What was there to be said for Kiche? He had always been a coward. The unknown had always scared him — and perhaps this was why he believed so desperately in God. He needed a higher power to make sense of things, to organize the world for him, to build a structure. There had been a time not long ago when the doubt had infected him, had poisoned his sight and carried him far away from Relic Lore. He had seen another side to this world that he hadn't liked, a side of himself he hadn't liked. It scared him. And so he had turned his back on this unfamiliar face of nature and run back to God, tail tucked between his legs.
And this why he could not love Elettra.
If he couldn't be afraid of her, if they could be equals... then his world would be turned upside down in ways he could not comprehend. His world had been overturned one too many times in the past few years and this boy, this boy who was slowly growing into an older man, was too tired to face more uncertainty He needed his God and he needed his stoic, brutal Goddess to lead him into the darkness. He wanted to follow her anywhere. He wanted to trust her. But if if they were equals, if Elettra knew no better than he did, then the world would be even darker and more uncertain.
He would never see how this affected her. Even though Kiche was capable of being empathetic in many small, meaningful ways... he was selfish and thoughtless in the very core of his heart, and he longed to know that he was safe. When his safety was threatened he would do anything to protect it, regardless of who it hurt.
"Get up," she said. And so he rose. Comfort flooded back into his veins as he was buffeted by the power of command. She would keep him safe. He could trust her. Unknowingly, a hopeful smile creased his face as he stared down at her familiar paws. The infatuation of a servant reflected in his fiery eyes that would never think to meet hers ever again. Just that once had been enough to last him a lifetime. He watched her paws move, following them as she moved around him. For what purpose, he could not tell. But his trust was infinite.
Is this love? he thought. This is what he felt for Pangur.
Out of nowhere, a black bottle-brush tail came up and thrashed him across his face. The man flinched visibly, unsure of what this painless act of lashing out meant. He wondered if she was going to reach out to his throat and bite him again — for that was what he thought of her. And yet an instant later his nostrils were blasted with a scent he could not name. It overpowered him with a burning curiosity. "You are mine to command," she said, and he felt her teeth buried in his skin. "Yessss," he murmured thickly, twisting his neck to watch her walk back in front of him, feeling the pressure and the coarseness of her black fur, unsure of what was going on. Idly, as if in a dream, he wondered if he should be afraid.
"Touch me."
"I... What?" His voice was the smallest whisper. This command held all the strength of the last one, and yet Kiche could not understand it. For several long moment he stood there in utter confusion, staring down at his lady's paws as if they held some sort of answer. He would follow her command if he could, only, he didn't know what she meant — for clearly there was some sort of darker intention in her tone. She did not want to be touched in such a literal sense...
From where she stood in front of him, though, a thick, inviting scent drifted from her, snaking it's way around his heart. Never had a woman smelled this way to him before. He felt the need to take a step closer, to be closer to this smell that was so warm and sensual. It made him feel strange, tense. Like his whole body was quivering with expectations unknown to his heart. Always were these dark intentions. Maybe his soul had never learned of these things, but it was clear that his body had always known about this moment, it had been passed down to him over thousands of generations. He had been born for this moment.
"Okay," he whispered, a little color returning to his voice. The response was more for himself than for her. He was afraid of what his body would do, but he felt that if Elettra had asked for this... then this was what he must do. There would be time for him to grasp at the meaning later. Only action now, only dark intentions. He took another step, his body rigid. Get on top of her. He had no idea where these instructions were coming from, but he tried to tell himself it was Pangur. That made him feel a little better. Otherwise he was unsure of how he would have done it. His place was on the ground, pressed into the dirt at her feet. Lightly, Kiche raised himself on his hind legs and reached out to grasp his dark Goddess with his forelegs. The sensation of closeness was enough to make him explode. For a moment he teetered dangerously, but somehow he held on.
The world was fading in front of his eyes, and his only thoughts were of her, how to please her.