Hearthwood River Damage control

@Aytigin

Sitting outside her den taking in a little sun while Oksana slept in the cool depths of the den Inna found herself conflicted. It had not taken her long to notice that something was off between her and Ayti and it bothered her. For days she'd been debating with herself if she should say something or if she she just give him time and space. As she lay with her head on her paws staring out through the trees that surrounded her den Inna came to a decision. Raising to her feet she poked her head back into the den and checked to make sure Oksana was still sleeping. She felt her daughter would be fine and if she ran across Otter or Lekalta she would send them to check on her.

Once she made sure her daughter would be okay while she was away Inna moved through the trees in search of Ayti. She wasn't sure where she would find him but she was determined to find out what was going on with him. The Baranski wasn't prepared to lose a friend over something that Otter had said. Soon enough she came across his trail and followed it until his chocolate frame came into view. “Ayti,” she called after him as she picked up her pace to catch up to him. “Can I speak with you?” She asked as she finally came up behind him.

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: Jul 02, 2017, 11:56 AM by Inna.)

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Thanks for starting <3

It wasn't that Aytigin was avoiding the raven, per say. In fact, he still dropped off breakfast and occasionally a compliment, if they were to talk while he was there. Typically, however, he wouldn't stick around as long as he used to, feeling much too awkward to have any in-depth conversations with her. If he were to stick around, he'd mostly just ask about her wellbeing and Oksana, and then make a hasty retreat. He was beginning to hope that she hadn't noticed, so that perhaps he would be in the clear.

He should've known better. Inna was too observant for that.

Ayti had taken to patrolling more than anything, using the silence to try and sort through the smorgasbord of emotions that he was completely unfamiliar with. Regarding Inna, regarding Cottongrass, regarding Hearthwood River in itself. He loved this place - he'd never felt so completely bound to something before; especially not to a place he wasn't being forced to stay in.

He hadn't heard her approach, so the sudden sound of his name caused the massive wolf to jump. He turned quickly, startled, before realizing who it was. Wanting to seem as normal and unassuming as possible, Aytigin smiled at her and gave one shoulder a shrug. "You can talk to me anytime you want to, lovely. You know that." It was true, with a bit of flirtatious flair thrown in. Although the latter part was a bit more forced than it might normally be.

There is a family of deer nearby. Hunt Opportunity

It wasn't hard for Inna to realize that something wasn't quite right between her and Ayti anymore. At first she tried to explain the shorter visits as he had his duties to take care of but she knew that wasn't the case. He had said they were still friends but lately that hadn't seemed the truth anymore. Yes, he still dropped food off and even still gave her compliments just as he said he would but it wasn't the same. Having nothing to do but think while Oksana slept she had come to the conclusion it had to do with their conversation. The Baranski was determined to find out the truth and try to fix whatever was wrong between them.

The search for the chocolate man hadn't been a long one, she was thankful for that. Hoping that her determination wouldn't leave her before she had found him. She didn't want to lose his friendship but she also was afraid that she wouldn't be giving him space if that was what he needed. Worst of all she wasn't sure she had anymore answers for him than she'd had the day that they'd talked.

Inna hadn't missed his reaction when she'd called out to him and that worried her, perhaps she was intruding. Still she had started and couldn't stop now especially when he said that she could talk to him about anything. Though she was worried a smile slipped across her maw when he called her lovely. She wouldn't deny that she did enjoy his compliments. Inna also hadn't missed the way it seemed the last of what he said seemed a little forced. She moved passed it, “Is everything okay?” She asked thinking that was the best place to start, “And please Ayti don't tell me it's fine if it's not,” she added quietly. Inna wanted to work out whatever was wrong between them and him telling her things were fine when they weren't wasn't going to help.

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: Jul 03, 2017, 05:42 AM by Inna.)

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Ayti didn't really believe in love or soul connections or any of that crap. Hell, he usually didn't even believe in real feelings, but he was beginning to wonder if maybe he'd thought wrong on that one. Because now he was pretty damn sure he had caught some of those along the line, and he was also sure that it absolutely sucked. Especially when those feelings were directed at someone he could not have. It was a hard pill to swallow, and it made him feel sick to his stomach.

The smile vanished from his lips the instant she asked him what was wrong, and his heart did a strange plummet into his gut. Because, yes, something was wrong, and he wasn't sure what it was. For once, he didn't speak the first thing that popped into his head, and instead thought his answer through for several long, drawn-out seconds. He could come up with nothing.

"I don't know what to say," he finally admitted, his hazel eyes flicking away from her orange, shamed. "I've been trying to act normally around you, and pretend like nothing happened, but..." He sighed deeply through his nose. "I don't know, Inna. What do you want me to tell you?" His gaze found hers again, pleading for an answer he didn't know.

He wasn't sure she did, either.

This was all new territory for her, she wasn't sure the extent of Ayti's feelings toward her but he didn't deny the things that Otter had said. With Lorcan it was easy and hard at the same time, she just kept whatever she felt toward him to herself and went on with her life. It had been easy with Ayti before but now things had grown complicated between them. She didn't know if she had feelings past friendship for him and she felt horrible for not knowing. Inna knew she had to figure it out, it wasn't fair to him to not give him something more than what she already had told him.

As the smile left his face Inna felt a knot in her stomach fearing what he would say. It was clear that everything wasn't okay, would this be the moment he would tell her they couldn't be friends anymore? That it was too hard to be her friend because it had grown awkward between them. She didn't speak but waited to hear what he would say.

For the first time it seemed Ayti was at a loss for words as he admitted he didn't know what to say to her. “But something did happen?” Now they had to work through it and fix what had gone wrong to bring them to this place. He was asking her what she wanted him to tell her and for a moment she looked down at her paws, “I don't know,” she said quietly before meeting his gaze once more. “Maybe you could start with why you haven't been around so much? It might he the best place to start. I want us to be able to work this out.”

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: Jul 03, 2017, 06:32 AM by Inna.)

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Well, he had promised her that he would always be honest with her. Perhaps he'd worded his former statement incorrectly, because it seemed that the raven knew that there was anything wrong. He cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting his stance. "I was just... talking about what happened with Otter. I know it shouldn't bother me, but..." He sighed deeply, glancing away from her. "I'm just not comfortable talking about the kind of stuff he was mentioning. I would've preferred you not know any of that. Feelings don't come naturally to me." His ears pressed back to his skull.

"That's why I haven't been sticking around much lately. Because I'm a total coward who can't stop overthinking," he told her, still not making eye contact. "You probably haven't even thought about any of it. You've got Oksana to worry about; you don't need to worry about what's going on with me, too." The last thing he wanted was for her to stress herself out over something as trivial as the words of a basic stranger.

He took a deep breath. "I've been really selfish, not spending time with you. All because I've been feeling awkward. What the hell is wrong with me?" he muttered, gritting his teeth in his self-deprecation. "I'm really sorry, Inna."

Where their conversation would go Inna didn't know but she had proposed a place to start which was the thing that bothered her most. Her suggestion did get him talking and it was about what Otter had said. Inna shook her head at his words, not because she didn't like what he was saying but because she disagreed. “Ayti,” she said gently, “It's okay if what happened with Otter bothers you and I know it's not easy talking about this stuff. It's not for me either but I'm glad that I know.” She'd never had anyone have any kind of feelings for her as she was sure that Lorcan did not since she believed him to still be in love with Piety. “Feelings may not come naturally to you but it might be because of your past and it might be time that you let them in. I won't lie to you, they are messy but they can be good too.”

He finally revealed to her the reason that his visits had been so short causing a quiet whine to vibrate her throat. “I don't think you're a coward. It takes course to say what you did.” To admit feelings to someone that may not have the same feelings to return, she certainly hadn't. “If you would like to share I wouldn't mind d hearing just what you've been over thinking, maybe I can help.” she didn't know if he would take her up in her offer but if they talked about it she thought it could help him. “You're right I do have Oksana to think about which is why we need to talk. I want you in her life and in mine. I have plenty of time to think Ayti and I have thought about what you said and Otter said.” What she'd figured out Inna wasn't exactly sure but she had tried to figure out what exactly she felt. “You're my friend and just because I have a daughter now doesn't mean I can just shove my friends and family’s needs to the side. I'm always here for you.”

Inna found herself shaking her head once more as he spoke of feeling awkward and being upset with himself. “It's okay I understand but you don't have to feel awkward with me. There's nothing wrong with you,” she told him as she stepped forward and brushed her muzzle against his cheek. She'd been wanting to comfort him but had been afraid to until then deciding that he needed to know she wasn't upset with him.

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: Jul 04, 2017, 02:36 PM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Inna was kind, as always, and interjected the right words in just the right moments. Ayti was stuck in a loop between wanting to accept her affections and wanting to remove himself from her presence - she was simply too pure and good for a guy like him. He was silent throughout her speech, wanting her to be able to say whatever it was that she wanted to say without interruption. And, if he were being honest with himself, he wanted to give himself time to think it through.

But then she brushed her muzzle against his, and for a moment he melted into it and accepted the comfort she was offering. Until she said, 'there's nothing wrong with you.' The words caused a burst of heat to ignite where she touched him, spreading throughout the rest of his body instantaneously. He pulled away from her, momentarily {word}gobsmacked[/wprd] by his own reaction, before he shook his head. She could never hope to understand exactly how much was wrong with him.

"You don't know that," he rumbled low in his throat. Not in aggression - not toward her, at least. "You don't know the kind of stuff I've done, or how many other wolves I've been with. You don't know about the ones I abandoned, or that I left my own mother to die." He bit down on his tongue at that, having not meant to say it. His eyes squeezed shut tightly, and he shook his head. "You don't know the shit that's gone on in my life, and the terrible things I've done."

The dark wolf sucked in a shaky breath and glanced off to the side. "I don't know how you can be so nice to me. I don't deserve it." His shoulders were hunched up, his head low and his tail curled around his hock. And though his body posture was conveying nothing but submission and misery, his lips were pulled back and his eyes were narrowed into chips flooded with self-hatred.

(This post was last modified: Jul 07, 2017, 06:53 AM by Aytigin.)

Throughout her pregnancy and even after Ayti had been there for her bringing her food and keeping her company. He never seemed to care that she had broken pack law and most of all he accepted her for who she was and cared for her daughter though he had no reason to. Now it was her turn to be there for him when it seemed he needed a friend most. She'd never seen him so troubled when he was always so happy it was odd to see him in his current state. Inna tried to make him see that what he was feeling was okay and natural. Coming to Hearthwood and his desire to make it work out for it should be expected that he would develop ties to the wolves and the land.

When she felt he needed Inna didn't hesitate to offer it and he accepted it though she'd worried that he wouldn't. The moment was cut short when he suddenly pulled away from her, he'd never done that before. A look of confusion and shock drew across her features as she noticed him shaking his head. She didn't fully understand what had just happened but she had come to the conclusion that it was something she'd said. She started to apologize for offending him but before she could get the words out he was telling her she didn't know.

The sound that came from him as he spoke unnerved her for it was one she'd never heard from him before. Inna was by no means afraid of him but she was worried as she listened to what he had to say. To hear him describe the things that he'd done before he came to Hearthwood left her speechless at first but then questions formed in her mind. Inna didn't speak for a few moments after he had finished trying to process what he’d told her. Finally she sighed, “You're right I don't know you've not told me until now. I don't care how many wolves you've been with that's your past.” Her tone had been calm and confident but as she spoke once more it was quieter, “Why did you abandon them and leave her to die?” She found not picture the caring Ayti that she knew doing such things and she wanted to know why he had. “I can't know unless you tell me,” she added gently.

Inna had kept her distance after the aggression that he'd shown until he spoke of how she could be so nice to him. She then stepped closer and pressed her nose against his shoulder, just to let him know she hadn't gone anywhere after his confession. “The reason I can be so nice to you is because you haven't given me any reason not to be,” she told him, “You've been so good to me and Oksana. You've done some things in the past but you have done nothing but good while you've been here. I think you deserve it more than you think.” She refused to believe that Ayti was a bad wolf and that he would do anything terrible to the wolves of Hearthwood.

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: Jul 06, 2017, 03:41 PM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.