Riddle Heights some days i can't even trust myself

BREAKING NEWS: DATURA TRAVELS BACK IN TIME TO MURDER HIS SISTER

Shut up.

Once more she crashed down, shot by one of his masterfully-placed bullets.

No one cares.

She whined, low and quiet, as though he was crushing her chest. The wind blew around them, agitated, picking up speed.

Literally no one.

That's not true, she wanted to protest, but in that moment she could think of nobody to use to prove his wrongness, nobody who she could name with absolute certainty. Even Ash and Athena might have been pretending, even a little bit. He took a step closer and something new was immediately born in her throat, tight and hot and dreadful, something which felt like fear. Datura had never scared her before, not truly; her squeals of playful terror when he pounced on her unexpectedly were not fear, and even when he was upset and angry, like now, she usually placated or distracted him, and never was she afraid of him. Here, on this height, with death in front and her brother moving up from behind, somehow she was all too aware of what a fine line that had the potential to be. She looked at his face and what she saw made her blood cold.

"Datura," she whispered, pleading, but he might not have even heard because the wind was grabbing at their every breath and it was getting stronger, she could feel it push against her, testing her balance. He sulked and tantrumed and all Bella could think was that safety lay beyond him, behind him, and it was so stupid to be worried, so stupid, but -

Somehow his whispers cut through the air in ways hers could not, but such was normally the case, he was so much more powerful than she - and with his words ringing in her ears, his muzzle was under her arm and then the wind blew hard and she stumbled.

No one cares.

Instincts, honed by an entire life spent prancing up and down precarious paths and laughing in the wind, saved her. instincts, and the storm. The paw he displaced had trod air, and everything had been off, been wrong, and for a long second Bella had stared down at the rocks which were to be her final companions. Automatically she had shunted her weight to compensate, a high squeal escaping her, and fate was determined by which way the wind blew next. The mountain chose to spare her. The scales tipped just enough to bring her back from the edge, rocking on shaky heels, but then all paws were on solid ground again.

Comprehension failed her. She could not process it, could not rationalise it. Once her body knew it was safe, and her eyes refocused, they snapped onto Datura, wide and confused. Then fly. He had said it. She could not excuse it. A second new emotion burst into blazing existence at that moment, something which felt strange and hot and ravenous. "Maybe one day I will," she spat back at him, the emotion colouring her mind red, clouding it, burning down any of the lighthearted joys which normally consumed her. "Then you'll be happy."

It was ruined, she couldn't stay here anymore. If she looked out over that precipice, she would only see the ground rushing towards her. He had ruined it. Hardly able to stand the sight of him a moment longer, she tore away and ran back down the way they came, fleeing before he could see any of the misery in her face.

She'd win one day... if he wasn't the death of her first.

@Belladonna

He didn't expect her to fall, to actually fly.

Instantly he felt the thorns of regret snagging on his golden fur, on his metallic heart. Time slowed as one of her mud-dark forepaws dangled helplessly above a void. It was all he could see: the nothingness beneath her. The storm reached a crescendo beyond him and it threatened to tear his sister away from him like the thoughtless, brutal rapids of a waterfall. No. This stupid world would not — could not — take her from him. She was all he had. She was his everything: she was Bella. She was night and he was day. His balance would be lost and surely he, too, would tumble from the cliff without the weight of her soul to tether his own to this apathetic, brutal world. His jaw hung open. He wanted to scream, he wanted to reach out for her, but he found that he could not. His principles anchored him to the spot. He was as dangerous as the wind, she needed to know that. Her cries tore his heart wide open.


No, he begged with his own demons, Not my sister. My sister. 

But some how, instantly, she righted herself. He had no time to react before she was up against him, chewing him out the same way he had done to her. His eyes were wide with terror and surprise. This was not the Bella he knew, but his heart was beating so fast that there was no time to get angry at her for retaliation. And as the tide carried away his anger and his shock, all that was left on the beach of his consciousness was shame. Guilty, guilty boy.

"Bella!" he shouted, his voice hoarse. The strength was gone from his throat, though, and the voice that had once penetrated the wind was swept up in the torrent. He could not be sure she heard him. "Bella!" He begged. He was always begging. He had no choice but to tear after her. She could not get away. He was not sure what he would do to her but he had to be with her now. Datura felt sick.

- - -

The golden boy's breath was thin and ragged as his sides heaved with effort to push whatever air remained in his small lungs. He could smell her all over this rock. Tufts of her fur were tacked to this rock here, the edge of some very thin crevasse within the rock. Desperately he moved towards the opening of the narrow cave, hoping beyond everything she was in there.  

"Bella I didn't mean it," he cried, "It was... it was just a stupid joke." It was clear from his tone that he had been crying. 

Whether or not his cries had been heard would not have made a difference. The raging storm in her chest could only drive her onwards; there was no room for his regret. In those raw moments, all she could see was his intent, and staring death in the face had forced her to confront that. A prank or not, true maliciousness or not, she could have died, and it would have been at Datura's hands. No amount of adoration for nature would catch her if she fell. The wind had blown to save her, but it could have gone the other way so very easily. The gentle, wounded part of her understood, and expected nothing less. The mountain did not give preferential treatment. Either you lived by respecting it, or you did not live on it.

The angry part of her ran on, feeling the heat in her face and the tears which threatened to fall. Almost blind she ran, the swell of the winds dying down as she descended. All her usual comforts were denied her, Datura's thoughtless act tarnishing everything at once, making a permanent mark on her innocence. But as she ran, so the heat in her belly cooled, and the tears began to flow, and then there was nothing at all to sustain her.

Quietly she sat, forehead against the cool rock, eyes closed, breathing slow. This cave was unknown to her, yet another marvel she would normally have rejoiced at discovering. Instead it had been nothing more than a cold dark hole for her to hide in. Here, in the calm, she had slowly digested everything which had happened, and the foreign fires had died down and were replaced by her usual contemplation. The ferocity in her blood had scared her almost as much as that look on Datura's face. She didn't like feeling that way, it was destructive and hateful and sad. Those feelings surely couldn't sustain anyone, not in a healthy way. Was that how he felt, her sweet brother, when he couldn't share her treasures? Did it make him hot and angry, was that why he lashed out? They loved each other, brother and sister, and before now Bella had never questioned it, unable to conceive of a kind of love which was anything but nurturing. Loving Datura, in those moments, made her heart hurt.

She heard his movements before his voice. She had anticipated this, waited for him to find her, at war with herself. The pain had been so real, so visceral, but the thought of conflict with her only brother tore at her very core. She could not hate him, she could never hate him, as much as it would have been easy to. As he called to her, his voice thick, his words pleading, the immediate swell in her chest was all the answer necessary. Pulling back from the wall, she looked out at the uneven cave entrance, and found that she desperately needed to see his face.

"I know," she called softly, shifting herself to face the outside, towards the dim light where her guilty, wretched brother stood. "Come here."

@Belladonna introducing: the side of datura i'v known was there for three years but have never gotten to see. better late than never...

Somewhere in the darkness he heard her body move. He saw the shadow of her head move slowly away from the wall and swing towards him. Thoughtlessly he ducked. He could not dare look her in the eyes now. The silly boy could not face whatever condemning face he imagined she would wear. And he couldn't let her see his tears. For what felt like years he stood there, staring at the ground and waiting for her to send him away, to push him off a cliff. He had surely earned it, hadn't he?

But her voice was as soft as moonlight. His golden eyes flicked towards her and widened. How in awe he was of her ability to forgive. He had never been able to wash away all the wrongs from his memory with the ease she had. Forgiving was always a painful mess. Ava had impressed upon him to do it, to be gentlemanly, but it felt like ripping pieces from his heart. But Bella was an angel. Yes, she was very deluded with her views of nature... but he would never dare deny her virtues: patience, trust, and unconditional forgiveness. These were the things he needed from the world, and she was his Lost Lake that he could drink from. Little did he know that her water might not be endlessly, that everything he stood for threatened to drain her dry.

Eagerly, sniffling, he went to his side. Though under normal conditions he did not like to be touched, he immediately sought out the comfort of her fur. The snout that had so callously tipped her towards death now buried itself into the pulsating warmth of her throat. He needed to feel the movement of blood in her veins in a way that frightened him. She had to be alive now. He had to know. Her voice was not enough for him. The rhythmic beats soothed him, and the tears began to flow again. But slowly. Gently.

The beast was calmed.

"I would never hurt you Bella." A lie. Did he know it? Part of him must have known it. But maybe his sister did not. "I promise." He would break that promise a thousand times or more. But how could he help himself? He was just a monster born without the knowledge of beauty and love. All he had in him was need. A longing that had been opened in him from the moment of his birth. He would shove Bella down that abyss if it could keep him satiated if only for a moment. "You are my everything." 

(This post was last modified: Jul 10, 2015, 01:01 AM by Datura.)

He was ashamed, she could see it in his every tiny movement, read it in the way he avoided her gaze. But Bella trusted more in the healing of love than he did, and when the way was opened to him, Datura came. How could he believe she would do anything but welcome him? This was not the first time she had fled, torn by his cruelty, but it was the first time... it had been this bad.

It didn't matter.

In those moments he was no longer the larger sibling, his weak sniffles seeking out her fur, their warmth pressing together in mutual support. She hushed him, kissing his forehead and cheek in the way that Athena did when Bella needed comforting. She felt his pulse slow, his breathing become even, and still she held him, gently running her nose through the fur on his cheek. It was not right for him to be this vulnerable, every part of Bella knew that this was a hidden, suppressed part of the boisterous, arrogant creature who was her brother. She should have felt privileged to witness it, but instead it made her deathly sad.

His promises came quietly, attempts to mend the wound which had formed on that precipice. Even she sensed that it would be impossible to uphold, for truly he hurt her on a regular basis, and she could not imagine their relationship changing that drastically anytime soon. Under normal conditions, the pain was manageable, short-lived and dismissed, but had the floodgates opened? Was this a turning point for the better, or for the worse? The idea of a life without Datura made her want to curl into a ball and cry, but what if it wasn't her choice? Life had already denied them birth parents, under mysterious circumstances which, honestly, rarely crossed her mind, but Datura wasn't painted with the same brush. They were supposed to be in this together. Why had they been born so different?

"I love you," she whispered, leaning into him, never wanting to move. Here, in this fragile state, they were finally united, brought together by how they both sabotaged their relationship, in their own way. Here, in the dark, they had nothing to divide them. Could she live in the dark all her life if it meant he was happy? Could she shut herself down, turn off the lights, and be the blind sister he wanted?

Knowing the answer to that, she pressed tighter.