Clearwater Tarn Derailed

Please allow @Daesamar to post first.

The tawny woman laid by the tarn not feeling much like going out and hunting or patrolling. So much had changed in just a short amount if time it left the new alpha feeling every but like a failure. That bothered her out what bothered her most was the way Piety and Lenae had left. She'd just thought she’d deserved more than a howl from the borders. As for Cyril, well she felt they'd grown so far apart she didn't expect more from him and it was to be expected once his those get cared most about were gone.

Her sides heaved with a sigh as she looked out over the water. It was just her, Daes, and Awinita in the tarn now. Odin of course promised to return with Jenny after their trip but she did worry. What if he changed his mind? Where would that leave the rest of them. Cheedo didn't know what was next for them and didn't want to think about it just then. She just wanted to sulk for a bit.

Daesamar had laid down on a rock, curled up into a loose ball and looking up at the bright sky. Things within the Tarn had changed drastically and quickly. Their members had reduced to just three in such a short time. He was tired, his body was sore from the amount of hunting and patrolling the young wolf had taken up to try and fill the gaps. His efforts had doubled ever since he and Cheedo had last spoken but that had been fueled out of guilt, now it was fueled by necessity. They didn’t deserve this, not after all that the pack had faced. He found it hard, struggling to try and keep a smile on his face.


Grunting softly Daesamar pulled himself to his paws, giving his massive frame a good shake to try and clear his head. Things looked bad, but they still had a home, territory and each other. Turning his silver eyes toward the center of the territory he let a sigh escape. He didn’t want to lose of this. Best to check on his packmates and see how they were faring. Daesamar paused midstep, a snort escaping as a thought crossed his mind. This must be how a leader feels, checking everything, making sure everyone alright. He never saw himself as a leader but the idea of acting like one brought a small smile to his lips.

Making his way toward the pond he spotted the small form of his leader. Trending closer and closer, he paused a few feet away. She seemed lost in thought, which he couldn’t blame her. There was so much to worry about. He hated it though, the burden on her shoulders had to be heavy. He knew he'd do anything to help elevate it and he stepped closer. Growing more comfortable around his packmates. Daesamar barked a short greeting to let her know that he was there before he settled down next to her, letting his side brush against hers. “We’re gonna be ok.” he said with a small smile before glancing up at the bright blue sky and adding “You ever wonder how vast it is Cheedo?”

(This post was last modified: Sep 29, 2018, 02:31 PM by Daesamar.)

Laying by the tarn all she could think was that she wasn't ready for the situation she now found herself in. She'd always been the follower and in desperate times the one that did what she had to to survive. In those times she'd only looked out for herself but now she had a pack to look after too. She knew she couldn't let Daes and Awinita see her in such bad spirits but she couldn't bring herself to pretend everything was going to be okay when she didn't know.

Even when she tried to push it all out of her mind she couldn't when her thoughts were so loud. Cheedo had been focusing so hard for some peace that she hadn't noticed Daes approach. The sound of his bark brought her back to reality and she raised her head to look in his direction. The tawny woman watched as he settled down beside her before he spoke his words of encouragement.

“I hope your right Daes,” she commented though she felt rather hopeless about it all. When asked about the sky she looked up her gaze filled with the blue color. “I haven't ever really thought about it,” she said looking down at yet paws stretched before her. “I've always been so busy surviving or working that there was just never time. I do think it has to be very vast because it's always there day or night,” she shared.

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Daesamar Silverveil
There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.

Daesamar turned his eyes upward, giving a small nod at her words. “Yea, it is there matter what. When it snows, when it rains, when it’s dark and even when you don’t know what’s going to happen.” He paused and looked back at Cheedo before shifting and scooting closer so that he laid parrel to her “I learned that long ago Cheedo, it doesn't matter what we’re going through, the sky’s always there, an anchor and silver lining that we can always look forward to. Just like there’s night time, we’re all gonna go through darkness and uncertain.” He paused, closing his eyes and bumping his leader’s cheek with his nose.

“But, like the sun has the clouds and the night has the stars, we’re not going through it alone. Our friends are like our stars, helping to guide us. The pack’s like that, there’s not many stars, but we have some and they shine brighter when there is no other around.” The young wolf smiled and looked Cheedo in the eyes, hoping something he said had made sense because he was winging most of it and he was positive that he wouldn’t be able to repeat himself because he had succeeded in confusing himself.

“I um...I think I said something that made sense in there...somewhere... he added quietly, his grin turning into a slight grimace.

The sky was something that Cheedo hadn't ever had time to give much thought to. She knew that it was always there, it was expected for it to be there. She let Daes go on finishing his thoughts on the matter of the sky. She wasn't exactly sure where he was going with it. Slowly she did understand what he was doing. Drawing a parallel between their current situation and the sky. “I think that we've been through enough darkness to last a lifetime. I had hoped when we came here that things would be happier...better for all of us.”

It was when he spoke of friends that a nerve was struck in the now permanent leader. “Our friends Daes, they left without a proper goodbye. They couldn't even tell us of their plans to leave, given us the chance to prepare ourselves of their departure.” And now the pack was left in a bad place. For the moment it was just the three of them and all she could do was hope that Odin and Jenny would return to them. If they didn't she didn't know what would happen to what was left of the pack.

“Don't worry it made perfect sense,” she assured. What he'd said made plenty of sense but she couldn't help the way she felt and all she could do was hope things would get better in the tarn.

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Daesamar Silverveil
There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.

He understood Cheedo’s bitterness perfectly and deep down he knew that she was right. Piety had taken her sone and simply left. With only one last call from the border as her farewell. It hurt everyone and the pack as a whole. It hurt Cheedo the worst though. He knew that the majority of the pack had come from another, a collective group trying to start over. And now every single one of them had left her high and dry, he wasn’t sure if he trusted @Odin to come back with @Jenessa at all. They had family down there, why come back to a nearly crumbling pack then? All he had was the pack, as small as it was.

Daesamar looked up at the sky one last time before he shifted and pressed against Cheedo’s side. A scowl of determination formed, creasing his eyebrows above his silver eyes. “Well, I can’t speak for them all Cheedo, but I’m here, and I’ll be here for you to the very end if that is what it takes. Maybe we could try and find some loners, or even move.” Bitter experience had taught him just how harsh survival could be i9n the dead of winter. High on a mountain on top of that left the chances depressing with their current numbers.

Why did this have to happen to his leader? He knew Cheedo worked hard for what she had. She wasn’t selfish, she had come to him everytime he had called. Yet mere months ago he had considered dropping all of it just to be with another wolf. He felt disgusted with himself for it. Others here needed him, wolves like Cheedo. He leaned in and nudged her cheek with his nose before turning “Your more than a leader to me Cheedo, your my best friend and I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you get what you deserve for it.”

It was true her feelings about the way Piety had left weren't in the best light. Lenae was different, Cheedo had been expecting her to leave after their last conversation. Still she thought she deserved more than a howl from the borders. That lead her to believe that all she'd felt in months past was true, that she didn't mean as much to them despite all she'd done. There was nothing to do about it now but try to keep what remained of the pack together.

She looked toward Daes as he spoke and smiled as he declared he would be there until the end. “I appreciate that Daes and if you want to try and recruit some more members I won't stop you.” Cheedo on the other hand didn't have high hopes for a good outcome of the pack growing. She'd lost faith that the tarn would work out, that it could be what they had hoped when they had formed it.

Their numbers had shrunk so quickly and it still stung the way it all happened. All of it just left Cheedo feeling worn out and wondering if it wouldn't be a good idea for her to leave too. With winter coming and Odin and Jenny away she wasn't sure there was much left to save. Daes spoke again and his words brought a gentle smile to her features. “That's very kind of if your to say. I don't hear things like that every day.” It did make her happy to know that she did have one wolf that saw her as more than what she'd always been. “You're my friend too but I can't make any promises to you right now Daes.” Not after all that had happened and the way she was feeling.

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He hadn’t lost hope in the pack, as bleak as their future looked, there was always a way if you had the courage to find it. He closed his eyes and sighed softly before perking his ears at her words. He could fill a chill along the back of his spine at what she had said. Even though she smiled, what she had said did hurt him some and left him confused. Promises about what? Staying with the pack? Staying with him? He didn’t want to ask though, fearful of what her response would be.

“We’ll be fine…” he repeated softly while looking up at the sky once more. Was it true though? His oldest fear started to fester just below the surface. Was he going to be left alone once more? He hadn’t even tried to get close to @Awinita out of fear of the same thing happening. If Cheedo left then he didn’t know what he was going to do. He tried not to dwell on the subject, At least not in front of anyone else.

After Whitestone and now the tarn Cheedo was afraid to have hope that things would be okay for the pack. With it being just the three of them she wondered if it wouldn't be better for all those involved to go their separate ways. Maybe if they did they might find places that were better for them and have a chance of making it through the winter. It didn't do Daes and Awinita any good to have a leader who had given up hope that the pack could grow and prosper.

Daes on the other paw felt that everything would he fine, her brow furrowed, “How can you be so sure?” Or maybe he wasn't, maybe he felt as she did about it all. Cheedo didn't know but he seemed to not want to give up. Maybe in a few weeks time she would feel differently but for now she needed some time to get used to Piety and Lenae being gone.

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