Dead Empress Backwater you're a bad game of sims

For @Vanadis Mid-morning, Overcast Clouds, 26F/-3C. Vanadis would be almost 2 weeks pregnant

The last two weeks had been more emotionally and mentally draining than Viorel could have ever imagined. At this point, he was tired of feeling ashamed and like he was walking on eggshells, and was happy it was all out in the open. For better or worse everyone knew now that both Clover and Vanadis would be bearing his children this spring. Certainly not the surprise that any of them had been expecting.

Viorel was up much earlier than usual. His normal routine had him awake most of the night, sleeping through the morning until the sun was already high in the sky, but today it had only been up for an hour or two. He just couldn’t sleep anymore, and the fatigue was clear in his eyes as he moved throughout the territory. Grey and dreary the weather matched his mood, but he was on a mission to find Vanadis. It had been a couple days since the meeting and they hadn’t had a chance to speak privately since.

Along the way he had a burst of inspiration. Rearing back on his hind legs he had managed to pluck one of the earliest purple blooms from a low bearing empress tree. Clutching it carefully in his jaws so as to not crumple it, he followed Vanadis’s most recent scent path.

Nothing about this whole ordeal had been easy. Not finding out that she was pregnant, or that Viorel had another litter on the way, or dealing with Vayko, or figuring out what she was supposed to do with herself now. Everything had seemingly changed over night, and as adaptable as she might have been, that didn't make the transition any easier or more desirable.

Truthfully, she hadn't slept well since the night before the meeting, so when she grew sick of tossing, and turning, and hoping that rest would find her, she stopped trying. Vana set out just after the sun began to peek over the horizon, intent on running a quick patrol of the borders, before winding her way towards the river. From there she could either fish, or hunt for herbs, which would ideally eat up a good portion of the day. The less time that she had to spend dealing with the growing list of problems, the better.

Her paws stilled at Viorel's approach, catching his scent on the wind before his salt and pepper form came into view. "A little early for you, isn't it?"

Vanadis’ trail eventually led him close to the creek that wound itself in and out of their territory. It’s banks had swole since the beginning of the thaw, most of their snow had retreated back now despite the fact that the nights and some days remained well below freezing. Viorel thought he would have been more excited for the thaw than he was, instead it was just a reminder how quickly the days were passing them by.

She didn’t seem upset by his approach, and so he offered her as much of a smile as he could while still holding the plucked flower in his teeth. Coming in close he attempted to brush it into the fur near her ear. It stuck for now, but he could see it ruffle slightly in the light breeze and knew it was only a matter of time before it fell out. Tired yellow eyes looked her over, it was strange, how she looked the same and yet there was something so important growing inside her.

Glancing back towards her he smirked, that same cheeky grin that he had always shown her, despite the fact that he looked so tired. Raising his eyebrows he teased, ”I could say the same for you Archer, last I checked you were as much of a night owl as I am.” It was what had allowed them so much time to explore. And it was what had gotten them into so much trouble.

Her head fell to the side as she caught sight of the flower between his teeth, wondering why he was carrying it so delicately, but her silent question was answered as he stepped forward to brush it into her fur. It was such a small, impossibly sweet gesture, but it filled her stomach with butterflies. How silly.

Vana's smile softened as Viorel shifted back to look at her. She tried to—very carefully—turn her head to meet him. The flower shifted a little, dancing dangerously in the breeze, but for now it held it's place. His exhaustion was visible, but her's probably was too. They were far to young to be this tired. Still, he made the effort to smirk at her, to pretend like nothing was weird, or different, or confusing, and she appreciated it. "Well, for one reason or another," She gave him a pointed but playful look. "I've had to put my floozing on hold, so I don't have to stay up all night to get things done." Banter was easy, comfortable, and she wasn't eager to stray from it yet. "What's your excuse?"

(This post was last modified: Mar 27, 2021, 10:09 PM by Vanadis.)

Her muzzle grazed his chin, and it felt like electricity running down his back. Things had been so hectic since they had changed their relationship that they had not really even had a chance to enjoy it. If he were a cat he would have purred, but instead he just hummed happily, enjoying the momentary gesture. He watched as the flower wobbled almost comically, before coming to rest in a spot that was more secure at least for now.

Her playful look was a relief. More mature adults may have started openly talking about the problems right off the bat, but for now it was nice to enjoy a moment of flirting. Pressing his forehead against the soft fur behind her ear he chuckled, ”It’s hard to sleep without getting into trouble with you first.” It was true. Prior to everything the pair had spent a lot of nights together out exploring, goofing around, and all of that had kind of come to a skidding halt.

He didn’t really know how to voice how he had been feeling, it was a lot of big emotions for such a young wolf. Of course, he was the cause of a lot of it, but that didn’t mean he was mature enough to speak it out loud. Closing his eyes, but not moving his head he said the only thing that he could think of, ”I’ve missed it, and missed you.” It’s not like they didn’t see each other, but it was different. He wanted to go back out and find sinkholes, and rapids, and orchards, and see the world with her.

She angled her neck to allow his forehead room, knocking the flower off kilter, and causing it to gently float away with the breeze. Somehow it felt symbolic in a way that made her.. sad. Like lost innocence, or.. something dumb like that. Viorel's touch was enough to re-solidify her feelings however, as a wave of excitement rolled through her like thunder and lightening in her veins, while the flower lay forgotten on the ground somewhere. "I know." At least she wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. "I'm not sure how much more trouble we can get ourselves in, but I'm sure we can think of something."

Vanadis understood the meaning behind his words, but more importantly, she understood the things that he hadn't said, because she felt it too. She missed him, and what they had began, and all that had come before. It was sweet, and simple, and fun, and incredibly short-lived. The woman would have liked to do more, to see more, to have gotten to know him more, but they skipped past all of that. From now on it wasn't supposed to be just about them, and yet, she selfishly wished it could have been. "I've missed you too, and this.. and everything." Feelings weren't exactly her strong suit. Not this kind, anyway. "How.. How are you feeling about this whole thing?" The two litters, her, them. She was toeing the line into uncomfortable territory now.

(This post was last modified: Mar 28, 2021, 01:57 AM by Vanadis.)

Viorel didn’t see the small purple blossom as it floated away, but he definitely noticed as soon as he pulled away. Pulling back slightly so he could sit on his haunches, if they were going to have a serious conversation he was going to look her in the eye. A few days ago he had been unable to do this with his cousin, but even this small moment with Vanadis was steeling his resolve. Things were a mess, but he was going to make the best of it, for her, and for Clover, and for his children. That meant swallowing his pride, and growing up.

It was nice that she understood what he meant when he said that he missed her. She understood that it wasn’t a physical missing, but a longing for the simpleness of what had been just a few weeks ago. Waiting until she met his eye he offered her a smile, not the cheeky grin he usually wore, an actual genuine smile. ”I’m going to be honest with you; I’m scared,” he paused for a moment to make sure that he had his words right, ”but, I don’t regret being with you. I’m scared that I’m not going to be good enough for you, or for our children, or frankly for my children with Clover who will be siblings to ours.” Letting out a slow sigh, there was a lot of chatter in his head he was trying to sort through.

Shifting on his paws in his signature way he tried to make sense of it all. Taking an extra moment he added, ”it’s all really fast you know? But, as much as I’m scared, I’m happy that I met you, and that we’re, you know, that you’re my girlfriend.” It felt like a childish title given they were bringing children into the world, but he didn’t have a better word for it.

She felt his absence as he pulled away, taking the warmth he had created and leaving room for wind to swirl over her coat. So this was really it then. They were finally having the conversation that they should have had the day they realized what their night together had caused. She sighed, shifting back to sit.

Viorel seemed to validate her feelings as he shared his own, which was a relief in and of itself. There was a lot for them to be afraid of, being so young and inexperienced, and probably even more for him as he was going to have  to learn how to juggle two litters, two women, a relationship, and run a pack at the same time, but knowing that she wasn't alone was nice. "I'm scared too." Vana's voice was smaller than usual, but she was able to retain small semblance of confidence as it left her maw. "I don't know if we'll be good parents, or if I'll be a good girlfriend, or how I'm going to feel about Clover and her kids when they come, or how this whole thing is going to work, but I don't regret it either." Like she'd stated before, even if she knew that this is how things would be, Vanadis would have made the same choice. "And you don't have to worry about being good enough for me, Vi. You already are. And the rest... we can figure out together."

His next confession made her feel warm and tingly, and all of the things that she should be feeling this early into their relationship, but given all that had happened, Vandis couldn't help but agree that it felt childish. Of course, that didn't make her like it any less. "I think.. that's how it had to be for us." As strange as it might sound. "I don't know. I've always lived fast so it's not like it's.. too far off course for me." Which was true. "I just... I'm happy that we met, too and I don't know where this is going, but.. wherever it is, I'm happy it's with you." She hated feeling so vulnerable. "But we can slow down if you want. I mean, there's nothing that we can do about the kids. They're coming whether we like it or not, but us... We don't have to move that fast if you don't want to."

(This post was last modified: Mar 28, 2021, 03:59 AM by Vanadis.)

Her voice was small, and he hated it. He hated that he knew that he was the cause that destroyed the sarcastic, flirty tone that it usually had, and had been replaced with this smaller version of herself. Silent for just a moment all he could think to say was, ”We’ll get through this together, and if we can’t we can always run away back to the orchard.” The end was supposed to be a joke, but it would be a lie if Viorel hadn’t thought about trying to whisk her away and ignore their problems. But, he wasn’t that kind of wolf, as tempting as it was.

This was still an awkward topic, and when Clover’s name left Vanadis’ mouth the man shifted on his paws again. He wanted to groan but he held it together, ”For what it’s worth, Clover and I are just friends it’s not like with us. It was only because erm, well I obviously didn’t know we were going to get together and Vayko told me the pack would need pups and she offered…..it was just, for the pack.” It felt like a lame excuse now, but it was the honest truth. ”But um, they’re still going to be my kids so I’m obviously going to love them and want them to be around and that means Clover too.” There was no explaining this in a good way, all he could hope for was that time would heal their relationships so they could all be more comfortable.

His salt and pepper brow furrowed deep over his yellow eyes at the end of her statement. It had started off so nice and made him feel butterflies in a way that he hadn’t felt before with anyone. Every girl before had liked him because he was a Valle and wanted the status symbol, but it seemed like Vanadis liked him for him. But, what had she meant by slow them down? The confusion was clear in his voice, ”Slow down? What do you mean? Is that something you want?” Was she trying to tell him to back off?

A mischievous smile crept across Vanadis' maw as she hummed her approval at his joke. "We could be the king and queen of the orchard. You could put flowers in my fur every morning, and we could eat fermented fruit all summer, and we wouldn't let anyone else in." she teased.

The mood shifted as Viorel did. The subject of Clover was uncomfortable at best, and while she really wished that they didn't have to talk about it, Vanadis knew that they did. "I... I know. I'm not upset about it. I mean, I'm definitely not thrilled, but neither of us knew that we'd end up here. You didn't do anything wrong, Vi. It just.. is what it is, and now we have to deal with it." This was going to be such a strange situation, but she hoped that in time, they'd find some sort of routine that worked for everyone. "I'm not going to pretend like it won't be weird and uncomfortable sometimes, and I'm not going to lie and tell you that I won't ever get jealous, either, but we're going to figure this out." She was determined that they could make something work.

The confusion in his voice gave her a little bit of hope. "I just.. I know you have a lot going on, and that things are moving so fast, and you didn't really sign up for all of this, so if it's too much, or you need to step away, you can. That's not what I want," she confessed. "but if you did, I wouldn't be.. I would understand."