Silently, she waited as she cowered in the snow, the eyes that had drifted up to look at Raigo after she was done snapped back to the ground at her feet with his anger. Once he had finished speaking, she shuffled slightly, attempting to force her body backwards, though instead, it crawled forwards. Freezing in terror, injured ears lowered themselves against her nape before she spoke, attempting to force herself to leave, to get away while the getting was good. Before he took a shot at her like everyone else had.
Raigo had said he wouldn't leave Grizzly Hollow, and she didn't expect nor intend to ask him to. It had merely been a comment made during her explanation. Vlarindara had absolutely no intentions of asking the darker pelted Second to abandon his post as she had abandoned hers. What right did she have to do so? None. None at all. The fact that he'd wished she could find a pack to take her in gave the shattered hope that there was still something there a chance to mend - but with all the doubts swimming around in her own heart.. her own self loathing, she couldn't convince herself that she wasn't simply reading into things.
"There is nothing that I can say to defend what I've done. Nothing that I can do to atone for the damage done...or the lives lost because of it." Her breath hitched before she shuffled another step closer and stopped herself once again. No - turning away and not touching him would be best - he was disgusted enough with her as it was.. right? Getting closer would only put her closer to his jaws - jaws that were far stronger than she was. But on the other hand - she couldn't smell him from here. A scent that she sorely wished to be ale to take back with her.
The truth of the matter was, however.. that there were other packs out there, and she was certain that not a single one would allow her to live amongst them. Ruiko led his own pack, and knowing her history with him - she highly doubted that she'd be able to live in constant fear of the brute. Swift River was lead by the Tainns - who she was sure Ruiko still associated with and would warn them. After all, Swift River still had every single one of their pups - she doubted they'd want the one responsible for the deaths of Grizzly Hollows near them.
Vlarindara knew that she wanted to touch him - just once before she left. She would try to find a home.. but she couldn't guarantee that she'd find one. In fact, she honestly doubted she would even survive the winter. Perhaps it was a selfish desire to take something with her when she left, both this space near Grizzly Hollow, and this world.. or perhaps it was something else alltogether. Whatever it was, Vlarindara realized that during her internal war, she'd crept closer.. Almost close enough that she could stretch out her nose and touch his paw.
Not wanting to cause trouble for Raigo - if he carried her scent back to the pack, Vlarindara did just that, she stretched out slowly, staying as far away from him as possible so as not to get her smell on his hide. An attempt to rest the tip of her muzzle on his paw was made, to shove her nose gently into the lowest part of his leg. She was scared that he'd hurt her for daring to ..encroach on his space, but the desire to carry a fresh memory of his scent back with her overrode that fear. Though, Vlarindara wasn't sure what she'd do if the younger male pulled away from her in disgust and left.