Sex: FemaleThe cough had only gotten worse, feeling a pain burning in her chest as she tried to take a deep breath. She didn’t know where it had all gone wrong, and part of her worried that it would develop into something worse, or that the children would fall ill because of her, that they’d catch it from her. She’d stepped down temporarily as leader because of this, to get better, so she could actually be of some use to the pack. Her eyes felt dull as she started to stir from her nap. Agouti fur brushed against the ground as she forced herself to roll up onto her paws. Why did she feel so weak? She could hear the wheeze in her breath and it was slowly killing her. The one comfort she had was that it was her husband looking after her, helping her recover – she trusted him more than she trusted anyone else. Cough. Cough. She laid back down, feeling too tired despite the nap to even move.
Inna had left Oksana behind in Hearthwood since she had begged to spend some time with the new guy. Inna wasn't sure about if ye could he trusted to not hurt her daughter but the Raven let Oksana visit with him. They seemed to be friends, her daughter needed a friend.
Right after leaving the little Crow with him she crossed the border into Kingsfall where she planned to spend the day. Less and less she felt like being in Hearthwood but she stayed for her daughter so Oksana would have a place for the winter.
She moved at a leisurely pace through the trees until the sound of a cough caught her attention. The Raven went to find out who it was only to find Lilya. “You shouldn't be out here,” she stated her tone expressionless as she came to a stop a few feet from the woman.
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She. Would. Press. On. The words kept replaying in her head. She’d survived a lot worse than a damned cough, right? She’d been tired of being cooped up within the confines of the den, feeling like being surrounded by the walls that were likely covered in her germs was only making her worse. She heard Inna’s voice when she’d finally worked it in herself to move out of the den and she turned her head, shaking it softly.
“Fresh airs some of th’best medicine ‘round.” She argued as she plopped on her butt. What else was she supposed to do? She was almost certain that being that still for that long was making her weaker which would make it harder for her body to fight off her sickness. Her tail brushed against the ground. “How’re you holdin’ up?” She’d promised to be there for Inna a while ago, but the woman hadn’t taken it up the offer yet. She figured it’d be a nice way to attempt to shift focus off of her and her cough… until she coughed again.
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Was she surprised to find the former leader outside the borders considering she was sick. She was but that didn't show, no emotion showed in her face as she sat back on her haunches. She was stronger than that now as things had become much clearer to her since her return and even before that it had just taken her some time to see it. Never again would she allow a wolf to get close enough to hurt her again, to betray her so horribly.
“I see, sounds more like it's causing you even more trouble,” she said referring to the coughing, “I'm sure Lachesis is worried sick about you,” she added flatly. Not surprisingly the woman asked how she was doing, “I'm perfectly fine,” she told as she met the woman's gaze, “I’ve figured things out,” she said. She may not have figured everything out but she had figured out enough she could get by in the pack for her daughter. It was all for Oksana now, her daughter was the most important thing to her. She would he the best mother she could be until the day she wasn't.
Lilya found herself coughing a little more, a slow heave of breath back into her lungs as Inna. “M’not that far from the den… he knows where ta find me.” She argued, because, she was still on the territory and not too far from the den. She didn’t have the energy to make it all the way to the borders. She moved to sit down, knowing it’d be a little easier on her than standing the entire time. She was strong, even in sickness, and she’d prove it. “Ya obviously didn’t ‘ear it before if ya think this is worse.” She responded to the girl’s flat tongue, a curious look on her features.
Inna’s words had felt rather cold, emotionless. It almost felt mildly condescending to the sick woman and it wasn’t something Lilya really appreciated. And goats fly. She thought to herself when Inna said she was perfectly fine. No one recovered that quickly – but, she wasn’t going to push it other than tilting her head slightly to the side.
Inna sat back on her haunches as it seemed she would be there for awhile. She didn't even know why it wasn't as if the woman cared that much what happened to her. “I suppose he will come if he gets too worried.” Then again maybe he wouldn't too consumed with his own stuff. Inna felt stupid having worried about him after her mother's death. She'd been falling apart and still she'd cared more about how he was doing and how the pack was going to get through it but was anyone really there for her when she needed someone? “I suppose I didn't. You at least taking something to help it?” Not that she particularly cared but perhaps it would serve a purpose.
Declaring that she was perfectly fine had been surprisingly easy despite that she wasn't perfectly fine. There were plenty of times she needed to get away from Hearthwood so that she could be free to let herself relax. Inna noticed the tilt of the woman's head though. “Truly,” she stated meeting the woman's gaze, “Mother and father are dead nothing I can do about it. Lorcan he's gone, nothing I can do about that either and it doesn't matter how I feel about it or him, no point on dwelling on it. And the one wolf I thought I could count on Lilya has done just as everyone else. Why should I be surprised though it seems leaving Inna has become a popular sport these days.” She had kept the emotion out of her tone the best she could because the truth of it was she still hurt deeply from it all. “I understand now though,” she said with a nod.
A series of coughs followed. “Sometimes Ah think ‘e worries too much… m’cough’s been getting’ better e’ery day.” She responded, nodding when Inna asked if she was taking anything for it. Of course she was, even if Lachesis at first had to practically force her to take it… she didn’t want to risk getting her daughters sick… she couldn’t handle losing them, not after she’d lost Laddeus. She did her best not to think about that.
Part of her felt a mild irritation at Inna losing herself in her own grief, for evidently not being okay and lying directly to the war veteran about it. Lilya wasn’t stupid, and it was insulting to think Inna thought she was. She understood, but she saw where that road led her. “Ya can count on us… Lach n’Ah ‘aven’t left ya… don’t plan on it either.” She pointed out with a soft tilt of her head, trying to hold back another cough. “Ya can’t control life n’death or if a wolf s’stupid ‘nough ta leave ya… but ya can control if ya let it affect ya.. n’how ya let it affect ya.” She reminded the woman, sympathy in her tone. She really did feel for the girl.
“I'm sure he does,” she said honestly since she knew that to be true, she'd known the pale healer long enough. “Then you'll be back on your feet in no time.” Inna’s feelings about a lot of things had been changing and one of those things was Lilya. Since her mother's death she did feel that the woman had started to step up in her role as leader. Though some things did still worry her but Inna had made a decision and those worries weren't her business anymore.
Inna was angry and felt it better to just keep everything to herself, what good had it served her to try and explain herself to Lachesis. Would it do any good to try with Lilya, it was best to just act like she was fine and that nothing bothered her. Along the way though her facade started to break down and she found herself wanting to talk to Lilya. The woman had been so kind to her since her mother's death. “I feel like I have lost him,” she admitted quietly, “That even though he is still here in Hearthwood a change occurred and I can't reverse it.” It saddened her to no end. But she was starting to feel that it might be best to just accept things the way they were and move on. It was best to just lose them all at once anyway so she could grieve them all at once and get over it. “For a long time I tried to not let it. After my father died and Orren and Lekalta left I was sad, even left Hearthwood for a couple of days running as far as I could before returning. When I returned I worked for the pack hard and helping Lachesis as much as I could. Then it just seemed Everytime I turned around someone else I cared about was leaving. After so many it's just how much more can I go through, how strong can I possibly be to weather this Everytime it happens. It starts to break you down until you can't get back up. That's what happened to me, I think I needed to grieve all of it because I hadn't really done that before.” She hoped that made sense to the woman and that maybe she could see a little but of what Inna was feeling and understand.
Lilya knew her mate, not as well as she knew herself, she knew, but well enough to know what went on in his head when he saw someone he cared for greatly ill or distressed… once he’d calmed down a bit and realized she’d be okay, then he would understand she wasn’t going to break by taking a stroll outside the den. She understood that concern better than anyone… that wasn’t what was worrying her. What worried her was being sick was taking away from her abilities. She wanted to be there for every member of the pack, but there were some who did not appear to want to socialize… she worried about them, and how it might affect them all psychologically.
She offered a sympathetic smile to the mother in front of her. Ah reckon ya ‘aven’t… She promised, pausing softly before explaining her thought. Ah think ‘e’s still grieving… ‘e didn’t really get ta mourn yer mom like ‘e should have when she first passed… he was too worried ‘bout everyone else… She explained softly. She coughed softly before she continued. It’ll take time regardless… n’it might take more or less time than any of us can expect… but eventually, he’ll come back, n’you’ll be as close as ever.” Perhaps she was just optimistic, but she liked to think that a relationship like that, where Lachesis viewed her as family, would not be torn apart like the rest of the world seemed to have been.