Lost Lake fault lines tremble underneath my glass house

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

The onyx woman moved into position behind the tree with the warren of rabbits as her equally dark companion moved to hers across a tiny clearing. Mercury orbs glanced towards the girl to make sure she was ready before bracing herself. Creeping forwards silently, large audits stood atop her skull taking in all the sounds of the clueless rabbits. There were plenty down there, surely they could catch one for each of them and then some if they were lucky. Coming to a burrow entrance, Moonshadow took a deep inhale before letting out a deafening bark into the tunnel. Moments later a whiteish brown form flew right into her waiting jaws. Clamping down and quickly ending its life Moon released the first of their prey and began to growl and bark repeatedly. More rabbits came flying out of the tunnels. She drove the fleeing prey right towards Aquene for a perfect ambush.

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But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

She watched carefully as the older woman started to move, listening as the bark pierced the air and the rabbits started to scurry. There were so many of them! Aquene was quick to cut them off, diving for the biggest one she could find and quickly snapping it’s neck with her jaws before going for another one. She planned to catch as many as she could. Rabbits were fast, however. In the end, she was able to secure two rabbits, which was perfect because it left one for each of them. The rest of them scurried off, no doubt looking to regroup in safety. Perhaps they could track them again later and catch more, but for now, she carried the two she had successfully taken down in the fray in her jaws back over to the older woman, setting down the bigger one for her out of respect for her. It was how Aquene had been raised. “Thank you… I think that was more fun than I’d had in awhile.” She admitted shyly as she took a seat and started into the smaller rabbit.

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

Adrenaline coursed through her veins as she drove their prey towards her companion. Mercury orbs watched as the younger she wolf was able to catch two scurrying rabbits. The rest fled into the trees to perceived safety surely to return to their burrows once the women were gone. Her silver dusted tail wagged happily behind her as she picked up her catch and made her way to meet Aquene back at the den. Mercury orbs fell on the girls dark form as she too moved back to the den. A warm smile pulled at her inky lips as she watched the yearling set the larger of the two hares in front of her and then thank her. "It really was fun!" Moon replied doing her best to calm her breathing by taking a deep breath. Taking the hare Aquene had placed down into her maw and moved it back to the young girl. "Ya should have this one." She told the yearling as she moved back to her catch and laid down. "Ya gotta keep your strength up." Moonshadow remembered how important it was to eat while pregnant, even if one didnt want to. Moon knew the girl was young and wanted to help her. Maternal instincts always arose in the older woman, even before becoming a mother, but definitely more so after having some. She wanted to help as much as she could and was excited for pups. She missed when @Chan, @Nash, and @Staryn were little. So the thought of new little ones pitter pattering around made the Eastfall excited.

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But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

The other woman seemed pleased with the catch, which certainly made Aquene feel a little more at ease. She frowned slightly when she switched the rabbits, offering her the larger one as the woman assured her that she should have it, that she needed to keep her strength up… Aquene sighed softly but nodded and took it. “It doesn’t feel real… being pregnant.” She admitted softly as she took a nervous bite from her rabbit. “I never intended for this to happen… and I haven’t the slightest idea what I’m doing either… and it just… doesn’t feel real.” She felt calm around the woman, like she could trust her and turn to her for guidance. After all, she had been through this before, right?

She was scared. There was always a hint of fear around her actions. Realistically, she knew that Aleister wasn’t going to kick her out… just like she knew deep down that Aleister wasn’t just going to be a father to her pups this year, but to another’s too… but she was afraid. She didn’t know if that fear would be lessened had she remained at the Trail with her father and surrounded by her siblings… then again, if she had stayed home, she probably wouldn’t be pregnant to begin with either. “Were you scared at all?” She asked softly, looking for something that would ease her more and take away her worries. Maybe everyone felt as wholly terrified as she did.

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

The older woman was please that the young expecting mother accepted the larger catch. Moon waited for her company to take a bit before she began to enjoy her rabbit. Silver dusted audits pressed atop her dark skull as her look alike admitted that she couldnt believe that she was pregnant. She continued on to say she hadn't meant for it to happen and that she was totally lost when it came to knowing what to do. Moon supposed she was grateful for having watch Namid give birth to her last litter the year before having her own. Though that hadn't made it any less terrifying when the time came when she was pregnant with her first litter - or even her second if she were to be honest. Finishing her mouthful, the experienced mother gave Aquene a warm smile. "That is all very normal dear. It is a very scary thing, but ya arent alone." She offered. Moon knew in her heart the cove wolves would support both expectant mothers. And if they weren't the eldest woman would surely give them all a scolding.

Warm caramel orbs met cool mercury counter parts searchingly as Aquene asked if Moon had been scared. Her mind wandered back to her first litter. First noticing when her scent first began to change. The excitement that she felt, and showed everyone, wasnt the only emotion she felt. Despite having the love and support of not only her husband but her best friend and the rest of the pack, the first time mother was scared. Then after being attacked fear was really all she felt. As she thought about it, her fear has never really subsided, only shifted from one thing to another. To that day Moonshadow still had fears about being a mother, only now those were also mixed with regrets. Pushing the thoughts aside Moon let her smile waver just slightly as her gaze dropped momentarily. "I was absolutely terrified, and if I'm honest, I still am with somethings" silver pools moved back to the young girl in front of her. They lingered for no more than a second before her inky lips pulled back into a reassuring smile. "But having pups is like nothin' else that I've experienced. Bringin' them into the world 'n watchin' them grow has been nothin' but rewardin'." Moonshadow loves all her children with every fiber of her being, and would so absolutely anything for them.

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But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

Perhaps it was the way that Moon reminded her of her own mother, but something about the elder fae’s presence and aura put the girl at ease. It made it easier to function, in it’s own way. She worked on her rabbit, though she certainly took her time with it. After she left home, she had come to realize she had always taken food for granted so she always savored each and every bite now. The woman assure her that it was normal and that it was a very scary thing. “I… it didn’t seem like it. My mom was always fierceless. I helped deliver my younger siblings, and she seemed so determined the entire time. She never faltered.” Then again, perhaps her memories were clouded with the childlike ideation of who she wanted her mother to be. “I… I guess I just don’t really know how to do this without her.” She admitted again as she started to play with her food.

She continued on, and it did make her feel better though there was a part of her convinced that the other woman was just telling her what she wanted to hear. There was a light in her eyes that she couldn’t explain, perhaps her own maternal swell of pride. “But what if I mess up?” She asked again softly. “I’m so young, and I was stupid and reckless… I… what if I mess up?” She asked again with a worried expression on her face. She had been dwelling on these thoughts ever since she had noted the subtle changes to her body and the changes in her own scent. It was absolutely terrifying, all of it. That fear had kept her awake night after restless night too.

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

Moonshadow worked on her rabbit as she listened to the yearling. She spoke of her mother and how determined and fierce she had been. Aquene spoke of helping deliver her younger siblings and how her mother had never faltered before admitting how she didnt know how to do it without her. The onyx woman emphasized with her lookalike. Not having her own mother either added to the fear, but she wouldn't have made it without Namid or Neha. They weren't blood but they were family nonetheless and Moon wanted nothing more than to help both Aquene and Kip in anyway she could. "Your instincts as well as your memories of your mother will help guide ya." Moon offered. "She may not be physically here but I'm sure she is always with ya in spirit." She continued hoping it would bring peace of mind to the girl. Though she did not know of Aquene's mother's passing, she believed that family was always with them through their thoughts and love for them.

Moon was honest with the girl about her fears. Everyday she feared she might do something, or not do something that would negatively impact her children. She also still lived with the guilt and regret of losing her first and second born children in her first litter. Though she wouldnt share this now with the girl. Moon shadow didnt want to scare her. Her decision to not reveal that information just yet was confirmed to be a good one when Aquene asked "but what if I mess up?" She said that she was young and had been reckless and was clearly afraid of making a mistake. "We all made mistakes, its what makes us who we are. It's okay if ya do as long as ya learn from it. Ya are apart of this family now and we're here to help." Moon hoped this would help settle the girls nerves even though it probably wasnt what she wanted to hear. "No one is perfect, I've made plenty of mistakes and look how Chan and Nash turned out. I think they're pretty good wolves, though I'm their mother so of course I think that." She chuckled hoping that would also help ease her mind. It would difficult for the girl but Moon knew she could do it.

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But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

Aquene desperately hoped that the woman was right, and that her instincts and memories of her mother would kick in and help her out, still, she had always been skeptical of that which she could not directly prove herself, and this anxiety was no doubt going to wear on her until the time came for her instincts to actively kick in. The girl had tears in her eyes, a soft smile on her features as she remembered her mother. She wished she were here right now… except, Moon was right, she was here, in spirit. “I hope so… I like to think she’s watching over me from the stars.” She admitted softly, perhaps a little shyly too. She had never been too spiritual, but it was a concept she had adopted to fill that void left by her mother’s departure from the earth.

She didn’t want to believe that she was capable of making mistakes. When she made mistakes, people died… well, not all the time, but certainly when it came to her profession. “I just don’t want to mess up.” She didn’t want her children to hate her, and she also didn’t want them to want for anything… she wanted them to be happy and healthy as her parents had allowed her and her siblings to be. She listened intently to the mother’s words, heeding them carefully at the same time, a smile on her features. “I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and talking with both of them. They’re amazing wolves.” She could tell that Moon had done a good job. Chan had lifted her up when she had fallen, metaphorically, and Nash was fiercely loyal and cared so deeply about those he cared about. Those were wonderful traits to have.

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

The inky Eastfall woman had intended to offer the girl comfort by saying her mother was always with her, but had no idea that would be the only way she could ever have her mother. “I hope so… I like to think she’s watching over me from the stars.” Moon instantly felt guilty her ears flattening. Though after another look at the yearling told her that she hadn't been offended. Instead Aquene seemed to agree. This was relief but it still broke her heart to hear that this young woman wouldnt ever be able to seek the advice, love or comfort of her mother again.

The conversation turned to fears. The dark yearling explained how she was scared to make mistakes and didnt want to make any. That was something Moon could understand and believed everyone felt. She had only brought up her own boys as an example and not to fish for a compliment. Though she still very much appreciated it. "Thank ya dear. Though ya really shouldn't fret." She smiled at the young mother before taking another bite of her hare. "Everythin' happens for a reason hun. No matter what ya aren't alone. Ya have the pack but ya especially have me. Havin' been through it twice I may not have all the answers but I can certainly try." She met her younger companion's gaze and gave her a widened smile and thump of her tail. Moonshadow loved helping others especially those closest to her.

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But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

It had taken time to come to terms with it, and she still grappled with the grief from time to time, and the guilt of not being able to heal the sickness that had taken her life… she still had never seen anything quite like it, the sickness that had hit so hard and fast as her mother’s had. She’s simply lost her ability to breathe and then they had lost her. The woman hadn’t been offended by any means. It had simply… been, that was all.

There was no reason to fret? There seemed like plenty of reasons to fret. What if her puppies were born different? What if they were born with extra or missing limbs? She’d love them regardless but would she get tossed out? Deep down she knew that would not happen… not just because her babies would be born healthy but also that if they weren’t, no one was going to treat her or them differently, but it was this anxiety that had been plaguing her since her scent changed. She tended to catastrophize quite a bit. “I feel so tired all the time…” She explained. “And I go from eating a whole deer by myself to the thought of any food at all making me sick.” She knew it was normal, she had seen her mother go through it quite a bit… but it was still a little overwhelming.