Nomads Pass At Your Mercy

Their hostility had been so obvious at the hunt. It was no way to function, not if they were to rule this pack together as they had before. Whilst they had taken a good cache and everyone played their part, he would not go through such hostility again. In truth, he had felt embarrassed that she did not stand and call the pack aside him, that she chose to sit and lead on different levels. If they were to be equals in this kingdom, they needed to work as such. If they couldn't work past the issues that sat between them, he could not and would not be her king.

He answered to no one his entire life, right up until he met her. She was the only one in the entire world who could make him feel small, make him feel worthless, invisible. He hadn't had an easy upbringing. The pack he was born to was filled with cruel, heartless wolves and he took beatings from the day he could walk, maybe even before. He had never known love, only hate. Even the pain he felt was numb and the injuries he had suffered as a child were nothing compared to how much Naira could hurt him. He felt weak, weak for letting her come into his life and making him hurt. He would rather relive his youth under the mercy of his father then endure the distance between his female. He felt empty without her, a flower without its roots, a wolf without its howl. Yet he was no fool. The pain that they had caused each other was perhaps the worst and perhaps he had caused more grief then he should have, but was he to blame? Naira revolted against his pack for feeling not trusted, alone, unwelcome; could she not see she was making him feel the same? The old pack had blamed her for leaving them, did she not see that in truth she left him too? What was he to do when his mate fled their den in the middle of a night, during a fierce storm? Sit inside and sleep? Of course he followed her, he would follow her to the end of the earth if she asked him to.

He had promised never to leave her. His own words danced around in his head until he felt dizzy and he had left her, left them all, but could she not see that what happened to them all was a cruel twist of fate? Had he not warned her before they became one that he would hurt her, she sad ignored his warnings and now she had been burnt she didn't like it. She was stamping on his heart, on his soul with the way she looked at him, not with love and respect as she once had but with something, he assumed, close to hate.
He was not guiltless of course; the meeting he now remembered with such clarity tortured his dreams and he would pay for that for the rest of his life. He had been sick, ill. She must have known it was not him. It was no excuse of course, but if that was the reason she hated him so very much, then she needed to tell him so he could explain and perhaps she would realise just how not there he had truly been. Did she really think him capable of such hatred? Sure, the rest of the world thought he was a giant prick, but she had seen past all of that. Past all of his masks, his ego, his confidence and down into his soul to see that he was just lost, lonely and hurt for what the world had done to him. That everything he did out of spite and hatred was because he knew nothing else in his life, nothing until he had met her of course. He had changed, for her. Hell he even thought Athena was a friend. A friend. He never had one of those before her. He had laughed with her. Gotten angry with her because he felt passion about things for once in his miserable life. He needed her to keep his soul alive, but she did not want him anymore. It tore him in two.

The separation was maddening in itself, and losing Lilly upon the way was torture. He only took his princess in fear that Naira might not return and the girl would need her mother much more than her stronger siblings. He hadn't intended to get locked out, unable to get back in. The rain water had flooded the mountains, washed away most of her scent. The thunder and lightening had disorientated him, causing him to lose his way. The landslide came out of no where, forcing him with his daughter in his jaws to run further from the pack and the lands he knew, into the unknown. There had been no way back in, he had searched and searched. The cries of his daughter for food broke his heart and the kills he made were not good enough for her. Everything had gone dark from that point onward. He did not know to this day what had really happened to his daughter, his beautiful little girl. A part of him was sure he had killed her, to end her suffering and the act had caused him such pain that he forgot who he was... yet the other part of him believed something else, that he had not abandoned her or killed her, but that she was out there, somewhere, waiting for him to find her. One day, he would search for her again, but he had only remembered himself and he was here with his sons and his mate. He had to start building some bridges at least, for if he were to ever find her alive, he would have something here to bring her home to.

Brooding in the depths of the cave he had taken residence within, he whined at her loss. She was so precious to him. Yes, he loved all of his children with the same gut wrenching feeling he had when he looked into his female's eyes, but she had been his little fighter, his light in the darkness, the ending to his suffering and like everything else he had in his life- she was gone too.
He was sure, unless he did something, he would lose the only other good in his life. He had yet to tell his sons who he was, the shame from what he did and said to Adonis haunted him and he would tell them one day, but not yet. There was one bridge he could build though and it would be the one that lead to all of the others- Naira. He needed an answer, needed to move on with his life in one way or another, together or apart, king and queen or nothing at all. With his mind set, he left the darkness where he had sat pondering upon life right until the moon had risen high into the sky and all was quiet. Like the shadow that he was, he moved quietly until he stood near the entrance to the cave she had taken as her own. Hoping not to wake his children, he hovered for a moment to let his scent be found before a quiet yet gruff bark left his lips. "We need to talk." was all he said as he took a seat to wait for her to come to him, perhaps for the last time.

She had not seen their interaction as hostile, but the tension between them could have been cut with a blunt stone. She hadn’t been the one to bar him from her den, he had chosen to do that all on his own, but his absence was keenly felt. She had tossed and turned for hours before dragging herself from the elevated cave and she had pulled herself atop a ledge just above it. The air was crisp and clean, but it still did not settle her enough to lull her to sleep. She surveyed her kingdom through half lidded eyes, pleased that everyone had settled in so well. This would be their land of milk and honey and they would defend it until the last, but this was still very early days, and she would be watching all of those she had gathered - very closely. The shadow moved silently, and her ears perked in interest. Was he going to enter the den and find her gone again? Had he thought to join her tonight to fight off some of the winter chill? But he did not enter. He stopped and she was about to ask what when he spoke low, his words harsh on her velvet ears. ‘We need to talk.’ No good ever came of those words. “Up here.” she answered quietly, waiting for his icy eyes to lock on hers. She shuffled to the side to make room for him. Yes they needed to talk, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to - at least not right now... Still, she would hear him out. They owed each other that much.

Her voice tipped his head up, his gunmetal grey eyes met hers and beneath the moonlight they were perhaps not so dead- eerie still, but very much alive with colour. He said nothing as he turned and scaled the rocks which would lead him to her perch. Even the stones beneath his paws were silent. He noted she had moved over for him and he would not turn away her kindness, so he sat where the rocks were warm aside her, ensuring that their fur did not entwine. She had a wonderful view of their home. It stretched before them like the sea. In the darkness, the moonlight highlighted the tops of the trees in their forest, it caused the various waterfalls to sparkle whilst the mountain walls were almost illuminated thanks to the constant water which flowed down their walls. It was a beautiful place. She had picked the very best for her pack, but he was not here to give her compliments.

"I need to know where I stand in this." he began, trying to think ahead and say the right thing. He didn't want to argue. He was tired of arguing with her. He wanted some peace, between them or away from here if she did not want him any more. He was sure she would never be lonely... according to Mapplethorpe she had wanted him and Tenzin, now he remembered, had smelt of her during their fight; not just a passing sent, but she had been upon his body like a limpet to a rock. Looking back, he felt sick at the idea she had found someone else, but he would not force it out of her, she would have to tell him and set him straight or set him free. "I can't be here if we're not on the same team." he continued, his voice quiet as not to wake the sleeping wolves around them and he could only hope that no one was listening to the arrogant son of a bitch that he was, pouring his soul out. "I know I fucked up and I broke my promise, but you left me, I never left you. You ran away from me. I tried to follow you but I- I got lost." he found it hard to look back, but he had to tell her his story and it was true, he got lost in both ways, physically and mentally. "I never stopped searching for you, for a way to get back home to you and I know I was... sick. I know now what I did to you and Adonis but surely you know that I would never do that if I had known what I was doing, if I had been myself. I hate myself for my actions. You might hate me for them but I can assure you my hate is far worse." a low growl entered his voice as he thought back to that day when he would quite happily have torn his son to shreds and laughed at her tears. "I'm sorry for what happened, truly I am, but I can't keep saying it and walking on egg shells. I look weak in front of the others and I can't be your king if they think I am your jester... You need to tell me where I stand with this pack and my young...with you. I can't be part of this if we're not together- it's too hard for me." he lowered his ears to his head and looked from her back to the land before him, taking a deep breath to settle himself. "You're breaking my soul, being distant and looking at me like you hate me." he admitted quietly, his breath rolling from his lips as fog before vanishing into the crisp night air.

He paused for a moment, listening to the sounds of nothing but the wind above them. It was hard, trying to find the words to say that wouldn't make her hate him more but were true to himself. He was sick of living lies, being someone he wasn't, tricking and deceiving to get what he wanted. It hadn't worked well for him so far, somehow, no matter how careful he was, they saw through the mask to the fucked up guy he was inside, but she had seen past the next layer to the real him, the guy who liked to laugh even if it felt funny, who liked to run with her just because they could, the guy who looked forwards to nightfall just so he could snuggle up with her and breathe her scent all night like and know she wasn't going anywhere else. "I love you. I love you more than I could ever tell you and I want to spend my entire life telling you that, but I can't help but feel you don't want me to do that." he paused again, trying to say the next part in the right way. "I smelt you on Tenzin. I had a scuffle with him before I found myself and you were all over him, not just a meeting but you were all over him, touching him, allowing him to hold you... You look at me as if I were the enemy. As if I am riddled with rabies. I'm too scared to even touch you because I'm worried you'll tell me to get lost for good and it's tearing me apart. Are things so bad between us that you seek out comfort from him and not me? " his voice wavered slightly at the mention of Tenzin- he wasn't angry with her, he wasn't even angry with the male, just himself for not being there. "Please just... just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. If you want me to leave I will, I just need to know Naira." he finished but would not look at her. The weight of the world was visible on his young shoulders as he looked down at the world beneath his paws and waited.

(This post was last modified: Jan 11, 2013, 01:22 AM by Rhysis.)

 

She bought herself upright, daring to mash their coats where he had not. She didn't like this distance between them. She didn't like that they were strangers still. She was silent while he spoke, allowing the words to sink in, and realising just how cold she had been. Her time outside, and her time at Poison Path, had changed her at her core. This she knew. But he hadn't been there. He hadn't been the one to fight every inch of the way to keep their son alive. Lilly was gone. She knew in her heart that the child could not have survived more than a few days without milk. She had battled for months. And she had lost herself.

"I never ran away." The words were cold, lost somewhere in the memory of that night. She had thought he would have known, but how could he with the rain so heavy and the wind blowing a gale? He was still asleep when she had left the den. "My brother took our son. There was no time to wake you and someone had to stay with the children." She didn't want to go into it. She didn't want to think of exactly what she had done that night. It was all too much to bare with life suddenly looking up. She wouldn't trap herself in the past anymore.

Her eyes rested on his face as he spoke, her gaze softer than before. Just like the first time it was taking time for her to adjust to being free of any but herself and those she chose as her family. She was an adaptable creature, but she needed to be given time and it seemed as though Rhysis expected everything to go straight back to the way it had been before.

A sigh left her chest then, a small smile at the edges of her mouth. "I don't hate you. I can't hate you. And I don't even know why. I should after what happened that day, but I can't. I know you weren't yourself. For a time there I wasn't myself either..." she let her voice trail off into the night as her eyes gazed out over their kingdom.

She allowed herself to lean more completely into his side. His touch, and his scent was what she had missed the most during all their months apart. She had convinced herself that if he were only there it would all be better. And yet, now he was here, there was only a new set of obstacles to overcome.

And then he said it again. Was this really her Rhysis, so intent on openly professing his love for her? They were both so different than before... would it ever work again? "I love you too." The words were a cracked whisper, and she almost wished to take them back as the next words left his mouth. The desire to scream at him as she once would have rose like a tightness in her chest but she forced it down.

"I had been searching for months, and I had begun to fear you may be dead. After all, the last scent I caught of you was headed towards Swift River." She really had no excuse for embracing Tenzin as she had, any further than feminine weakness, and the need to feel she was more than a ghost wandering across the landscape. If he was so upset about one small encounter with Tenzin, how would he feel about all the times she had sought out Triell? "I needed to know I wasn't simply a ghost wandering across the lands searching for something that didn't exist."

She allowed the silence to stretch between them as his final words sunk in. "I want things to be the way they were before." She finally admitted. She didn't want to continue to sleep with a gaping hole at her back, she didn't want to feel she should avoid him. "A little less fighting would be nice..." she added with a wry grin, although their discussions had always been interesting and with them both being so hot headed it was bound to happen. She leant over to lick at her mates muzzle, hoping this would be enough to clear the air between them.

The warmth of her body against him sent a shiver down his spine, stirring up feelings he thought were perhaps dead. He had missed her so, but part of him, deep inside, hurt for what she did to him. She had left him. It was not her fault, it was no ones fault but her brother's and he knew that one day he would bring home that golden wolf's tongue to display as a trophy on their mantle, but that did not take away the sting of injustice that had happened to them. Things would have been different if he had only noticed her sooner, if he had left Lilly with the others. Everything had happened so fast and all he could do now was regret his choices, her choices, the life they left behind. They had to let go if they were ever to get past this. "I will kill him. I will spend the rest of my life hunting that miserable bastard until I squeeze the last breath from his lungs." he said, without a snarl which perhaps made the threat more imposing, for the tone was not angry, but dark, twisted... filthy.

He felt his heart thump a little too loud as she told him she loved him. It wasn't often that the two exchanged the words, but they didn't need to tell each other every five minutes something that they knew regardless. They weren't like normal couples, that had been made clear from the start. Their relationship would never be normal, it would no doubt carry on with arguements and scuffles, but so long as they went to sleep curled around one another, they would never be lonely. Yet her words of being lost, empty, made him feel hollow. He hadn't meant to leave her alone, perhaps he could not blame her for wanting to seek comfort in the hole he had left within her- but the thought of another male being so close to her would drive him to insanity if he thought too long on the subject. Tenzin... Triell, oh he knew all right, but he never questioned her loyalty to him... though he had found himself checking her scent more often before their lives were turned upside down, searching for a reason to whack the guy and be done with his meddling. Rhysis after all, was a very jealous boy who did not like to share his things.

He fell silent as she finished talking, her half smile noted and returned as he caught her gaze. She would always do that, make him smirk and smile when there was no real occasion to. It was one of her most annoying characteristics, but one that he enjoyed none the less. As her tongue slipped across his muzzle, he leant into her touch and revelled in the feeling of being this close to her once more. He was hurt, deeply to his core, but he could not dwell on the past. It came down to a simple fact, they had been fucking screwed over but like every time it had happened to him before, he got back up, dusted himself off and carried on with his existance. At least this time, he had a reason to do just that."I can't make any promises." he mused as he turned his head to bump his nose to the corner of her mouth.

"I went by the River..." he said then, a smirk crossing his lips as he remembered what a freaking hero he had triedto be. "I ran into Marsh, Ice and some others. I should really send Marsh a note of thanks... if it weren't for him, I'd still be wandering around there lost." It was strange, to think of the ginger wolf who wanted him dead as useful, but he had done just that. Their fight had caused him to knock his head so damn hard that sense had returned to it... it was a pity that next time they met he was sure one of them would meet their maker.

(This post was last modified: Jan 28, 2013, 04:23 PM by Rhysis.)

Shit post is shit sorry :(

The chilling response that came from Rhysis bought a small satisfied smile to her face. "I’m afraid love, I may have robbed you of that opportunity." Her tones were hushed. Only Adonis had witnessed the fight between herself and her brother, and she had tried to keep him from what remained. "If he does live yet he is absent both ears and half his face. He would carry quite a nasty limp as well, although I am almost convinced a bear ate what was left by the time I was done." Her comments were casual, as if she had been speaking of the weather. Rhysis had not seen her fight, he had hardly seen her truly riled at all. She had lost no love for her brother from the moment her son had been taken. He had chosen to brand himself as the enemy and she had dealt with him accordingly. She watched closely to gauge her mates reaction.

It seemed their conversation had taken a more lighthearted turn as they began to nudge each other and fall into a more natural rhythm. She had known he had been near the river and now he spoke of it. Marsh, the name caused her to shiver and draw closer. Marsh and Ice? She was lucky he survived to stand by her side again at all. She took a moment to simply savour the fact he was at her side before moving to stand on the narrow ledge. She was too restless to sleep as yet. "Shall we run?" she questioned with a wicked smile, east or west, up the mountain or down it she did not care. It had been too long since she had simply enjoyed being.