Heartleaf Creek My Heart Dances…

My heart dances...   His anger depleted, Leo felt numb, the rapid beats of his heart the only proof that he was still alive. And even that was stilling, slowing to a steady, almost sluggish rhythm, as the adrenaline powering it ran out. Though his eyes remained trained on Eros, the intensity in them had dulled, and he barely noticed the other wolf moving towards him, only reacting at the sound of his name. Hearing Eros say his name with such gentleness at any other time would have sent Leo’s heart back racing, but in his current state, all he could manage was a slight turn of his head, eyes blinking slowly to bring the bigger man back into focus. His question, even through Leo’s daze, seemed absurd and he shook his head dully, answering in a flat voice: “We all hurt.” Worse than any physical pain he could imagine, it felt like all that was left in the Cove was hurt. Even Eros’ increasing fervency couldn’t break through Leo’s catatonia. He just continued to shake his head lethargically, not even reacting to the ludicrous mention of Vayko, though the words Nash’s kid did draw a strangled whine through his clenched teeth. But what finally broke him was that last question, the clear desperation in his old friend’s voice managing to reach through the stone of his chest to the aching heart beneath, tearing it wide open. Tears brimmed in Leo’s eyes, quickly spilling over to run down his muzzle in a heavy stream. His chest contracted in a strangled sob, head drooping until his nose hovered just above the ground. Quick breaths wheezed in and out of his lungs as he tried to collect himself enough to talk, fighting against the continued sobs contracting his chest. Finally he managed to gain enough control to glance back up at Eros, voice utterly miserable as he pleaded: “All of it, please. We can’t… I can’t take anymore!” ”Speech" Thoughts

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YOU DON'T WANNA HURT ME, BUT SEE HOW DEEP THE BULLET LIES

Even with the heat dissipated completely, even at its least animated, the pain that Leo was experiencing remained no less visceral or raw. At least he was still answering, but Eros found himself failing to gain any more clarity despite every subtle response. The most of a hint he would get came at the mention of the yearling, and the mournful noise the other made upon hearing it. Maybe the amputation hadn't been the end of it. Maybe, she'd actually died... Why wouldn't he just say that, though? Accuse him of sending an assassin, if that was really what he thought? Was it possible the opposing heir hadn't actually come here to pass blame, that those stones were actually pieces of a crumbling wall? Something like what Eros had built for himself, since becoming a bulwark as each successive cut in the heart demanded higher and higher defenses. He watched as Leo began to cry, to sob, and he felt yet another break deep within his chest. This time, however, he refused to hide behind a shield. He was meant to defend others, to be a healer before being a fighter, and he'd been doing a shit job of it for far too long now. Eros' legs bent at the knee until he was crouching, stomach down in the grasses, and he crept forward, putting to bed the distance still between them. His gaze remained fixed on Leo's flooded face, steady and certain every moment. He had to try, to do the best that he could to show that he didn't have to be a threat, that he didn't want to hurt him... that he could even maybe be part of the solution. Stopping as near to the other's paws as allowed, he would then drop his weight fully, taking a breath. It had been a very long time since he had made such a gesture, and it flew in the face of both instinct and the title he'd be entrusted with by pack and family. Still, Eros shifted and turned, rolling onto his back and letting his neck relax; exposing every physical vulnerability. There was no trepidation as he spoke gently up at his old friend, care put into each word. "I'm here, okay?" not as brother of Sephrina or the alpha of Dead Empress Backwater; it was just Eros, reaching out desperately for just Leo. "I'm right here, and I want to help, no matter what you need."

UNAWARE, I'M TEARING YOU ASUNDER, THUNDER IN OUR HEARTS

...But not for joy   All of his determination, his anger, even his very thoughts had dissolved into unbridled sobs, his whole body trembling like a frightened rabbit. His reasons for coming here, previously so clear in his mind, all seemed so pointless now – there was nothing Eros could do that would mend the terrible hurt they were all feeling, no amount of retribution that could somehow set things right – if anything, learning for certain that Eros had had any part in the attack would just be another blow. He should never have come here in the first place, how could he possibly have thought this would solve anything? Another sob shook his frame, head bobbing miserably as he gasped for breath. That’s when he noticed Eros moving, head rising a little higher to watch the other man inch closer. Seeing him behave like that was shocking enough to stop Leo’s streaming tears, eyes widening at his childhood friend, stooping like that and exposing himself so fully. It felt wrong! Eros had always appeared so confident, so strong, he shouldn’t be on his back like that; Why…? There was a tiny voice in the back of his head, saying it was a trick, a way to lure the Cove wolf into a vulnerable position – even more than he already was – But…. This is Eros! For a moment, Leo was frozen, staring indecisively down at the other, his lips pulled tight over his teeth. Then Eros spoke, three simple words, and Leo’s lips quivered, tears once more brimming in his eyes. He had come here to accuse, to blame, but looking down at Eros now, seeing the honest care in his eyes… That’s not what I need! Taking a sharp breath, Leo briefly swallowed back the tears to give his old friend a very shaky smile. Then his knees gave way, and he crashed to the ground, barely cushioning himself before leaning heavily against the bigger wolf, head coming to rest on his chest. He breathed hard, fighting against the sobs until he had enough control of his voice to speak; “I just… I want it to be over. Can’t we just… do that? Stop hurting each other and…” He trailed off, lifting his head a little to try and meet Eros’ eyes through the blur of tears. He couldn’t bring himself to finish the thought out loud, though there was a clear plea in his eyes; …Be friends again. ”Speech" Thoughts

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