Dead Empress Backwater even when I laugh, I cry

Dead Empress Backwater, a deer herd is migrating through your territory.

August 19th; Late afternoon; Broken Clouds; 80.51° F, 26.95° C.

Oleander swallowed down the numbing sensation of acceptance in his chest. It settled in his stomach like a rock. Heavy, unfeeling, and uncomfortable all at once. He had been expecting Anatole to return for a few weeks now and he was starting to grow worried. It was not like the Scout to stay out this long... he was very good at checking back in. Regret threatened to pull him under. He probably shouldn't have asked for certain herbs on top of a search for Sage's whereabouts.

Damn it, he cursed to himself. Stupid. Idiot!

A dirt-stained paw struck the earth before him, sending blades of grass and small pebbles off to one side. Selfish bastard. He did it a second time, then realized he was not alone. Tears stung at the corners of his eyes as he found himself staring into a half dozen sets of beady eyes in the distance. Three white-tailed does flicked their ears as their grown fawns walked behind them.

The white wolf stood for a while before lowering his head. The simple gesture was enough to allow the small herd to continue on their way. All except for one moved into the underbrush. The one doe who remained held Oleander's gaze. Inside, he wept, angry at the way nearly everything reminded him of his lost love.

(This post was last modified: Aug 21, 2024, 10:50 PM by Oleander.)

The Valle man had been following the herd as it approached the territory, intending to call an impromptu hunt if they crossed the borders. Their caches were decently full but it would be foolish to turn down such an easy opportunity, plus the children were old enough now they could be more active in their participation. Taking a detour from where they had been heading, the leader planned on gathering whoever might be available before cutting the prey off on their way out the opposite border.

Instead what he found was one of his older sons in tears, just staring at the cervids as the tears soaked into his cheeks. For a moment he was confused at the sight, so wrapped up in his own problems he instinctively wondered what Oleander had to be upset about. Then reality set in, Sage was gone, Archer was dead and was still his brother, there were a few other members who were missing or delayed coming home.

A sigh escaped from his lungs that seemed to empty all the oxygen from his entire body. Unsure of what to say, he came and sat silently next to Oleander, there for whatever he needed.

Oleander had always been too in touch with his emotions for his own good. He thought he had kept himself together and held the tears back, but they flowed from him. Defiant. The more he tried to blink them away, the more the vision of the herd grew blurry. Indiscernible and one with the forest through natural camouflage. He didn't even notice Viorel sidle up to him and sit.

He had to stop running, to stop trying to hold everything together all the time. It was too much and Oleander had finally met his breaking point. His mouth pulled down in an ugly choked-back sob. That was when he saw his father. Glossy yellow eyes became heavy-lidded and his white ears folded back in defeat.

"Why?" he asked, sniffling in an attempt to calm the panicked breath in his chest. "Why do they always leave?" A glimmer of gratitude flitted over him then as he regarded the Leader. He and his mother Clover had been his rocks. Northern stars. Home. And, they had never failed him. Ever. Even with their imperfections and flaws as mere mortal creatures.

"I... I thought she loved me."

Catastrophizing. Oleander's specialty. Though he knew Sage had probably not meant to stay away as long as she had thus far, he wanted to feel the sting in his chest. Not of betrayal, but of loneliness and emptiness. For once, he wanted to perceive the sensation of being hurt. To figuratively bleed for all those times his loved ones left. To let it all go once and for all. He could not keep existing like this.

         

OLEANDER |

Nobody gets me like you do I'm not the same, not after you