Cold Water Creek where we went wrong

@Phineas - late afternoon (Partly Cloudy — Current Temperature: 45° F/7° C)

So this was life now? Silence and avoidance and...Self-hatred. She'd been the cause of all of this. But it had been a few weeks now, and most negative emotion had subsided as she sorted out what she needed to do. Tomorrow she would head to Oak Tree Bend and confront Triell and Corinna. The woman hadn't been there, but of course she would have known by now. She needed to explain and all she could do was hope that he might hear her out. Like every other action in her life, she'd done it so thoughtlessly, so fueled by emotion that she simply let her words come out. There was no excuse. If she'd been grieving, then she ought to have stayed back with Hypatia while Phineas and the others went to hunt. Borlla was no diplomat, and that was doubly true when angry. She spoke not from her heart but from her brain that was firing all of its pistons and pumping adrenaline through her system.

No, she loved her brothers. If given a moment of clarity, she might have realized that all of it could have been resolved peacefully. Instead, she left her pack with empty bellies and her blood family with a sour taste in their mouths. All she wanted was to know that she and her family weren't immiscible. That she wasn't oil and they weren't water. Quietly, she tread along the edge of the creek, one ear twisted to the side as she listened for prey (or her packmates). She was tired of hiding and being ashamed.

(This post was last modified: Apr 21, 2014, 10:59 PM by Borlla.)

Lurking until the end of July - Please PM/tag me to get my attention

His figure remained aloof along the edges of the creek – one paw dangled lazily along the waters, though it was with a thoughtful glance his eyes skimmed the waters. With the thaw, the fish would be unsettling from the mud they had burrowed in for the winter, and in turn, the Glen pack could feast upon something fresh and new.. Granted, the return of the herds was certainly desirable, given the starvation they had endured throughout the colder months. Soon it would be time to hold a pack hunt.. Especially now that Borlla carried life once more.

He had seen the swell of her belly from afar – yet despite the fact he had helped create that life.. had even encouraged it, he still could not bring himself to truly look at her. Not after he had seen the white flag of her tail as she had fled the scene she had so created for the entirety of the pack. Phineas was no stranger to war – he had excelled in it during his youth and his reign over Asphodel Meadows. This was entirely different however – this included his mate’s family.. and in turn, affected their youth.

Disgruntlement had settled upon him that moment forward. His feelings for her shrouded in uncertainty, he had instead avoided her. Of course, it couldn’t last forever. She was his mate and he had promised himself to her. She was the mother of his children.

And with a stolen glance upward from his offhand duty, his fiery eyes would fall upon her figure, loping along the creek edge, seemingly lost in her own thoughts as well.

Pale brows wrinkled over sad honeyed eyes as she thought of just how foolish she was. Walk? to Oak Tree Bend? No, she couldn't. Her children would not be pawns in this game. Eyes squeezed shut, she cursed herself quietly for being so selfish. Last year, they'd made the perilous journey over the mountain, and this year, she might be wise and remain close to home, especially so late in her pregnancy. Lifting her eyes again, she wobbled onwards, trying to focus on something simple: the feel of grass under her paws. How long had it been? For months, a thick blanket of snow had covered this entire land, and now she could feel the grass again.

As she came around a slight bend in the creek, she spotted him and stopped abruptly. Borlla seemed to retreat into herself as she looked upon him, heart beating audibly in her chest as she held onto her breath for a moment. It was hard not to be ashamed before the one you loved, especially when you knew they were furious with you. "Phineas..." She worried aloud, taking a tentative step forward, then another and another. Feet still laid between them, damned space. The words worked around in her mouth; they tasted sour and she was not keen on letting them free, but they needed to be let go. "I messed up. I know. I will fix this." Her voice wavered, but she tried to stay strong, desperate to prove to him that she would make this right.

(This post was last modified: Apr 28, 2014, 12:33 PM by Borlla.)

Lurking until the end of July - Please PM/tag me to get my attention

She had not run away when seeing him.. whether she sought him out, or simply stumbled upon him, he did not know. But there she was, and the moment her voice washed over him, his chest tightened with a light ache, pulling him from his daze. Glancing over her more carefully now, his fiery eyes regarded the she-wolf he had taken as his mate -- so beautiful without even realizing it, and yet even the sight of her heavy with his children did not elicit the loving stare it once would have.. as if he had been memorized by her. Now, he felt nothing but disappointment and anger.

A frown flittered across his features if only for a moment before disappearing. Lifting himself then, he did not make to close the distance between them, instead, he felt his lip twitch back in a quiet growl. You challenged your brother's pack and then ran. There was a small pause as he felt the disgust seep in to his tone, his eyes flashing harshly. Who was she? You left James under attack, and very well almost got the rest of us in a physical fight. You left us behind. He stated it as openly as he could -- not comprehending the decision she had come to. The action she had taken. He had never witnessed Borlla flee from a fight before, physical or emotional, and yet she had that very day.. the very day she had encouraged it. And then she had left them to take the damage of her decision without even a word. How do you fix that?

That flicker of a frown upon his muzzle sent a dagger into her heart. What had she done? She'd failed him. Not even her words could fix this, her promise to make this right. Winter still hung on as long as this lingered. Her eyes dropped, angry at herself. Perhaps he would not believe her, but she knew she would fix this. Borlla would put this winter in the past. Her hackles rose uncertainly as he growled and began to speak. Everything he said was true and she began to relive in. The disgust in his tone rang in her ears, but she felt it as well, homegrown in her chest. The children within her stirred, and she felt something trying to break inside of her again. No. No, she would not live through this again. Though her emotions had turned against her, the woman knew that she could fix this. And she would tell herself that until the day she did it.

Her eyes lifted, wondering if he even wanted to hear her excuses, her logic, as faulty as it had been. Her jaws parted, grasping at words. "I was...angry and upset and scared." Borlla's voice was quiet as she laid the words out before him, but mostly to herself as her eyes dropped again. "I'll speak to Triell, I'll apologize to everyone until I'm dead...Phineas, what do you want me to do?" She pleaded with the man, her mate, desperate. Her haunches fell to the ground as her legs began to ache from the weight she carried.

(This post was last modified: May 31, 2014, 06:54 PM by Borlla.)

Lurking until the end of July - Please PM/tag me to get my attention

Her words could have been meaningless to him – the male regarded her quietly as she spoke, knowing she felt desperate in her own disgust and upset of what had occurred.. and yet he could muster any pity for her. Instead, his own anger still flared within his chest, and a derisive snort escaped him when she questioned what he would have her do. Fix whatever happened between you and your brother if it’s important to you, he uttered then, his tail giving a flick of agitation. I am no stranger to conflict with neighbors, but a war between my pack and theirs would affect me far less deeply than you, he spoke, his tone flattening with each syllable.

But if you want to fix us, he began, his eyes glinting as they lifted to stare her in the eyes, a challenge not to her rank, but to her – then prove to me I can trust you again. Because as of now, he no longer could.

He waited then, to see what she would have to say on the matter – his paws burned for an exit, to leave her presence and the entire situation, but he could not.. nor would he. Despite his rage at her decision, and the effect it had on them, he could no more turn his back on her then he could his own daughter. Borlla, despite everything, was his.. and he, in turn, was hers.

The utter trust and respect before had simply been a bonus between them.

But it would seem to not be enough.. and as he waited for her response, it only became apparent then that none would come. With a grunt of disgust, the ivory man did bend to his initial whim.. and he turned, walking away from her.

(This post was last modified: Aug 13, 2014, 08:40 PM by Phineas.)