Hearthwood River run me like a river

Early Morning, Sunrise, Chilly, 45°F, 7°C

Once again, Lorcan found himself rising early that morning, before the sun had yet to properly ignite in the sky. Crawling his way slowly out of the darkness of the den, he groaned at the dull ache which consumed his limbs and tired paws. Blinking softly, his golden eyes adjusted to his less gloomy surroundings, before the male finally clambered his way awkwardly up to stand outside.

Shaking his pelt, ridding himself of any dirt and leaf litter that had become tangled within in his fur during the night, the healer ignored his stomachs growls for sustenance and immediately set off in search of @Inna. It didn’t take the agouti wolf long to traipse his way through the heart of the territory and arrive outside her den. However, as he lingered at the entrance and waited patiently for her to crawl out to meet him, he began to wonder if the raven had already taken her leave.

Lowering his head, the healer peered into the darkness of her chamber and inhaled the scents which lingered within it. His suspicions were quickly confirmed when he was greeted only with the presence of his sleeping daughter, and after deliberating whether he should wait around for her to return or run off in search of her, the male opted for the latter option. The woman had been distant as of late and he considered that perhaps a talk in private, away from the prying ears of their daughter, would encourage her to open up a little more.

Pressing his nose to the ground, it didn’t tail long for Lorcan to identify a recent scent trail left by the raven and after following it, he soon found his golden gaze falling upon her dark midnight coat as she hovered by the river which ran along the edge of their home. Brushing past the trees which littered the path between them, Lorcan called out to her softly, his ears pressing back against his crown in earnest. “Inna..”

(This post was last modified: Aug 04, 2017, 02:41 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

She'd not been able to sleep well the previous night so had fallen back on an old habits which was both a comfort and a distraction. Watching her daughter sleep was a habit that had been born out of worry when Oksana had first been born. When dawn had grown close the Raven pulled herself away from her daughter's side and left the den. Normally she might have gone to the cache and gotten something to eat but her appetite had yet to return. She would get something for Oksana on her way back when she knew her daughter would be awake.

This time she didn't run through the forest as she had the day before, that desire seemed to he leaving her. The pain of her mother's death had yet to subside and didn't seem to be getting any easier. She didn't expect it to any time soon, she loved her mother and to lose her like she had was nearly unbearable. The only thing that brought her any comfort was that her mother and father could be together again. She knew how much they’d loved each other and how Kisla had missed Maksim.

The cool morning air against her fur was in a way refreshing for the Raven. She left paw prints in the dew as she made her way through the trees and for the first time since her mother had passed she felt thirsty. Her destination was the river where she could drink the cool water and she would have to do her best to not think of the events the night Kisla had died. She was glad she had not been able to watch the river wash away the blood. That sight might have just been too much for her and she found not afford to fully lose it when she had her daughter to take care of.

The sparkling of the water came into view through the trees helping Inna to quicken her pace just a little until she reached the bank. Only a few feet from where she'd gotten sick a few nights before, she didn't think about that. Focusing on the small things helped, lowering her head to lap at the water was one of those things.she drank for a long time before she finally sat back on her haunches to look out over the river as she had the previous day with Lachesis. The sound of the rushing water filled yet ears but was not enough to drown out the soft voice that said her name behind her. She turned her head to look at the man that only days ago had returned to her and Oksana. A smile that didn't quite reach her eyes spread across her maw, “Hello Lorcan,” she spoke just as quietly before raising to her feet and moving toward him. “I am sorry, I know that I said we would talk but...well,” she looked down at her paws. Taking a deep breath she met his golden eyes again, “I can't let what happened keep me from taking care of what is important.”

~Table by Jacqueline

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Lorcan studied Inna curiously for the few heartbeats it took her to turn around. A frown pulled softly at his features as he caught the glint of her pearlescent smile greet him through the dim morning light, knowing the gesture to hold no true connotation with how she truly felt in that moment. Still, he nodded at her acknowledgment of him and mirrored her dark figure as she stepped in closer towards him, his golden eyes swimming with worry in anticipation for what she would say next.

He felt the need to rush forwards as the apology left her lips, to hold her in his embrace and let her know that for whatever reason she was sorry, he had not a care for. So he did. Agouti fur brushed against the rough bark of the redwood trees as he stepped out from the darkness beneath the canopy and into the dim morning light where she lingered by the water’s edge. “It’s okay,” He sighed, sweeping forwards to hold her tenderly against the thick fur of his chest. “I understand. You have nothing to apologise for. I mean it.” He said confidently, pulling his face away so that he could meet her deep orange gaze.

“I just wanted to make sure..” His voice trailed off as he went to brush his muzzle affectionately against her cheek. “I know I wasn’t before, but…I am here for you now, if you ever need anything.” Lorcan said softly into her ear, hoping it would make her understand how much he truly cared for her.

(This post was last modified: Aug 04, 2017, 02:44 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

She had not expected to be found so early in the morning and not by Lorcan, he needed his rest after what he'd been through. Inna could not say she didn't appreciate him seeking her out and was more than glad that he had. Even still the greeting she might have usually given him had been lost in the days previous as she grieved the loss of her mother. He'd been by her side that day though silent his presence had been a comfort and support that she had needed. The Raven didn't hesitate to go to him and face him as she should have days ago, it was wrong of her to prolong the discussion she had wanted to have with him regarding their daughter. Oksana would need him too once In a had found the words to tell her what happened.

Before anything could be said Inna came out with an apology because he deserved it. He was Oksana's father and she knew in her heart how much he loved their child. Her mother's death should never have stopped her from telling him what she had wanted to tell him so that he could see his daughter. Her breath caught in her throat as he told her that it was okay and as he pulled her into an embrace she buried her face in the fur of his scruff. She should have known her tears would start to fall again once she had sought the comfort that he provided. He was being so understanding but then she didn't expect anything less from him. “Thank you Lorcan for everything for this and being there when... but for Oksana when I asked you to look after her. It means a lot.”

She had missed him more than he would ever know even if they had their arguments and had times when they needed to be away from each other. He always knew when she needed him and she needed him now with the loss of her mother came the uncertainty of her future. “How I'm doing? Not so well,” she admitted, “But I will be okay, I have to be okay for Oksana and the pack,” she told as she leaned into his touch. “I appreciate that. The past doesn't matter now,” she said shaking her head, “What matters now is you are here and I'm glad you are, I missed you Lorcan,” she told him as she moved forward to bury her face in the fur of his chest.

~Table by Jacqueline

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Holding her there against his chest, the healer hoped that he could provide the woman some small source comfort now that her mother was no longer around to do so. Lorcan had never anticipated though, that as Inna buried her dark face into the thick ruffles of his neck, that she would allow her show of strength to slip away so easily. Feeling the dampness of her tear-stained cheek against his warm skin, he shifted in closer, not wanting to heighten her sense of vulnerability by watching her cry.

Inna had always been a tough woman, but the sudden death of her mother had left her with no family to fall back on or to grieve alongside. Lorcan had done his best in attempting to step up and fulfil the role that others were now incapable of; taking care of their daughter on the night of Kisla’s passing was just one small gesture of his good will. “Think nothing of it. That’s what I’m here for.” He assured her quietly, still holding her protectively in his embrace.

It pained the healer to hear it from her, but her answer had been expected. In some ways he was glad she had been able to admit her feelings to him. It hinted that the trust between them had not completely disappeared during his time away. Pulling away slowly, his golden eyes fell to the ground as he allowed Inna a few moments to recompose herself before his gaze drifted back up to meet her face. “It is okay to grieve, Inna. You should take whatever time you need.” He said, catching her gaze. “I can see to Oksana if necessary. It would be no trouble.” He assured her with a tilt of his chin.

As Inna dismissed the past, Lorcan once against found himself receiving the woman’s forgiveness. The healer was relieved, and his shoulders sagged to show it, but he did sometimes wonder if there was a limit to her sympathy. Lorcan was sure of one thing; he did not want to put himself in a position to find out. Sighing wistfully as she stepped towards him again and buried her face into his thick fur, his russet ears pricked up at the last few words which she breathed against his chest.

He felt his heart clench as he realised his daughter’s words about her mother to be true. She really had missed him. A frown pulled at his pale brow casting a shadow across his golden stare as his stomach flipped with an overwhelming sense of guilt. He wished he could see her face right then and look deep into those warm orange eyes to see if she believed him as he whispered in reply. “I missed you too, soo much.”

Advisor demonstration 1/3

(This post was last modified: Aug 04, 2017, 02:44 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

In that moment with her face buried in his fur she wanted the world to stop and for him to take the pain that wrenched her heart away. It was a childish wish and in that she knew could never be granted. That didn't make her wish for it any less or make her want to leave the comfort of his embrace. She knew that she had to deal with it and all Lorcan could do is be there for her, hold her like he was. That was all she needed him to do his presence was enough just like it had been when she had been curled up against her mother's body. She felt his movement closer to her as her tears continued to fall down her face causing the fur of his neck to become wetter.

Lorcan had a good heart she’d always known it since the day she met him and it showed especially the night of her mother's death. She'd gone to him and asked him to look after their daughter. Even after she'd been cold and kept Oksana from him he agreed. Even now he forgave her for not coming to talk to him sooner and making it so that he could see his daughter regularly. “No Lorcan,” she said with a small hiccup in her voice, “I won't forget what you've done. You're not here just as a babysitter for Oksana. You're her father and she needed you that night that is why I asked you. She may not know you are her father but one day she will look back in that night and she will remember it was you that was there when her mother didn't come home.”

Even when Lorcan had disappeared she'd held out the hope that he would return just like she did for her sister. She trusted him so she did not lie about how she felt, he would know that she wasn't okay. She would be and soon Inna had to carry on for her mother, she couldn't just curl up in her den all day and not come out. When he pulled away from her she took the moment that he was obviously giving her to clean her face with her paw and pull herself together. “I know and I will,” she told him another small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes crossing her maw. “I may ask you to but I need to make sure of something first. I understand why you were gone and I'm not angry with you it couldn't be helped but I can't have you leave her again Lorcan. I don't want her to have to experience wolves she cares about leaving her. Please you have to promise me that you will not let her be hurt like that again,” she pleaded for her daughter so that she would not have to go through what Inna had and her mother.

He'd disappeared on them and the two of them had their differences but all of that was in the past. What was important to her was he was there when she and Oksana would need him the most. She still needed to tell her daughter, she felt bad for not having told her yet but it wouldn't be easy for either of them and she worried the news would break Oksana's heart. The mother couldn't bare to see her daughter so sad. Lorcan would he there for her just as he was there for her mother and as she pressed her face into his fur once again feeling his warmth on her cheek she told him what she might not have before.

She hadn't planned it but she did feel better telling him and maybe he needed to hear it. To know that she didn't hate him for what he'd done because she didn't. What he said made her pull away from him her gaze meeting his golden one, searching. “Soo much?” It was a question because she didn't understand and she wanted to.

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: Jul 29, 2017, 07:58 PM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Lorcan had attempted to dismiss her gently, attributing her overly generous thanks to the heightened emotional state she was in as a result of the loss of her mother. However, his dismissive comment went ignored by Inna and after catching her breath through the silent sobs which wracked her body, she restated her point with more emphasis and explanation. “I care a lot about her..” He admitted quietly, thinking back to that night. “And I will always be there for her, whether she knows the truth or not. I could never stand around and do nothing.” He stated firmly, his voice growing a gruff with his passion.

It came as a relief when she acknowledged that she needed time to grieve, whether in private or with others. He knew that the woman wanted nothing more than to feel better and continue on as if nothing had happened, and he worried that her determination to remain apparently strong and capable in the face of disaster would lead to her downfall. If Inna could be anything, it was stubborn – but the healer was glad that she could see sense in his advice.

The male nodded in willingness when the raven announced that she may call for his assistance with their daughter from time to time, but a soon frown pinched at his brow and his golden eyes filled with worry when she spoke of Oksana. Russet ears flattened and he pulled his face away from her again to meet her gaze as she talked of the emotional pain his absence had struck in their daughter. His heart sunk. “She told me how upset she was when I was gone. She didn’t want me to leave again, even after I promised her that I would be back in the morning...It broke my heart.” He admitted, his eyes falling solemnly to the floor. “I’d never wish to upset her like that again.” He promised, golden eyes returning to meet her deep orange stare.

Stepping forth to hold her in his embrace once again, he finally admitted how much he had missed her during his time away. His words seemed to stir something in her and Lorcan’s eyes widened as she quickly pulled away from him, dreading the words before they even spilled from her mouth. If Inna was accusing him of lying, he couldn’t tell – but he hoped he was assuming the worst in that moment. Whatever thoughts were swirling through her eyes as she stared at him, he prayed were full of hope of promise and not slander.

“Yes!” He sighed. “More than I think you know.” He admitted as a frown creased his brow. “All those days I was away, I spent them trying to get back to Oksana and you. Even when I thought you’d probably lost faith in me.” His eyes drifted down to the floor again as he recalled his month away from the sequoia forest they called home. His voice grew quieter then, his gaze returning to focus on hers. “Nothing else mattered but you–”

“I love you Inna.”

omg did he actually just say it?!

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

She wouldn't let him brush off what he had as nothing but a kind gesture. Yes, she was hurting because of what had happened to her mother. That was no reason for her to not recognize the help that had been given to her during her greatest time of need. It was also no reason for her to let him think that he wasn’t important in their little girls life. She could have asked Ayti to stay with Oksana or even Laike but she had chosen Lorcan because he was her father and he was the one Oksana would need. “I know how much you care about her Lorcan I have seen it,” she assured more gently than she had spoken before. “And one day she will know the truth and she will remember all those times you were there for her. I also know you aren't the type to do nothing. I couldn't have asked for a better father for my daughter.” She could hear the change in his tone which to her was evidence enough that what he said was true.

Inna had let her grief consume her as she felt it should, it needed the time to run its course and she needed time to work through it. She would not deny that she needed to take that time but she was also aware of her duty to her pack and to her daughter. She could not crumble this time, she was not a yearling with little responsibility anymore. Her mother was gone and that was going to take a toll on the pack it was her duty as a member of Hearthwood and to her parents to make sure the pack made it through this and came out strong in the other side.

Inna wasn't so naive to think that she could don't alone, she would need Lorcan now more than ever. Not only to help with Oksana but she needed him as her friend and the only one she felt comfortable sharing her true emotions with. It was important for him to understand that she could not allow him back into their daughter's life if he was only going to break the little girls heart again. It was her job to protect her daughter no matter what the cost as her mother had proven only days before. Inna would do the same for Oksana without a thought. She listened as he spoke of the conversation he had with their little girl. The Raven was glad that he was able to hear it from Oksana, “It's true, she didn't always show it but I'm her mother. I knew she was upset and it broke my heart too.” There had been nothing she could do for her daughter, she didn't want to tell her that Lorcan would be back when she didn't know herself. “I know you don't but I hope you can see why I'm asking this of you.”

The comfort his embrace gave her was something she needed but the words he used to express just how much he missed her, she had to question them. She needed to know what he meant by them because for so long she'd hoped that one day he might see her as more than just the mother of his children or a friend. His words suggested something she didn't want to believe until she heard it from his mouth. She'd pulled away to look into his eyes not knowing what she would find there.

Then he spoke startling her just a little but as he spoke it started to become more real to her and the hope she'd always had started to not feel like wasted time. “You're right I don't know,” she confirmed, “But I never gave up in you Lorcan, I know the man you are and I know the live you have for our daughter and I hoped everyday that you would return to us.” Some days it had felt more hopeless than hopeful but she never wavered in her belief that he would come back. Then he said words she thought she would never hear from him directed at her. The Raven stumbled backwards and didn't speak for a long moment as she met his gaze her breath catching in her throat and new tears fell from her eyes. Had she really just heard what she thought she did? He felt the same as her, as she had all this time?

Finally she realized she had to have heard him right, “I never thought I would hear those words slip from your mouth,” she rambled looking away from him, “In all this time I had hoped even wished but I never thought for a moment that that wish would come true.” Inna met his gaze once more pausing before she spoke again, “I love you too Lorcan.”

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: Jul 30, 2017, 03:53 AM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Lorcan couldn’t help the smile that tagged at the corners of his charcoal lips as he listened to Inna acknowledge that she had witnessed how much he cared for their daughter. Her compliment did not go unnoticed either. The father felt a sense of pride swell up inside his chest at her kind words and the male found himself blushing bashfully in response. “I try to do the best for her.” He sighed.

It did not surprise him when Inna told him that she had sense how much his absence had affected their daughter. It was a mother’s instinct to know when something was wrong with their offspring, or so the healer himself believed. A frown creased his brow at the raven’s next words and Lorcan did not hesitate to offer a nod of understanding towards the young mother. It had pained him enough to learn of his daughter’s distress the other night when they had spoken, he could only imagine that witnessing such distress every single day for over a month would be torturous.

The male tried his best to conceal the wave of relief that washed over him when Inna admitted that she had not once lost faith in him. He had always hoped as much, but after so many nights spent in the wild without a word to her, he had feared that she would grow tired and impatient of waiting for him to return. He felt truly thankful to her in that moment. “I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. I should never have put you in that position..” He sighed again, moving in closer.

Honestly, Lorcan did not dare to wonder what he would have done had she given up on him. Such an existence would surely be nothing less than miserable. Despite their occasional disputes, what they had together was something akin to family he had always longed for. Lorcan could never deny that he cared deeply for her – how could he not? They had been through so much together over the past few months. They helped and supported each other through it all, guarded secrets, lied, schemed and even broken pack law on a few occasions – but they had done it all together, as partners, and as a result they had learnt if nothing else to trust each other.

Lorcan did not regret the words that slipped from his mouth. They were entirely true – it had just taken a rather heated conversation with his brother to help him realise it.

The male could never have imagined how those few words would affect Inna so violently, stealing her breath and causing tears to spill from her eyes as she stumbled back a few paces in disbelief. Instinctively the healer stepped forwards, concern sweeping his features as he moved to steady her. She could not face him and for a heartbeat Lorcan wondered if he had been too forward with her too soon. However, her words were both a comfort and surprise to him and all of a sudden he felt his pulse quicken in his veins.

“You did?” He breathed, struggling to find his voice. Then she repeated the words back to him and it left him lost for words. A few a smile pull at his lips, a wide bright smile, one which caused his golden eyes to glimmer as he gazed into her deep orange stare. Lorcan leant forwards and placed a warm kiss upon her mouth, then another and another...

Their emotions were out in the open now, yet as Lorcan continued to smother his love is affectionate kisses he knew that they could not truly be together. They could not express their true feelings in the company of their pack mates. Neither of them held the rank to allow such a romance. “Sorry..” He murmured, recoiling slowly, a little crestfallen as his tongue swept over his lips. “I won’t let this change anything between us. You have enough to deal with already..” He said quietly.

Sends in the ambulances ;)  *Music inspiration*

(This post was last modified: Jul 30, 2017, 06:51 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

For a long time after she had told him that she was going to have his children she had been worried he would never get used to the idea. Even before Oksana had been born he had started stepping up and showing he cared but it wasn't until the day in the ethos and his reaction the night of the flood she saw just how much he loved his daughter. “I know Lorcan and that is all I can ask if you.” She was new to being a parent too and she could only try to do her best too.

Inna had not felt she could share her true feelings about Lorcan's disappearance with anyone but Oksana. She and her daughter would spend some of their nights talking about Lorcan and where he might be. It was those times that she saw it in her daughter, how much she missed her father. It tore at her heart every time Oksana would get that look in her eye that told her she missed Lorcan. Inna was sure to make him understand not only that he had hurt their child but that his presence in her life was very important even if she didn't know the truth because one day she would.

It was the love for their daughter that he had shown that had given her the courage to keep hoping he would return to them. Has she not seen that in him before she may not have had faith that he would return. She had to believe that Wherever he had been he was not there by choice. “You gave me no reason to doubt that you would come back Lorcan. You didn't purposely put me in that position.” She'd heard his story when he told it to Lachesis and she believed him. She would not have been so forgiving had his story been something else.

She may not have known him well when they had run off together and committed the act that would bring them Oksana but she'd felt something for him. Over the past months they had been there for each other, seen each other at their worst and through it all they had never let each other down. She couldn't let him down during his disappearance like he had not let her down when he returned. They were in this together for their daughter.

She'd hadn't believed what she’d heard at first, he loved her, they were the words that she'd longed to hear. They meant more to her than he would never know, he was truly committed to her and their daughter. For the first time she didn't feel like all she had we're false hopes and empty dreams.

So unexpected were the words that she couldn't control herself after what had happened with her mother Inna was on emotional overload. Expect this time she felt the happiness at hearing him admit his feelings to her. For the first time since her mother had gone from her life Inna felt hopeful. Some of her uncertainty ebbed away because no matter what happened she had a future with her daughter and Lorcan. She did not hide the truth from him any longer.

He seemed shocked as the two words slipped from his mouth she nodded, “For a while now but I couldn't say anything.” After so long she was finally able to admit her feelings for him. The next thing she knew he was kissing her in the mouth and he didn't stop and she didn't stop him until…

Something stopped him, Inna didn't have any idea what it was until he spoke an apology to her. She frowned and shook her head. “No Lorcan don't apologise,” she told him as she lay her head against his neck. “I'm glad you told me and I'm glad I was finally able to tell you. You are right though,” she said pulling back to meet his gaze, “I need to get through everything that's going on inside me right now. It might be best that things don't change for right now but that doesn't mean I don't need you Lorcan,” she said leaning up and placing a soft kiss on his mouth.

~Table by Jacqueline

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.