Spieden's usual grunt heartened her as the woman took a seat next to her. Sahalie wiggled a little closer: enough to feel the heat radiating from the large woman's body, but not enough to be clingy. Other wolves were arriving as she made herself comfortable, like Kyna's mother — who, surprisingly, also chose to sit near the dark Tainn girl — and her father's "woman." There were so many things to watch for and Sahalie did not want to miss any of them, though this left her little time to analyze all the things that snagged on the peripherals of her attention: the strange smile shared with Aponi and Drestig, the smile reserved for Sahalie herself, Naira who bumped Spieden on the muzzle but chose to move and sit next to her dad. Suddenly Kino slid in between Aponi and herself, greeting her with a grin and a casual yawn. Despite all the anxiety brewing in her stomach she somehow found herself giggling at the boy. Being so brightly colored, it was impossible not to notice and Kyna entered the scene with her little wiggling tail. Since both side of Sahalie were already taken it would not be possible for the girl to sit with her, but she was only on the other side of Aponi, so she was very close. The dark girl leaned forward to peer around Aponi's silver legs at her daughter. She wasn't sure why her voice was so hushed as she whispered, "
Hi Kyna!"
Serach, Drift, Jessie, and Leotie trickled in while she wasn't watching. They sat a little ways off, with Jessie sitting the farthest away of all. Not that that was abnormal, but it only added to the growing tensions. Sahalie made sure to offer the small woman a bright smile. Even if the scout did not feel comfortable being physically close with anyone, there was no reason she could not feel included. Sahalie didn't quite understand that Jessie truly wanted all this distance. Trying not to forget anyone, Sahalie bobbed her head for her beaver expert Serach, and stuck her tongue out at Drift when her eyes fell upon him. And for Leotie there was a smile and an eager tail wave. She hoped the woman was getting along alright.
Drestig's gaze zoomed straight over Sahalie's head to Jessie, but again Sahalie had the quickness only to catch the gaze and not to figure its meaning. There was some formal niceties, but the leader waved them aside to get to the point. Sahalie felt a bubble burst in her stomach. She felt excited but also queasy. She did, after all, like surprises. But despite saying so, Drestig did not quite reach the destination of the meeting immediately, instead opting to talk about how long he had lived as a member of the Bend. Alright. The girl blinked and hoped she could maintain her composure.
And the he said it. He said the words. Instantly he anxiety boiled away completely, leaving just an empty kettle of searing dismay. Sahalie knew so little about the pain of this forest, but she knew most of the painful history: the loss of Corinna, of Ruiko, of Ice, of Rissa. Mostly just the Tainns. How Drestig fit into this, she was not sure. No one had ever spoken to her of Silver. Perhaps that was why the girl didn't get it, why the forest was so dark to a man whose coat was much darker than the blue tinged woods. Sahalie could fix this, she had
tried to fix everything: all the sadness she had sensed since her very earliest days. She had poured everything into being a positive influence for her pack mates, for never giving up on them.
Was that was Drestig was doing?
Her mouth hung open as she readied her voice to launch itself into the fray, but already the man was speaking again. He wanted them all to come with them to some place else. Her eyes follow Drestig to her father, and she clung to him. What did he think of this, did he
know? Suddenly her eyes were leaping from wolf to wolf, her
family. What did they want? In the back of her head there was a voice that was explaining to her all the courage it took for Drestig to say this. And a voice even louder that screeched he was a coward.
"
But this is my home. It's the only one I've ever known," her eyes welled with tears as she pleaded to no one in particular, "
Everything I love is here. The bad memories are in you, you're going to take them wherever you go. How can you know what's waiting for us out there? If you can't make anything good of this place, then you can't say that you'll protect us from anything bad here." Her thoughts came out in a jumble as her eyes switch back and forth between the members of the congregation beseechingly. She was not sure where they stood, or even where she stood. Guilt swept over her in repeated waves, feeling that she had no right to say the things she did, to open the first wounds of the meeting, to cause more pain. Falling silent she leaned in to her peppered coat of Spieden, unsure of what to do anymore.
(This post was last modified: Mar 03, 2016, 06:33 PM by Sahalie.)