The Wildwood my sensible heart

This was the closest she would dare come to Swift River. Ranger had no desire to be killed, which might happen if Ruiko ran into her in a foul temper, but she had to see if he was out and about. Perhaps they would run into each other by chance and it would save her the embarrassment of groveling. But she would probably grovel anyway; she had hurt him too dearly to <i>not</i> beg forgiveness. Perhaps he would forgive her eventually, but she was certain he would never forget.

The Wildwood had been their hunting grounds during their months as lone wolves. It was close enough to Swift River to keep Kinis safe, but far enough away to not tread on any toes. She wondered how Ruiko was holding up now that he had been king twice, but forced to step down both times when Indru had decided to return. Ranger walked between the trees, her coat as dark as ever. She was still gaunt and thin, however, her hips and shoulders sticking out through her fur. She had gained a little weight since her return, but not enough to cover her thinness or make her look healthy. She would need a pack this winter in order to simply survive, but she hadn't decided whom to join yet. But before she made her choice, she had to see Ruiko.

His muzzle was to the ground, his pace slow as he prowled the old woods of the Wildwood. Long gone were the days of his youth when the forest’s beauty had once overwhelmed him; now most that remained were the sparse bits of foliage that had not been burned by the wildfire, while scarred and ragged trees bore the anger from the flames. The Hidden Tree pack den had not been far from here, but it was rare the tawny male would visit his birth den; his parents death and Hotei’s disappearance was cruel enough to bare day by day, he did not wish to see any form of their remains even if it was unlikely they would be there still.

Instead the day would be spent moving forward to his future, and as promised to both Kinis and Volkan, the regal male was far more serious about claiming territory than before. He had scouted for almost a year now, and he believed the only area he would desire to claim would be further north. Still, he found himself giving the forest one last sweep just to be sure.

What he did find however was something that turned his blood cold for a very split second. Her scent came to him far sooner than he could place it, and no sooner did he glance up did the regal wolf’s bright eyes fall upon the thin and disheveled Ranger. She stood before him, just as she had only half a year ago, though rather than feel joy as he had before, he felt nothing more than rage.

Ranger was the definition of <span class='word'>solecism</span>: ever breaching good manners and etiquette, especially when it counted. The first time she had disappeared on Ruiko had not been her fault, not entirely. She had nearly died during a hunting accident and a pack outside of the area had cared for her and refused to let her leave until she was healthy enough for travel. Ruiko had forgiven her that easily; how could she have made it home in one piece otherwise? But she had no excuse this time, true or imagined.

Ranger had simply left. It was true that a dream had caused her to fear for Ruiko's life and safety, but it was a fever dream, and an inexcusable reason to leave him and Kinis. So it was with great anxiety that she saw him ahead, and wondered how she could have missed his scent, or the sound of his paws hitting on the ground. As she looked up and into his eyes, she saw the flash of pure rage within. <i>At least it's not hatred I see,</i> she thought to herself as she looked down quickly, ears and tail tucking immediately as her body dropped unceremoniously to the ground. He could kill her very easily in her deteriorated state, but she hoped that he would not. That would not be pleasant for either of them, and it would hurt Kinis more than she could imagine.

Instead of speaking, however, she simply remained there, cowering beneath his hot gaze. Even at this distance, she could feel the rage rolling off him in waves, darkening with every moment. She surely looked sorry and poorly suited to fight, and she hoped that he would take pity on her and not kill her on the spot. She couldn't speak, but the tears she had been holding back had begun to prick hotly against her lids as she shut them, hoping they would not spill forth and embarrass her further.

The swarthy female noted his presence then, almost just as quickly as he had realized hers. While the tawny wolf’s response was pure anger, hers was submission, and so Ranger fell to the ground. His eyes stemmed over her briefly, not so lost in his rage to notice that she was dangerously thin and extremely frail looking in that particular moment. Wherever she had disappeared to, it had not done her any good.

Tears formed at her eyes, and such a sight only a year prior would have sent the man to his knees in upset. A year before Ruiko would have fallen backwards to stop such tears from falling down her face, and yet now he felt nothing. A cold brush of wind bristled his pelt further, and as the girl before him cowered, Ruiko took one heavy step forward threateningly, his fangs bared dangerously. He could end her now. Tear in to her as her disappearance had to him. Make her regret the day she had even looked his way.

Yet his muscles tensed. For all of the fresh hot pain he felt just seeing her before him could not erase all of the memories. The inner turmoil of defeat caused a sneer to form upon his muzzle, and without a word the male turned, his figure sweeping back the way he had come.. and as far away from her as he could get, lest his teeth seek her flesh.

There was nothing she could do, especially when she felt the heavy rumble of his threatening step toward her. She knew something was coming, something dangerous and threatening. Her entire body tensed in anticipation, though she would not fight back should he choose to attack. Ruiko had made no noise, however, and simply turned after a moment and stalked away.

Breathless with fear and anxious that she would never get another opportunity, her allowed her throat to relax just enough to breathe out, <b>"I'm sorry."</b> She would not dare say his name; she knew that would simply anger him further, cause him to spin around and rip her throat out. Kinis had told her not to seek him out for this very reason. He was angry, but more than that, he was very hurt by what she had done. Nothing could change that now, but she hoped to at least explain herself to him. Whether or not that changed his mind, time could only tell.

Her voice drifted to him; carried upon the cold breeze as the meaningless apology hit the preened ears of the tawny male. She was sorry. Ruiko felt himself bristle once more, his heavy paws ceasing their movement forward as his muzzle swung her way, his eyes searching to see the joke that must have been in her eyes; the silence clearly awaiting the punch line he expected her to deliver next. Surely such brief words had to have been a joke.

Yet the silence continued, and she did not crack the grin he expected. His gaze narrowed then, his tail jolting dangerously through the air once as he attempted to consider what she thought to accomplish here. “I stopped caring what you were the minute you walked out on us,” he clarified slowly, as if she didn’t quite understand.

She knew it would go like this; she knew that Ruiko would be beyond reasoning with when she finally saw him again. Perhaps it didn't matter to him, but she needed to apologize, to explain what had happened. She had never meant to hurt him; what she did had been done to protect him and Kinis. But the cold, cruel venom present within his voice and words caused her to recoil, tears leaking from beneath her tightly shut lids. No matter how much she mentally prepared herself for this moment, the reality was far different from what she had pictured in her mind. <b>"I won't deny that,"</b> she said, speaking slowly at first. Her throat was tight with the held back tears, but she forced herself to be strong, to not allow her voice to waiver. He might see tears rolling down her cheeks into the snow, but he would never hear her sob. She opened her eyes and stared at his paws, not daring to look into his eyes, though she desperately wanted to. <b>"I won't deny that I left you and Kinis. But I did it for you, to protect you."</b>

Surely he would scoff at her, but she wanted to tell him, to explain. She didn't care if he didn't understand or believe her; the weight of her burden was lifting with every moment. Forgiveness was all she craved; not love or friendship or mateship. She simply wanted to know that he forgave her. She knew he would never forget. <b>"When I returned, my wound was infected. I had many fever dreams, many that scared me so forcefully that I could not breathe when I woke."</b> Surely he could remember her fitful sleep, the way her body refused to keep more than tiny bites down. <b>"It was in one of those dreams that my father came to me. He told me that being with you and Kinis was only going to cause you harm. That he was going to come here and kill you while I watched."</b> Shaking her head, she closed her eyes again and bowed her neck to him. She was already preparing to expose her belly to him, but at the moment she was simply sprawled on the ground, cowering before her once love. <b>"I could not let that happen. So I left, hoping that my scent trail would lead my father away from you and your family. That you would finally be protected without me here."</b>

His gaze swept over the tears, noting the cringe of her battered figure. In the past, the tawny male would have been horrified to have stirred such emotion within her, yet now all he could muster was a grim satisfaction. Perhaps she hurt now just as he had when she had left. Even so, the silence between them grew, and Ruiko’s patience slowly became hindered before the she-wolf finally spoke.

In truth, he cared little to think of the reasons she had left. Scenario’s as to why she had abandoned them before had played on his mind, and at first the regal wolf had thought something had taken her from them. Even days after the male had confirmed with his nose that all was well with the she-wolf (physically, at least) and her trail had ended along the brink of Relic Lore, the tawny wolf had still not fully accepted that she could just leave. But she had.

And as her reason cloaked over him like a hushed whisper, Ruiko felt his hackles bristle even more. She had left him. She had abandoned him because she had a nightmare. A bad dream. The fury at this knowledge faded from him, and the feelings the male had harboured at her betrayal washed over him once more. Numb. Nothing. She was nothing to him.

“I have only one regret in life,” he finally allowed, his rough tone rumbling across the cold winter air. “That I had ever introduced Kinis to you, and allowed him to grow close to and fond of someone like you.” With one last cold glance, the large male turned, this time his figure emerging back to the foliage and away from the ebony she-wolf who was no more to him than a stranger now.