beneath the ancient tree that seemed to hide them from the world. Who was he, if he wasn't hers? And all the same, he <i>wasn't</i> Jaysyek's anymore; he belonged to a certain amber-eyed woman, one who he had claimed for himself, one who made him feel alive and whole, and like he'd never hurt a day in his life in her presence...And, one day, their future together would draw him from Grizzly Hollow, from Jayse, from <i>Trisden</i>.

In a single moment his emotions could have mirrored those of the young woman at his side - a mess. But she wouldn't see it in him; he would not allow her to see him <i>want</i> to crumble, whether she <i>felt</i> it or not. He could, and would, always be her pillar of strength, and she would always be his soft spot.

<b>"They have...found peace."</b> Yes, it was quite the vague reply, but it was perhaps the only truth he knew to share with her. <b>"They will be very happy to have you safe at home,"</b> he added with a sideways grin.</blockquote>

<blockquote>The quiet power of the man next to her, the man who listened and understood and didn't question, was the most powerful tonic. For a child who had never wanted anything more than to be strong, it was intoxicating to sit beside such a bastion of it. No matter how he felt privately (though only the smallest part of Trisden acknowledged the idea that Kade might not be every bit the pillar of strength he appeared - but then who was?) he was exactly the influence that she needed. Ever since leaving behind Hjornir, whose presence had had a similar effect, she had needed someone else to fill that role. It was not enough to just believe in higher powers any more. If she had learnt nothing else, it was that the <i>tangible</i> was just as important.

She could feel his warmth, could hear his breathing - even his heartbeat, if she listened hard enough - and they were all physical comforts.

<font style='margin-left:20px;'><i>They have... found peace,</i> he said, and something about it made her pause. <i>They will be very happy to have you safe at home,</i> he continued, and the grin was another curiosity. What was he not telling her? What didn't she know? The strangeness of it was enough to suppress the faint giddiness that she would have felt at being told of 'their' happiness, for being welcomed home had been a plague on her mind. But 'they'... Mother and Lettie?</font>

What was the significance of them finding peace? She did not understand.

<b>"What's happened?"</b> she said, all but a whisper, eyes wide as she turned them on him.</blockquote>