Sacred Grove no turning back

assuming a few things that Ash would have told her, for my reference. Also, unless you wanna finish it here, I can activate Duck tomorrow - so was thinking of bringing him in here 'properly' c: up to you!

Yes, he said, and her face lit up. It would be several more moments until she realised there was a misunderstanding between them, but in those moments she imagined an even more glorious return to the lake than she had dared hope for. She knew that Poison Path was no more, at least not in any form that Bella had known it, but her emotional ties were not strictly to that pack name. Families come and go, groups form and disband, but she valued the more permanent, the eternal, the unchanged. No matter who lived there now, there was no chance that her lake would not still be there, serene and perfect, waiting. She yearned to see it again every moment of every day since she had taken her children from their abandoned home, and the anticipation was almost too much.

The first hint that there might be something wrong came when he spoke of distanced siblings, but it wasn't impossible that Veho and his fellow believers had come here without his littermates. Wolves had passed through this land all the time on their own, it was no odd thing. But his very next sentence brought the illusion crashing down, her expression falling as she realised their miscommunication. There were no others. He hadn't even been to the mountain before.

Though before she had clung to his every word, now they were fading from her ears, as she knew that she had done it again, let her heart run away with possibilities which were false. At least this had been a quick demise. She broke eye contact to look up at her mountain, once more holding mysteries from her, calling to her to follow it blind. No Poison Path, no Athena, and Ash lived in the forest - all that waited for her was wind and water and the unknown. It was fortunate that wind and water were two of her favourite things.

Duck was waiting, she remembered dully, but she also knew that she had started to zone out. Embarrassed by her rudeness, Bella looked back at Veho, his kindness not deserving such a dismissive attitude. Here he was, baring and sharing these deep parts of himself, and she had to go and fall in her well of self-pity again. What a wretched creature she was. "I'm sorry." This place... it tore at her emotions until they were raw, in a way that she hadn't felt since... well, since she had been a child. Perhaps...

"I... thank you. Maybe another time. I don't think I'm in the best place to..." She trailed off, not even knowing how to articulate it, and stood again; the count would have exceeded two hundred by now. Duck hadn't known of her time limit but it made her uncomfortable to leave him alone for long. Her other option was to break down in front of a stranger, and while he might have been an angel, Belladonna knew that she had to learn how to solve her own problems. The wind still owed her many answers to questions whispered in the dead of night. To place herself in the arms of her Ancestors... would either redeem or ruin her. Snake and Fox would never understand it, Crow would put up with it, and Duck - well, she didn't know anymore.

"Do not be sorry. It was only an offer," Veho replied softly, sensing immediately that something had changed between them. He had not meant to lead her own, only answer to the best of his ability. All the same, it was clear something he'd said (or perhaps, didn't say) had troubled the female enough that she had actually begun a retreat. While her feet hadn't actually moved, nor had the slender wolf turned, her expression was enough to inform the medic that she was withdrawing somewhere inside herself. Following suit, the pale man stood as well. His banner was held low behind him, relaxed as his posture. He meant no harm – he'd dealt with enough injured animals to know when to keep his calm and approach with caution, making it as obvious as possible that he meant absolutely no harm to herself (or anyone else she might care about, whether they were present or not – pain, physical or otherwise, did some very queer things to a wolf's sense of rationality). alerting Bella with a soft chuff, he stepped forward once, twice, and reached up to nose at her chin and lift her gaze. "Do not be sorry," he whispered again, twin moons searching her expression vigilantly. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Bella. Your relationship with the Ancestors is entirely personal, and if you do not wish to pursue it here, or do not wish to pursue it at all, that is none of my business, and know that I will not judge you for it. Just- Just know that you are not alone in this world, or the next, and you should not have to bear all your burdens alone if you do not wish it. I have a pair of ears made for listening, and a sturdy set of shoulders that could stand to be used."

I wish everyone had a Veho.

Being shown such unconditional kindness by a stranger after being emotionally rejected by a boy she had loved ever since he was born was almost enough to break her. By some miracle of willpower she maintained her composure, drawing a deep breath to steady herself. Veho stood, as if to show solidarity, his concern for her wellbeing plastered all over his face. Compassion, gentleness, love - she had tried so hard to teach this to them, to impress upon them their value above all else. She had failed, but some other mother had succeeded, and the evidence stood before her now.

Do not be sorry, he said, coaxing her eyes up with a gentle touch. It was absurd but her instinct was to apologise again, and that almost made her laugh. She nodded, the movement quick but slight, drawing strength from his even tone and soothing presence. The misunderstanding had taken a turn at dancing on her heart, the soaring height of possibility followed so swiftly by the fall of reality, but it was not his fault, and in no way did she believe he had intended it. How strange he must have thought her, and it was not even breeding season - her hormones were entirely stable, it was everything else which was not! Veho spoke calmly, and Bella found solace in his voice as much as his words. How long had it been since she had sat alone with someone who genuinely wanted to help her, out of goodness of heart alone? While Wolesh had never been unkind to his mate, the Calor patriarch had held additional motives for everything. When he had crooned at her, speaking pleasant things, it tended to result in her agreeing to something.

Veho asked for nothing more than to help. Searching his eyes, she tried hard to find deception in them, but could not. Even if his kind did not live on the mountain, he was here, at its foot, to usher her up. Who knew what other souls would bless her with their company when she arrived at its peak? "I'm s-" she began, automatic, but instantly remembered his dismissal of apologies, and a rueful smile finally cracked her bleak expression. "I would like that, to learn how to listen to them. I think I will need it."

She licked her lips, indecision tearing her two ways, and still she knew Duck was waiting. Two hundred fifty... "It's my children, Veho," she whispered, before she could change her mind. "They're breaking my heart."

When the woman caught her apology before it slithered free, he offered an encouraging smile as he bobbed his head. That was it, he thought, that was the idea. It would take some time to get used to – it would take some energy and dedication to actually break the habit. Allowing Bella to sort out whatever was flickering behind her sunlit eyes, he hummed softly, a soothing sound to fill the silence. He had no where to be…well, that wasn't entirely true, but he'd not told anyone of his brief venture, and no one would be expecting him back at any given time. The woman could have a few minutes to put herself back together – she could have until nightfall, if that's what it took. He'd promised Gaheris that he'd be back, no matter where his wandering feet took him, and he had every intention of making good on that fact. "It's not as hard as one might think," Veho assured his companion, voice dropping to a whisper as he nudged her cheek once more. The addition of children complicated the matter – he had to assume they were past majority, for the other loner did not look like she was nursing cubs (nor that she had recently weaned her pups from her milk). Whatever those troubles were, he did not pry, but the exact details were not for him to know. If she wished to seek the Ancestors, whatever she had to say was between the woman and the spirits she reached to. Clearing his throat, he shifted his gaze towards the forest. "I suppose the most important thing to understand, the thing most overlook, is the fact that they will never give you a direct answer. If that's what you seek, I discourage it. Instead, one must keep open eyes and ears, and an open heart. The answer will come where you least expect – a change in the weather, a new turn down the road, or someone you meet. They will present you with something different, and once put in your paws, you must decide whether or not to accept this. They will guide you…but you must trust them, first."

This is not how I thought this RP would go at ALL but I'm adoring it anyways.

Again came the soft words, spoken medicine for wounds of the mind and heart. For a selfish moment, she wanted to ask him to accompany them, just in case she needed reapplications of the salve. Such a desire was folly, for not only did the angel have his own life to lead - and, most likely, other unfortunate souls to mend - it would do her no good to rely on such a crutch. This was her chance to prove she was the superior parent - after all, Wolesh had gotten himself killed, and what kind of father let his own ego grow so monstrous that it lead to abandoning his own children? Bella was still here, pushing on, making what she thought were the correct decisions for the situation. Aware of her eldest three's dissatisfaction - though not happy with it - Duck's unexpected rejection had been her tipping point. To have her excitement of returning here tarnished by all of them so thoroughly, it had almost been too much to cope with. To let them know that she often doubted herself would have been self-destruction.

You must trust them. Bella was already quite convinced that Veho's spiritual guardians had smiled upon her, for they had gifted Bella with his company when she needed it most. She quietly added another promise to her list, to pay her earnest respects to them upon arrival at her destination, once she could sit on her rock and look out over the lake once more. She could think of no better way to show her gratitude. If they never paid her any attention again, the Ancestors would have already blessed her deeply.

She knew that Veho spoke of his Ancestors, that all of his pronouns referred to those he worshiped, but Bella heard another meaning. So wrapped up in compensating for Wolesh's harsh parenting, for Duck's health, for her parents' absence, that she had failed to trust her own offspring. Love them, yes, unconditionally and without hesitation, but trust? She trusted Fox and Snake to look after one another, Crow to behave with dignity, and Duck to know right from wrong, but these were the easy things. They were the traits of a whole, good person divided up among them all, and she knew that she did not trust them to embody those traits they had not received. Fox and Snake were rash and dramatic, Crow had taken too many of her father's moral values to heart and the idea of leaving Duck on his own for more than a few hours caused her physical pain.

"You're right." So caught up trying to fix everything, whether it was broken or not, Bella had sabotaged her own desperate efforts at perfection. This realisation did not come easy, but the sting was bearable - for it was not too late. They were not a fractured family, torn apart by consequence and wanderlust. Wolesh was gone but the rest remained, and Bella knew that they would be stronger for it.

"You're right," she said again, after a longer silence. She refocused her eyes on Veho, and smiled broadly. Whatever ailed Duck was something she had failed to see in her blinkered state, but no longer. She would let it come to her, just as Veho said. All she could do was have an open heart. Swiftly she reached forward to place a wet kiss on the angel's nose, a small repayment of the gift he had given her. Glancing up at the mountain, she felt that familiar swell of excitement which her son's moroseness had quelled. "I should get back to him now, I said I wouldn't be long. We have a long climb ahead of us. Veho, I - I hope to see you on the mountain one day. If there is anywhere my Ancestors would likely be listening, well... there are many beautiful places of my own I would love to share with you."

The kiss startled Veho right out of his train of thoughts – for a moment, gone were the Ancestors, Bella's children, and all other souls in this rich forest. It was a pinpoint in time, centered around them, and he could only stare in wonder at the woman before him in all her splendor. His tail wagged once, a brief splinter of the reverence he felt tumbling around inside his chest. As blessed as she might feel for this encounter, the male couldn't help but wonder if the Ancestors had arranged this for him, as well. Oh, there was no obvious benefit, but to meet someone so kind, so willing to do the right thing… …it did wonders for one's belief in wolf-kind. Making a quiet noise, the medicine man inched forward to return the gesture, though he was slightly more reserved. His own was but a gentle bump of his leathery nose to the bottom of her refined jaw, the smile that was hidden from his muzzle evident in his platinum gaze. "I would not keep you from your child," he replied breathlessly, having no lack of wonder for the power of a mother's love. Lucky were her offspring indeed, whether they were at the point in their life that they could actually appreciate such true, selfless emotion. "I wish you the best of luck on your climb, the both of you. I am sure I will return to this area someday, to…partake in the plant life – but I wish to see you again, certainly. I look forward to exploring with you, when the time is right. But I have someone I must return to as well." He took a step back before bestowing a bow upon her. "It has been my utmost pleasure, Bella. May the Ancestors guide you and your kin." Exit.