Larkcall Lowlands The Harsh Light of Day

The brush of her muzzle against his was made in an attempt to comfort for him, he was sure, but something inside Lorcan also regarded it as an act of dismissal as he tried to reason with her. White brows furrowed again as he began to feel frustrated at the fact that @Inna refused to allow him to take some of the blame. His teeth clicked together as his jaw clenched tightly shut as the dark woman continued to dismiss his apology along with his attempts at claiming some responsibility for his action.

“But, you’re forgetting that I made the same choice, Inna.” He rebutted swiftly before she had a chance to continue on any further. “I’m just as responsible for you being in this situation as you are. I refuse to let you blame this all on yourself.” He reiterated, his voice growing deeper and more serious now. “It’s wouldn’t be right.” He added swiftly, his voice softening slightly as he glanced across to meet her fiery gaze. This was one time that the agouti male was not prepared to back down for the sake of politeness or decorum.

When Inna stepped back to pull away from him again, his ears pressed back against his head as he immediately grew anxious about whatever it was she was about to say. The words which left her mouth left him in surprise though and Lorcan watched in silence as a smile graced her soft ebony lips as it dawned on him that the situation was all doom and gloom after all. She was happy.. Or was that just a lie to make him feel better? “You are?” He breathed, his voice uncertain as he tilted his head to one side, his golden stare growing serious. “Inna, you don’t have to lie to me. It’s okay if you’re not.” He assured her, his voice quiet and gentle. He wasn’t. Not right now at least. But maybe that would change once he’d had more of a chance to get used to the idea.

When she asked if he was really happy with being involved with their offspring, his answer was immediate. “Yes. I am sure.” He responded, though there was a slight wavering in his voice which hinted at his uncertainty. He ignored it though. Being there for Inna and his pups was the right thing to do. He doubted he would ever be able to forgive himself if he simply left his friend to care for his offspring all by herself. “I want to be there for you and our pups.” He added, leaning in to place his muzzle protectively behind her upon the thick fur of her neck.

All they had to do now was figure something out. Lorcan looked down at Inna as she agreed before licking tenderly at the tear which trickled down her face and nuzzling her cheek affectionately. “We will.” He assured her quietly, offering another lick to her cheek before he then turned to face up the direction of the monadnock. “I just…I need some time to think things over.” He admitted as he turned his head back to face her then.

The blizzard was still raging and they had been standing out in it all this time, getting colder by the minute. Lorcan couldn’t possibly let Inna try and make her way back to Hearthwood River in such awful weather, especially after the news she had just given him. No, he needed to make sure that she was safe, at least until the worst of it was over. Without warning, the Whitestone healer raised his head to the sky and let out a pleading howl, asking @Morganna permission for Inna to rest within their territory for the night.

Turning back to Inna as he waited to hear a reply, he nuzzled her affectionately as they waited out in the cold. “I’m not going to let you travel back home in this weather.” He explained, giving her a smile. “If Morganna allows it, you can stay in one of the spare dens for the night.” He moved to buffer her from the snow then whilst they waited for a reply.

(This post was last modified: Mar 25, 2017, 10:48 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

All of her attempts to do what she believed to be the right thing we're squashed, it was frustrating. She was trying to be different, not the girl her brother made her out to be. Trying to think of others instead if herself and do right by those she I cared about, Lorcan wasn't a making it easy. Mostly she wanted to protect Lorcan from all of it, everything that could possibly go wrong. Inna had seen what could happen and she didn't want him to have to go through it too. What he had built in the Monadnock was important to him and had made something of himself, she knew what it could do if his packmates found out he was the father of her children.

She knew what he was saying was the truth because he could have always told her that he couldn't or didn't think it was a good idea. He had been a willing participant just as she had and she knew he'd wanted it just as much. “I haven't forgotten,” she said quietly looking down at her paws, “I know you are just as responsible,” she admitted, “I’m trying to do this for you Lorcan, I didn't mean for any of this to happen and I know how much your life here means and I just don't want you to lose everything.” Her gaze went to her paws, she was so worried about what would happen to him. Not only was he the father of her children but he was her friend and she couldn't imagine her life without his friendship. If pushing him away protected him and allowed him to continue his life the way he wanted she would give that to him. “Maybe what I'm trying to do isn't the right thing?” She'd become so confused about if all since speaking to Alek.

Once she knew how Lorcan felt about their situation she told him how she felt about the pups growing inside of her. Minus all that could go wrong or had gone wrong, how this couldn't ruin their lives or what it might do to the packs. All of it leaving her true feelings about the pups growing inside of her. She nodded when he asked surprised if she really was happy. “I'm not lying to you Lorcan, I wouldn't lie to you ever. I know we are only friends but you're my best friend and now that I am starting my very own family I am glad it's with you.” She didn't know if he felt the same and if she thought about it she might wish he did but it didn't matter much. They were going to have a family regardless and she hated that she had put him in a situation he might feel stuck.

The choice he had made was to be there for her and their pups, she was elated by this news though she wasn't entirely sure what it meant for him. Still she had to be sure he was making the choice he felt comfortable with and he said that he was sure in such a way that she believed him. The slight wavering of his voice worried her a little but she kept her thoughts to herself. A smile did form on her maw, “Good, I want you to be there but I also don't want you doing something you aren't comfortable with or really don't want to do.” She had to think about her children now and what was best for them, having a father who was there for them was what was important right then.

They had to figure out something to do about the situation and while she thought they had a little time she wasn't entirely sure. Inna knew they needed to be on the same page if they were going to raise their family. She looked at him as he licked the fear from her face and nuzzled her cheek, “Thank you Lorcan,” was said in a near whisper her voice thick with emotion. Lorcan seemed confident they would figure out something and that helped her to feel like they would. “I understand, you should take your time thinking things over. I know this is a lot, life changing and I'm sorry to have just dropped it on you but I couldn't not tell you.” She did not expect him to be perfectly fine with everything since they hadn't ever talked about having pups, ever, never even thought of until now.

Inna shivered a little as a particularly strong gust of wind from the blizzard went through her pelt which was now covered in snow. Their conversation had taken place some distance from wm so prying ears couldn't hear. Inna knew she would have to head home soon through the blizzard. She wasn't looking forward to the trek through the blizzard but she come to say what she needed and it would soon be time for her to go. However Lorcan surprised her when he turned to call for his alpha asking if it would be okay for her to stay within the territory for the night.

He then turned back to her and informing her that he wouldn't allow her to go home in the blizzard, “Are you sure it's a good idea?” She asked just before he spoke about Morganna and the dens she could stay in for the night, “Where is Craw?” She asked as she would feel a little more comfortable stepping into wm territory with the blessing of the spider. While they waited she let herself lean into him as he tried to protect her from the weather. Inna heard the reply soon after which gave her permission to stay the night, which was a relief. “Will you stay with me so I don't have to be alone in strange territory?” She asked, “I mean if that would be okay with your packmates.”

(This post was last modified: Mar 26, 2017, 12:53 AM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Finally it seemed that he had managed to get it through to her, that this was not all entirely her fault. Russet ears perked up as he listened to his friend go on to explain that she wanted to protect him. She didn’t wish for their actions to impact on his life within Whitestone Monadnock. He nuzzled her then. “Oh Inna..” He sighed. He’d never realised how selfless and considerate she was until now.  “Of course I don’t want to lose what I have here, but that doesn’t mean that I can just ignore what has happened with you.” He stated, looking to her honestly. “Besides, things can’t be easy for you at Hearthwood? They must be asking questions?” He looked to her face then, searching for some kind of sign about her situation at home and hoping for some hint about whether she had mentioned his name to her pack mates.

When Inna began to question herself, Lorcan placed a warm lick along her muzzle and up her forehead to comfort her. “No, it was brave and good of you to tell me.” He told her between licks. “I..I would have felt so guilty if you had kept this from me and I found out months, even years, later!” His voice grew a little louder then as he exclaimed, though his voice still never rose about a loud whisper. “The thought of you going through this all alone…” A subtle whine whistled in his throat. It pained him.

Next the conversation turned to how they felt about the idea of them having pups together. Lorcan himself was still unsure and in shock, having only heard the new a few minutes again. However, as @Inna went on to explain her feelings on the situation, the male knew that she was being honest with him. The fact that she was happy it had been with him felt like both a compliment and something sad. They were friends yes, but the small amount of time they had spent together was hardly enough for him to call her his best friend. That position was currently reserved by @Piety alone. Had Inna really not got anyone at Hearthwood who she felt close to and trusted like he had in Whitestone? His ears folded back at the thought. “I’m glad you’re happy, Inna. I promise, I will help you through this.” He finally responded sincerely.

He would help her through this, even if he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea. It was his responsibility to help and support her now. He had been the one to help her get into this mess and so he would be the one to help her work past it. “I will just have to get used to it. We will figure out a way to do this.” He responded swiftly. He would not be swayed on his decision to help her.

He would have some time to think things over in the warmth and safety of the pack den overnight. A few long moments after he had first howled a response was howled back. @Morganna was happy enough to Inna to rest within the territory for the night, something which Lorcan was thankful for. His chin dipped down as Inna questioned if her staying within Whitestone territory was really a good idea. “It’s too risky for you to be travelling in this weather and there is hardly any shelter out here. Besides, it is only until this blizzard passes.” He explained, before moving to face the direction of the monadnock , bumping her side on the way.

“Come on, I’ll show you where you can stay for the night.” He said, gesturing back towards her. He would lead her to the old coyote den which lay half way up the old goat track. It was the same den where @Anaia had stayed when she had first joined with her injured leg. He scoffed to himself then at the thought of Anaia. Who would have thought that after everything he had done for her that she was just leave to go and join another pack? If he ever came across the girl, he would be sure to have a word with her.

As he led his friend across the marked borders, his ears pressed back against his head at her question. Where was Craw? “He’s been absent a lot lately..” He sighed, a slight growl in his voice. “I think Morganna has given up on waiting for him to return.” He added solemnly. “Things haven't been easy here lately.” He sighed again. Well that was the understatement of the century. When they finally reached the goat track which led up the side of the monadnock, Lorcan showed her to the old den which lay half way up it. “It’s not much, but it will give you some shelter and privacy. It’s the best I can do on such short notice.” He said, golden eyes glancing towards her apologetically.

When she asked if he would stay with her an awkward expression plagued his features. “I think that would cause suspicion. I think it would be best if I slept in the main den with the others tonight, like normal. I’m sorry, you understand don’t you?” He whined. He felt so guilty leaving her in on her own for the night. “I will wake up early tomorrow morning to come and check on you, I promise. We can talk more about everything then..” He whispered, before gesturing towards the den with his muzzle. He wanted to lean in and place an affectionate lick on her forehead, but he didn't dare, just in case any of the others were watching. 

(This post was last modified: Mar 26, 2017, 12:35 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

Finally she had allowed him to accept some of the blame even if she still felt like she was the one to blame. She knew that having pups with her would cause a strain on both of them and she felt horrible for being the one to put him through whatever might happen. The nuzzle he gave her was some comfort for the storm that was going on inside of her. “I am happy and grateful but you've worked so hard and I don't want to see all of your hard work go end up meaning nothing to those you care about. I don't want you to to lose your family.” She wanted him to be there for her and the pups, she really did but not if it meant he would get what she'd already gotten. Things in Hearthwood how it had been with her brother, the words he'd spoken to her. Her head fell to look at her paws as she shrugged, “I’m not really sure about things in Hearthwood and there have been questions but you don't have to worry.”

Her guilt of feeling like she had led him into this situation had been almost unbearable when she'd found out the result of their morning of fun. She had even considered keeping her pregnancy to herself and let Lorcan go on with his life never knowing. She'd quickly dismissed that idea because it was his right as their father to have the chance to be in their life. Lorcan praised her from coming to him and telling him so any doubts she had about coming to him went away. He seemed to want to know about the pups she carried. “I felt you had the right to decide if you wanted to be in their life, it's not a decision I should make for you as life changing as it might be.” She just hoped he would be a part of their lives and not just there to help her. “I'm thankful that I don't have to do this alone. It will be hard and there will be times I don't know what to do and knowing that you are there will help a lot.”

The dread that filled her of what was going on at home and the realization that her brother had given her. It tried to drown the happiness she felt having new life inside of her but it was there deep down inside. It helped her stay afloat after what Alek and her mother had said, it was a hard look at what she'd done. She couldn't be mad at them, it was what she needed to see about herself. Better it now before she could teach her children to be what she had become. “Thank you Lorcan I trust you will keep your promise and I hope one day you can share in my happiness.”

He had not hid his feelings well so she knew she wasn't exactly enthused with the idea of becoming a father. She understood, after all she'd just dropped the news on him so couldn't expect him to accept it right away when he had so much to lose if anyone found out he was the father of the lives growing inside of her. “I'm glad that you want to help Lorcan and I want you to take whatever time you need but I don't want you to feel like you have to stay for my sake. If it all becomes too much I need to know, okay? I know we will figure out a way to do this we just need a little time.” She didn't want him to remain in a situation he wasn't comfortable with or unhappy in. That was not the purpose of her telling him.

He made it clear that she couldn't go home, not while a blizzard was blowing around them and she couldn't disagree. It was only by some miracle she'd found her way to the Whitestone borders in the first place. “I just don't want to cause any more trouble than I already have but I am grateful for whatever you can offer.” She had not been expecting to stay but when the reply giving her permission to stay came she felt relieved she wouldn't have to go back out into the blizzard and would have shelter for the night.

Inna nodded when he told her to come along, when she had asked Lachesis for permission to visit Whitestone she had not expected it to be like this. “Thank you,” she said before following him across the pack borders and into the territory keeping her head and tail low. She was nervous entering lands of a pack she'd only met two of their members. She kept close to Lorcan so as to not get lost in the blizzard but also for his protection in case they came upon any of his packmates.

It was a surprise to hear that Craw hadn't been around and even more so that the female lead was close to giving up on him returning. “I'm surprised to hear he isn't around after he seemed so proud to have created this pack.” It just didn't make sense to her but then Lorcan shared that it hadn't been easy for the Whitestone wolves, “I'm sorry to hear that I hope things will look up for you as spring arrives.” She wasn't here to gather information so she did not ask further questions and instead offered her hope it would get better. They soon came to a den, he stated it wasn’t much, “Anything will do, I've stayed in worse,” she said offering him a small smile. Her time on her own had given her some experience in different shelters.

Her request for him to stay with her was turned down and she couldn't argue with his reasoning. She knew he was right that they couldn't let his packmates become suspicious. She nodded, “Of course I understand,” she said nudging his cheek though she was disappointed that she would have to stay the night in a strange pack she knew for their safety it had to be this way. “I will see you in the morning then and we can talk a more, try and figure something out maybe.” She gave him a kiss goodnight on his cheek before turning to the den but at the mouth she stopped and looked back. “Can you please tell Morganna that I am grateful for her kindness and I will be sure to tell Lachesis and my mother what she’s done for me?” That said she turned back to the den and slipped inside where she curled up and settled in for the night. She would have to leave after her and Lorcan talked so she didn't wear out her welcome with the Whitestone alpha.

(This post was last modified: Mar 26, 2017, 03:25 PM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Inna had given the Whitestone healer a lot to think about. Just how he was going to be able to help and support her and their pups, he wasn’t sure. What he did know, though, was that he was determined to at least try. With her having family in Hearthwood and him being a loyal member of Whitestone, the idea of either of them leaving their own pack for the other seemed out of the question. Lorcan would have to think of something else, and he would do. It seemed he was in store for a long sleepless night.

He could tell that @Inna was disappointed that he was unwilling to risk arousing suspicion in order to spend the night with her, but it seemed she at least understood his reasoning. A soft purr rumbled in his throat at the kiss placed on his cheek and the agouti male leaned in to the entrance of the den to return a tender stroke of his muzzle to her forehead. “Yes, hopefully I will have figured something out by then.” He assured her quietly as he turned to glance up the goat track which led to the main pack den.

Lorcan turned back to smile at Inna when she requested that he thank @Morganna for her generosity. “I will.” He promised her, offering a warm nuzzle to her cheek before he shifted backwards out of the entrance of the coyote den. “I’ll let you sleep now. See you in the morning..” He whispered, offering her a fragile smile before he silently climbed back up the path to join the rest of his pack mates within the main den.

~Fade~

(This post was last modified: Mar 26, 2017, 03:52 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together