Hearthwood River Tears of a Clown

Inna has returned. All are welcome in this thread. @Kisla @Lekalta @Aleksei @Lilya @Lachesis

After leaving Lorcan she'd traveled to Hearthwood at a moderate pace, Inna wasn't in a huge hurry to cross the border into Hearthwood. It was the first time in her life but as her mind still swam with memories of her time with Lorcan over the last two weeks she moved forward toward her home. She wondered if any of them had taken notice she'd been gone and had disappeared so soon after returning from her mission with Aleksei.She wondered if they would even pick up the scent of the agouti healer that still hung to her pelt. Two weeks was a long time to think about things that had been bothering her for so long.

Poor Lorcan, the first wolf she'd been able to talk to about it all she’d lost it. The ebony Baranski knew it wasn't like her to be so...unglued. As the border came into view Inna knew she would have to put her mask back on and hide the things she'd expressed to Lorcan and more. She'd come to realize this was her home and she'd been the only Baranski to not abandon it in times of hardship. It was her father's legacy and she felt it should be hers. Inna hadn't worked out how yet but until that time she would continue on as she had before leaving with Aleksei.

Before leaving with Lorcan she had caught her sister’s scent in the territory, so it seemed Lekalta was back. It was a conversation Inna wasn’t particularly keen on having but have it she would because like Aleksei she would give her littermate a chance. Twilight surrounded the ebony Baranski as her paws carried her over the border, her sister's scent was still there. Inna wondered if Lekalta would have the courage to face her or if she'd just run as she had when their father died.

The markers were strong as she finally crossed into Hearthwood territory, her pace slowed now that she'd made it. Darkness would be upon the lore soon but Inna didn't rush to the den, instead she plodded along tired from her journey.

(This post was last modified: Mar 22, 2017, 09:41 PM by Sahalie.)

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Aleksei had been worried about Inna, to say the least. She had left before him, to return home, and left again, been gone for weeks. It was a little unsettling, and he could only wonder if it was because of him that she had set out again. To find him, perhaps? But why would she do that? He was fine, he told her as much before she left.

If she didn't come home soon, the possibly that he might have to set out to find another wayward sibling would be staring him in the face with a crooked grin. But could he risk it? His mother, she needed him—no, she needed all of them. He knew it, Inna knew it, too; she wouldn't just leave, would she? She knew how their mother had felt when her other children, not just Aleksei, had left the nest. He had no doubt in his mind that the young Baranski couldn't do that to Kisla. He conscience wouldn't allow it, at least that's how he chose to think of it.

Rather than dwell on the sourness, Aleksei busied himself with border patrols, hopeful that he might pick up Inna's scent. Maybe he'd discover her the night she decided to wander back home before dark—wishful thinking, he knew. Regardless of whether it exposed his younger sister or not, it gave him a chance to reinforce Hearthwood River's territory boundary with his own scent once more, solidifying for him that this was home, that he was still welcome here despite all his wrong doings. It was self reassurance, more than anything.

He was in the middle of testing scents—checking the prey filtering through the forest—when he stiffened, tilting his head in the direction of a familiar scent: Inna. The girl was finally home. What a relief! And yet … something unsettled him. Something was different.

Aleksei took to following her, catching up to her with ease. Her pace was slow, almost tired, and his brows furrowed as he finally started to figure out just what was wrong. It was only when he was truly close that he was rocked by surprise and disappointment in equal measures. He faltered in his stops as he gazed at her dark coat against the approaching darkness that came with twilight. A frown etched itself on Aleksei's features and he broke the quiet because how could she have let this happen? How could she have made this decision?

“Inna,” he started, voice strained with disbelief because that smell clinging to her, the one that wasn't hers, was definitely an outsider; it was definitely a male, and there was no mistaking the scent of … of mating. “What have you done?”

(This post was last modified: Mar 22, 2017, 09:44 PM by Sahalie.)

Let the roots & soil drink of me
Whispering leaves & pointing branches will tell them where I'm lying

There had been many times during her journey home where she'd wanted to return to the meadow with or without Lorcan. The idea of returning to Hearthwood when she still held such anger towards her family for abandoning her and her father's legacy. It was a daunting thing for her, to have to hide how she truly felt. She still loved them all, they were her family but could she trust them? Could she trust that they wouldn't just up and leave her again one day?

Inna wanted to believe she could trust them that she was overreacting about it all but the other part wasn't so sure. To leave her as a pup right after the passing of her father when she was still grieving herself with Hearthwood in her paws. Yes Lachesis had been there and Lilya but she had been left to help keep the pack alive when she was still so young. Inna had never been too impressed with the woman as alpha. The ebony Baranski had to make sure that never happened again and now that she was an adult she felt she could finally do something about it. Inna trusted Lachesis to do right by the pack and her father's memory but for how long could he remain?

Crossing the border into her home was bittersweet, she would have to go back to hiding her true feelings and pretend she was the same old Inna. The two weeks she'd​ been with Lorcan she'd been able to be herself, to not have to hide anything. It had been the break she'd needed and she didn't regret the decision she'd made to what she had. If it was going to be with anyone she was happy it was with him and she knew it couldn't mean anymore than it did. They were friends with their own packs and their own placed in them. They had their lives they had to get back to and all she could do was hope to see Lorcan again soon for the hunt. She truly did like hunting with him, they worked so well together.

Crossing the border her sister's scent was there as it was the day she had returned from the mountain. She still had yet to see Lekalta and wondered if her littermate might be avoiding her or just hadn't had the chance. Inna would give her the benefit of the doubt since she had been gone for two weeks. As much as she wasn't sure she wanted to have that conversation she also was curious what her sister had to say for herself.

Another scent also reached her, Aleksei, had he come back finally? The Ebony Baranski had been worried she'd never see her brother again, that he may never accept defeat when it came to Karina. It seemed he might have finally given up the search and come home, he hadn't broken his promise. This was the first smile that had crossed her features since she'd left Lorcan even if the two of them hadn't separated on the best of terms.

Inna was happy that her brother had returned to the river and she hoped he was a little better then when he'd left. She was not expecting to hear his voice behind her which caused her to jump a little before she whirled around to face him. “Aleksei, Welcome home,” she said offering him a smile, “I'm happy to see you back.” She had not missed the accusatory note in his tone as he asked her what she had done which caused her head to tilt to the side slightly, “I'm not sure I know what you mean,” she replied ears flat against her head, “When did you get back? I've missed you,” she said taking a cautious step toward him in light of his tone. Inna wasn't sure how to explain where she'd been which she knew she would since he had caught her coming back.

(This post was last modified: Mar 22, 2017, 09:44 PM by Sahalie.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Her step forward caused Aleksei to take a step back, and he gave a low growl as his anger flared up—how could you? Indeed; how could she? Inna had no right to do this, to breed outside the pack with a stranger and come waltzing back in with his stench radiating off her. He couldn't miss that overpowering smell. It was clear that she had clear spent a lot of time in his company, and that infuriated Aleksei more than anything. It felt like a slap in the face, it felt like betrayal. All that talk of family being important, her loyalty to their mother, and she did this? How dare she leave Aleksei to search and stumble through his sorrows alone, just so she could go and fuck a man? 

God, the smell. It was overstimulating his senses in the worst way. This was not the scent of his sweet younger sister, this was not the smell of the girl he had spoken with only a few weeks before. This was sin and it burnt. His throat felt tight and he swallowed thickly in the hope that it would clear his airway. His nose was burning, as if something had crawled up his nostril and taken to biting at his sinuses. He wouldn't be able to forget that scent—whoever this man was, he was known to Aleksei. Not by name, but by something that could be tracked for miles.

How unlucky for him.

“Don't,” was all he could say at her words, muzzle wrinkling as his teeth flashed in warning. “Don't play innocent with me. You know what you've done.” Another step back. “Did you even think of what our mother would say? When she inevitably finds that you fucked a stranger, what will she say?” Aleksei felt disappointment well up inside him. He felt disgust, too, and some degree of dread—what would @Kisla say? Karina had been allowed to keep her pup within the territory of Hearthwood, yes, but that was due to the passing of Naia and the necessity of another female who could feed the newborns. What of Inna?

“How could you, Inna?”

Let the roots & soil drink of me
Whispering leaves & pointing branches will tell them where I'm lying

Her ears flattened against her skull, her head lowered as her brother showed his anger toward her. His step back, the growl, she paused a whine leaving her throat. Could he hurt her, his baby sister? Inna worried he could do to her what she'd seen him do to Kyrios but she stood her ground ready to take whatever he wanted to do to her. She didn't have any regrets for what she'd done, it was a decision she had not made lightly and she would suffer whatever consequences came with it. Unlike the rest of her family she didn't run she had faced it all and she would face this, her brother and his anger. Could he stay angry with her forever? Inna knew she would have to wait to find out.

One word and a flash of teeth was a clear warning but it was the was what he said next that set her tail lashing behind her. “I won't,” she said simply, “But don't presume to know anything about what I've done Aleksei and you can be angry all you want I won't stop you.” Her ears came forward as he took another step back from her asking about their mother. Inna scoffed as she took a step toward him, “Will she even care what I've done? Am I that important to her that she even noticed I was gone? Did any of them notice that I was gone? What will she say? I don't know but I can't imagine it will be anything that will be supportive or understanding. It will probably be just as you are being now.”

It was further proof of how much her family truly cared about her. Aleksei, angry with her because of what she’d done instead of being her big brother and being there for her. Inna didn't imagine anything different from her mother, she would be foolish to expect her mother to be a mother and not an alpha. All she could hope now was that her mother would surprise her and show her the love and support she craved from Kisla.

‘How could you, Inna?’

“How could I?” She repeated quietly, “Because he's not a stranger, he's my friend and he has always treated me well. He has always made me feel important and that I mattered, and he has always been so encouraging when I told him of my goals. He has been what I needed in my life and he is a good man,” she explained her tone remaining quiet and calm, “Is there something wrong in being with someone like that?” She asked meeting his gaze.

After all wasn't Lorcan to her what her father had been to her mother? Sure she was only friends with the agouti healer but that didn’t mean he couldn't be just as important to her. His friendship meaning the world especially after their two weeks together. She didn't want to imagine her life without his friendship but she feared that she might have to accept that reality.

(This post was last modified: Mar 22, 2017, 09:45 PM by Sahalie.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Shallow water has trapped several fish in a small pond. Hunt Opportunity

Who was this woman—no, this stupid and naïve girl—staring back at him? She talked bigger than she was, acted like she had seen years when she had seen nothing. Her father had died, yes, and of course it had been tough, but at least she had gotten to say goodbye when she helped to bury him. What hardship was there in being with your family, grieving together? Aleksei wanted to scream. She had gotten it easy. He had come home to see everything ripped apart, he had carried the guilt that it was his fault, he had grieved for his father alone because everyone else had already moved on when he could not.

Maksim Baranski had been a father, the greatest man Aleksei had ever known and ever would know, and he would not simply forget him as quickly and easily as it appeared everyone else had (save for his own mother). “I know exactly what you've done, Inna. You've bred, when it's not your place to do so, and now you're daring to defend yourself like a child who thinks she knows best when she knows nothing.”

And then Inna took a bold step over the line. She shattered the trust that Aleksei, she did the one thing he could not forgive. She dared to disrespect Kisla.

He felt the blood rise to his cheeks, felt it run like molten rock beneath his skin, felt it cause his hairs to prickle. That this girl, his own sister, would imply Kisla didn't care about her children, despite letting them hurt her over and over, only to welcome them back into her arms? It was the words of an idiot to Aleksei. Maybe Inna wasn't the role model, shining example of a daughter she thought she was.

She was ignorant. Immature. She was portraying herself as victim of something that had no relevance. It was infuriating.

He wouldn't stand for it.

“How dare you?” His voice was deathly quiet as he took a step forward, no longer backing away—his voice rose with every syllable 'til a snarl was on his lips and a wall had closed around his heart. He couldn't trust her—he couldn't trust any one but @Lachesis and his mother. “After everything she's been put through, after all she has done to be the best mother she can be, you dare imply she never supported or cared? Never loved? Never cherished?” He wanted desperately to grab her muzzle, to shake her head, to remind her. He wanted to—oh, he wanted to—but no. No, no, no.

“Just like me, you have been spoilt by her love and believe you deserve it, even when you scorn her and hurt her and break her. You don't deserve it. I may have left her, yes, and I'll never forgive myself for that, but at least I didn't come swanning back into her life with a child, having had my fill of another wolf's dick, expecting her and the pack to feed it every scrap of food, every ort left behind because it's family.”

A bitter laugh slithered between his clenched teeth. His mouth moved without thought, waves of emotion crashing against a crumbling cliffside. “I see. He's your friend. That makes it all okay then, doesn't it? I have to ask though; do you fuck every male friend you have, Inna?”

Let the roots & soil drink of me
Whispering leaves & pointing branches will tell them where I'm lying

Inna couldn't believe what she was hearing as he spoke about her breeding when it wasn't her place to do so. She didn't completely disagree about it not being her place but what who was he to condemn her. It was only weeks ago that he had been out chasing their sister who had done the same thing. It had been Aleksei chasing her while Inna followed behind like the good little sister. Worried about his well being, making sure he was okay, all the while it was Karina he sought. Inna narrowed her eyes as the realization that she meant nothing to her brother as well, that he could be this angry with her.

She stood up to her full height and looked her brother in the eye because he needed to know that what he was doing was hurting them as siblings. Did he even care? “So it was okay for Karina to do the same thing? Were you just as angry with her Aleksei as you are with me? Or is she some perfect angel in your eyes?” It hurt that he would be as such toward her when Karina had done the same thing.

It seemed questioning how much her mother loved her, had been there for her and supported her through her life had been the wrong thing to do. “You're right Aleksei, I have no right to question my mother but you weren't here and you didn't see what I went through. Yes she lost her mate and I lost my father and was left to grieve for him alone.” Then Inna stopped, why was she even trying explain herself and why she felt as she did? Why was she trying for a brother who no longer cared for her. She could hear it in his voice, the snarl, the laugh and she knew she had list her brother. The one who had promised her that he would never leave her and now he had because he couldn't or wouldn't see.

Was this what she was to expect from her mother? Her sister? Would they cast her out when they had let Karina return time and again? Defend a man who had betrayed them all? Was Karina more important to them than she was. She just looked at her brother as his mouth kept moving as he shouted at her. What did it matter anymore. He was yelling at her about pups she didn't even know she was carrying and all she could do was shake her head, that wasn't how she expected it to be. She couldn't say that, it was a waste of breath.

Her gaze snapped back to him as the realization of just how much he didn't​ care if he hurt her. For a moment she just looked at him in shock at what he was implying. Once again her tail lashed and her ears flattened as she stepped forward a growl rumbling in her throat. “I am not a common whore,” she snarled, “But apparently that is all I am to you so why are you still wasting your breath on me? I can't possibly be that important to you.”

She was done trying to defend herself to a man who had only just come back into her life. Made her believe he truly cared about her and making his absence up to her then promising he would never leave her. She was done with a man who could speak to her as such and not even care to hear her out, she wouldn't waste her breath. What was the point really?

“Do what you're going to do and get it over with, I'm tired of waiting.”

(This post was last modified: Mar 22, 2017, 09:45 PM by Sahalie.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Aleksei's head was reeling. What the hell was Inna saying? How did any of this relate to the conversation—well, argument. Did she really think that this kind of self righteous, self pitying prattle was doing her any favours?

She started with Karina, and Aleksei could only let out a scoff of disbelief. Inna's victim complex was really shining through, and it was starting to thoroughly piss him off. She was shoving words down his throat and he almost wondered if she was even hearing herself. It was an obnoxious brand of “you love her more than me, you think she's the special one”, one that wasn't attractive in the slightest. “You don't think I was furious with Karina when I found out what she did? I thought it was fucking stupid of her, just like it was stupid of you!” 

He snorted, nostrils flaring like an ox. “The only difference is that Karina was—is—suffering from—from something! But what's your excuse, Inna?” He felt like he was rambling, like he should stop the stream of words pouring from his mouth somewhere, find some way to explain his thoughts without going on and on, but he couldn't. The anger, the disappointment, the disbelief was all just … just too much. “You're perfectly capable of your own thoughts, you aren't hallucinating about some almighty invisible ghost wolf in the stars! You're sane! Which makes your selfishness all the more disgusting. You'll drag the actions of someone sick and look down on them and what they did, but then do it yourself and think it's okay. Hold yourself to the same fucking standards you hold others to. You aren't better than them.”

Aleksei was a very reactive wolf. It was hard for him to keep cool in situations that riled him up. He thought he was okay—he thought that he'd come home and start to calm down, start to let go of that hurt and that anguish, that suffocating guilt that left him wheezing for breath between sobs, but here he was, staring every mistake he'd ever made in the face. I should have been a good role model, I should have gone home with her he told himself, and then he snapped back with no, she did this to herself and you can't blame yourself for something you couldn't prevent. He wouldn't blame himself for this one. He refused.

“You're so fucking far up your own arse you can't see that you had wolves around you, who loved dad just as much as you did, grieving too. Ones you could have confided in then and there. But, no, you're right! Poor little Inna, the victim in her father's death.” Her stance on this situation was laughable, really. He wanted to guffaw in her face, snort and howl his baffled amusement, but the sound wouldn't come out and it tasted sour on the tip of his tongue. 

“You should have approached mum, Inna. You can bark all you want about how she left you to grieve alone—which sounds like complete bullshit, by the way—but the fact she had to go to her family down south for comfort speaks fucking volumes. Why did she have to be the one who came to you? Why couldn't you do it for her?”

Perhaps it had simply suited Inna more to be the victim. God, she loved to craft on the spot pity me points, didn't she?

“Fuck off,” came his own snarl, shortly followed by a snap of his jaws. He took a step forward to match her own. Just try to intimidate me. “Do you know how ridiculous you sound? You don't know what happens when a man penetrates you, but you know what a whore is? You're a liar. But again, it suits you to play the part of a pup, and it suits you to pretend the whole world is against you when one person dares to point out that you're wrong because it goes against your own holier-than-thou attitude.” Louder now, so anyone approaching could hear, could  know—they inevitably would find out anyway. Why not try to ensure that it was sooner rather than later? 

“For once, Inna Baranski, you're fucking wrong! You made a mistake! You fucked a man and expected no consequences! You're my sister, but you're an idiot, and I'm making sure you know it.” Aleksei stood his ground, a blade pushed into stone. Steadfast. Unwavering. “And I'm not going to do anything. Wait all you want. You can act like you're better than me all you want, but you're not. You don't get to act like I'm the villain here. You're the one wearing your sin's scent.”

(This post was last modified: Mar 22, 2017, 09:52 PM by Aleksei.)

Let the roots & soil drink of me
Whispering leaves & pointing branches will tell them where I'm lying

More than ever Inna wanted to be back in the meadow and at this point she didn't even care if she was there all alone. The more Aleksei went on about Karina and how wrong she had been about that, how she had an excuse because she had hallucinations and believed in since ghost wolf in the sky. Inna wouldn't deny that Karina was insane but what if she'd had the capacity to make the exact same decision? Inna wanted to tell him that he was wrong that Karina had been able to make the decision but the truth was she didn't know. All she could do in that moment was shake her head, what excuse did she really have? That she was angry?

He then went on to attack her about her mother and her father's death and everything that came with all of it. All the emotions she'd felt as she watched each one of her family members leave Hearthwood while she'd remained. He didn't know because he hadn't been there, he had run away along time ago and now he wanted to come back and judge her for her actions. Now he wanted to be the big brother she'd always needed. She loved Aleksei, she did just like she loved everyone in her family but she couldn't help what she felt.

The more he spoke about what she had done wrong and what she could have done right she wanted to believe he was wrong about all of it too. Maybe after Orren and Lekalta had left something just went wrong and it was only salt on the wound when her mother had left for Oak Tree Bend.

She winced at his harsh words hurt by the accusations that he continued with calling her a liar and telling her how ridiculous she sounded. She wanted him to stop, she didn't want to believe that who he was describing, had been describing was her. She was better than that and yet he had thrown everything back at her laying it out why she was wrong every single time.

Her anger dissipated as the desire for the ground to swallow her up overcame her. Her gaze went to the border, she wanted to run all her confidence gone and she didn't want to face any more of what had just been given to her. He was right she was still just a pup and with stupid puppy views of the world. Another glance to the border, did she really even deserve to be a part of Hearthwood any more? Did she deserve to call herself a Baranski? Of all of her mother's children she felt like the worst of them.“I'm sorry Aleksei,” she uttered almost whispering tears starting to form in her eyes as she looked into his. “I don't want to be that person you described, I don't want to be that Inna anymore,” she told as started to take a step toward him but stopped before her paw touched the ground and instead withdrew it. “I can't take back what I did and I don’t regret it even if it was a stupid thing to do,” she said looking at her paws, “I don’t know what I can do to fix this Aleksei, can you find it in your heart to help me be better?” She would not ask for his forgiveness of would be wrong of her to do so but she hoped he wasn't so angry with her that he had written her off.

(This post was last modified: Mar 22, 2017, 11:24 PM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.