Secret Woodlands Pusher love girl

For @Nina! Can we backdate to March 28? I think that'll be like a week since Hollow disappeared?

He stood outside the entrance of his den without movement, enjoying the breeze that rocked his light tawny coat and allowing his honey colored eyes to trail off into the distance as if searching for something. He was not oblivious to the disappearance of Hollow, the male had gone missing for nearly a week and yet the pack seemed to have been functioning as though one of their leaders had not abandoned them; it angered and puzzled him, though he kept these thoughts to himself. He would no longer dabble on the past, it would do him no good, but he was concerned for the future of Secret Woods; what then would they do without an alpha male?

He pondered taking up the position, reclaiming his right as leader as he had been intending to do once Spring arrived but something, or rather someone, was holding him back. He was torn between following his gut and listening to his heart, as a part of him had begun to question his position in the pack as all the wolves he trusted were gone or had no longer considered him worthy of their time; what then did he have left in this pack? Shaking his pelt, for he was beginning to anger himself with so many "what if's", he decided then to talk with the remaining queen and ask her finally for her opinion. His relationship with Nina had been strained to the point where he had avoided her at all costs, this would be a meeting well overdue and he could think of no better reason to meet with her than over the future of Secret Woodlands, and his own purpose in the pack.

Allowing a breeze to pass him by, he lifted his skull into the drifting wind and released a howl that would hopefully beckon the woman to his presence. He knew she was probably busy with settling the pack since becoming its sole leader, but this was urgent matters and he figured she would take his call seriously, considering the tone and urgency he had given it. When the howl had successfully fallen from his mouth he took a few steps from his den and walked over to a nearby tree to lift his leg and mark it as his own; things would slowly begin to change around here, and with any luck, the pack would somehow, someway, once more become his.

(This post was last modified: Apr 04, 2014, 05:11 AM by Koda.)

Arla and Emma are the ish and made my pretties!
Koda will most likely always be accompanied by Chiron unless otherwise stated, or requested.

She still couldn't believe that he was gone. Some foolish part of her had clung onto the hope that he would return to her, just like Koda had; Hollow never came. She knew that there was no way that she would have been able to refuse him if he came back, it was the way of her nature. She had, after all, accepted Koda back into her family after he had returned...and he had been gone for much longer than Hollow. The once again pregnant woman was resting in the sun, of which she was hoping would warm her from the cool that still settled into the land. So far, the woman had suffered much loss in the past year: she had lost Tacoma, she had experienced the return of her former mate, Ashanti had left them, both of her children had left the pack, and then she had been ditched after being bred with. She should have learned from years past that she would suffer, but she was wise enough to cling onto the family that remained. Even Koda had stayed after everything that had occurred.

Eventually, the mother forced herself off of her paws and pushed herself forward, her golden brown head shaking slightly to get the dirt off of her fur before roaming her territory, looking for anyone who might need her assistance or any herbs that might be in early blooming. Now with Ashanti and Azariah gone Nina was once again the head healer and Aideen her new apprentice. She knew that Kashikoi would always help her should she ask of it, but usually, Nina was the first Medic on the scene. Sighing and shaking her head to clear her thoughts, her body froze when the piercing call of Koda echoed out to her. Pursing her lips slightly, the alpha made her way towards where her former mate was calling for her. It was quite obvious that Nina had gained a little bit of weight now that she was once again with children, and Nina hoped that Koda wouldn't point anything drastic out to her. Upon entrance, the woman lifted herself up and huffed softly as she looked at the creamy man, her single emerald eye gleaming at him from the shadows.

While in wait of his leader he resorted to pacing, a case of nervousness had overcome him at the events that could take place in this meeting; after all, the two had unfinished business. He wondered if he could pester her for closure, it was the least she could offer him after the turn of events that had taken place since news of their breakup, he felt that he deserved answers of some sort, she could at least tell him why Hollow had been chosen. Ironic how he had been accused of not being trustworthy from the very wolf who had disappeared, he wondered if Nina had found the sadistic humor in it that he had but figured she hadn't, her trust had been damaged and he felt for her. She didn't deserve to be hurt, she was a good mother and had probably chosen to bear children with the darker male as well; how they would fair without their father bothered him.

When the golden woman appeared he swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat and stopped his pacing long enough to take in her physique. She was larger, the result of pregnancy, and he felt his chest tighten with feelings of jealousy, betrayal and anger; those were supposed to be his puppies. Clearing his throat, for she did not approach him in the closeness that he had hoped, he addressed her slowly if only to keep his emotions in check. "My apologies if I interrupted something, I just wanted to know what the pack expected to do now that...you know, now that Hollow has gone missing." he wondered, expecting that the next qualified wolf for the job would be himself; he hadn't considered their current Beta. "are they his'?" he asked then, nodding at her protruding stomach-- nervousness made him point out the obvious. Swallowing hard, and wishing then to disappear, he stared into the single green eye of his ex-mate, his shoulders slumped in apparent defeat, "Nina, I...I don't know what's happened to us but I'm sorry. I just...I just wish that things hadn't turned out this way. I miss you so much, you don't even understand..." and he trailed off; he was all over the place. His gaze came to his large paws to avert her gaze, he had to keep his emotions in check, he was showing weakness and at that moment he did not care. He was vulnerable and only she would see this side of him, would she pick up the broken pieces?

Sorry this took so long...my life is a mess. <3

He was vulnerable and so was she. Right after it became apparent that she was to be bearing pups, Hollow had disappeared and in her frantic state, her brain had not fully processed what had happened and what would have to happen. She could hardly even understand what Koda was asking her and distractedly nodded her head, knowing that her heart was not in the conversation that was laid out before them. She couldn't get a mental grasp on what he was saying to her, but she tried as hard as she could to remember. She definitely did not want to seem like she was incapable of having a normal conversation with someone. However, when his words reached her ears, she could find no normal answer that she could give him. Her thoughts were muddled and confused, she didn't know what to say, and when she did speak, her words didn't make much sense, ”Understand....pain....not good enough....never I.”

Her former demons were once again returning to plague her in her time of vulnerability. What she wouldn't give to have Hollow's embrace surround her, or anyone's embrace for that matter. The stress that she was putting herself under was, no doubt, unhealthy for the pregnancy. Unfortunately her disheveled mind did not think of such. Her gaze grew much more distant almost frantic as she remembered. You know you will never be good enough, so why have you even tried. It's worthless. Inside of her own mind, sanity quickly slipped from the leader for long stretched of time, and as she recalled the horrible memories of her past, her lip trembled and the rational side of her hoped that Koda understood why she couldn't gather the courage to reply. She had been broken, once again, by a man that she had thought loved her through everything and would find his way back to her no matter what. But once again she had been fooled...and that was all she truly was: a fool.

A fight broke out between two male mountain goats. Hunt Opportunity

Sorry for this wait!

His gaze remained trained on her stomach, thoughts of resentment swirled in his head as she imagined what her brood would look like, how many she would have and whether Hollow would eventually return in time for the birth of his offspring--this thought was much too far-fetched. Despite the sadness of his queen he felt happiness overcome him with the possibility of a fresh start, with the younger male no longer in the picture he knew that competition for her heart had leveled out and for once they could focus on what went wrong with them. How did this grenade explode into so many tiny pieces?

His ears perked, trained on her voice, and the words that spilled were incoherent in their meaning, he could not be sure if it was the pregnancy or the pressure of what once was but he listened as though she had spoken in a complete sentence before finding his own voice. He wanted answers, "Do you feel that we can move forward once more and start over?" he attempted a second time and beat the dead horse even further. He did not want to let go of their relationship and the past, she held so much of his heart in his hands, how could she not notice the emotions he still held for her? She had been his everything once, and he would not let her go so easily, "It'll be like..." he trailed off, the words sounded all too familiar and he wanted to assure her that he had changed since then, "how would you feel if I challenged for alpha?" and he finally fell silent, his eyes searching hers.

The woman's brows creased in confusion as Koda spoke. Was he really asking her about this now...when her mate had just left her? While she was pregnant with another man's children? Her head turned away from him and tilted towards the towering trees above her head, looking for answers. She didn't know, or even trust Miccah very well but she did not trust Koda either. Closing her single eye for a moment, the alpha took a deep breath before releasing it, trying to reign in her wavering thoughts. She was nothing to this man, not any more, and she could not have herself crumbling beneath his persistent stare. The lady did not know what to do though. Her leadership with Koda had been much more compatible, and she didn't know how everything would work out with her and Miccah, considering she already didn't like the man very much.

Hardening her core, Nina turned back towards her former mate, making herself much taller than how she felt, her emerald eye blazing in power over the man. As her lips parted, her voice rang, clear and focused, ”If it is what you think is best, then yes. As I said before, it will take much more time for me to completely trust you...but...I'd rather have you by my side then....Miccah. If you do regain leadership...our relationship will be nothing more than friends, understand?” She couldn't bare the thought of having someone enter her heart again, at least not how Koda and Hollow once had. Her emerald eye settled onto the Reinier, letting her gaze pierce him, and almost challenging him to revoke her standards.

@Nina

As the question lingered, he watched his queens' emotions in silence, wondering how his words would affect her decision. He was fully aware of her predicament, the fact that another male had bred with her and his puppies lay growing in her belly but the heart was a difficult body part to tame, and as he stared at his ex he wanted everything to be the same. He wanted those puppies to be his, he wanted her heart to be his, and yet her cold stare spoke volumes that he was finally beginning to hear; she had no interest in him, possibly never.

He shuffled his feet beneath her gaze, feeling his body grow hot from the pressure of this meeting but he would not flee prematurely, she no longer had that power over him, though she did have a power that he could not understand. When she answered his question his ears fell back on his skull, throat growing dry from the response that she gave but within it held a glint of light that excited him; she would accept his rank challenge. That was the biggest step in their relationship to date.

He enjoyed the fact that Miccah was unfavorable to her, and he mimicked her feelings considering the fact that he knew the younger male's experience and age nearly made him incapable of leading them for long, it wouldn't be long before the king demanded his crown back. "I promise Nina, if that is what you want from me then I will respect your wish without complain. All I can ask from you is trust from this moment forward." and he fell silent to dip his head at her with respect, his tail swishing behind him. This meeting hadn't gone completely as he planned though it had gone in the direction he'd wanted, and now time was what remained, "What is it about Miccah that causes you to dislike him?"

(This post was last modified: Jun 24, 2014, 03:29 PM by Koda.)

Arla and Emma are the ish and made my pretties!
Koda will most likely always be accompanied by Chiron unless otherwise stated, or requested.

The loss of Hollow was still heavy in her mind while she was having this conversation. She missed him dearly and his disappearance would be a never ending reminder of what she had lost. It was not as if she knew she did not need the reminder, she just wished that there would be someone in her life that would be a never changing constant, but so far, she had encountered no such luck. As she listened to her former mate's words, she couldn't help the slight tense of her jaw. It just did not seem as though he was getting it through his brain that she had trust issues, and she had no other way to explain her problems to him. Trust was not going to come easy and he was just going to have to find that out on his own. Everyone always learned better from experience anyway, and it seemed like that was what Koda needed.

The next question the male asked threw her slightly off guard and she instantly turned her head to gaze upon him once again, her single eye still cold. Opening her jaws to speak, she spoke calmly and collectively, ”He told me he would take care of Ashanti, who is like a daughter to me, and he failed miserably in that aspect. And...Hollow ruled by me for quite some time...his transition as my partner was easy and natural, but Miccah and I just don't work well together, we never have.” Her gaze seemed to be lost for quite some time, her lips forming into a frown at the memory of Hollow's entrance into her life, which had indeed been on accident.

He stood staring at her, the woman who had stolen his heart and pledged a loyalty to and couldn't help the flood of emotions running through his brain, coursing through his veins, plaguing his heart. His time spent loving her had been in vain, but it had been his fault, he had caused the rift in their relationship and the aftermath was detrimental to say the least. He could see the lack of trust in her eyes, how easily she shied away from his kind words, as if they sliced her like a sword and inwardly he knew that his actions had been the cause, nothing more. He had not meant to break his green eyed dove, he had meant to love and cherish her and give her the word and he had failed, as he had failed as a father and a leader--how would he be able to pick up all these pieces once more.

He grew lost in his own thoughts and snapped too when the woman began to talk, discrediting the ebony leader as a failure and the words hurt him to his core. Had he really hurt Nina so badly that she trusted no one, would she even trust Hollow once more if he were to return to her? "I am sorry to hear that," he spoke, apologizing for the pain that he had put her through and apologizing for the way things had gone thus far, he wondered if Secret Woods would ever feel like home for her again, "I hope that if I reign once more, we can establish the kind of relationship you are looking for in a partner," and he dipped his crown, falling silent once more. He did not have any further words, and wondered what else his green eyed queen had to say to him.

(This post was last modified: Jun 30, 2014, 11:32 AM by Koda.)

Arla and Emma are the ish and made my pretties!
Koda will most likely always be accompanied by Chiron unless otherwise stated, or requested.